Bill Cosby for President

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Forum topic by pete57 posted 09-28-2011 02:59 PM 1283 views 1 time favorited 7 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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134 posts in 3646 days

09-28-2011 02:59 PM

Topic tags/keywords: humor



(1). Any use of the phrase: ‘Press 1 for English’ is immediately BANNED!!! English is the official language; speak it or wait outside of our borders until you can.

(2). We will immediately go into a two year isolationist attitude in order to straighten out the greedy big business posture in this country. America will allow NO imports, and we’ll do no exports. We will use the ‘Wal-Mart ’s policy,
‘If we ain’t got it, you don’t need it.’ We’ll make it here and sell it here!

(3). When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it coming in here.

(4). All retired military personnel will be required to man one of the many observation towers located on the southern border of the United States (six month tour). They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTH BOUND aliens.

(5). Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn’t put nuttin in, you AIN’T getting nuttin out. Neither the President nor any other politician will be able to touch it.

(6). Welfare. —Checks will be handed out on Fridays, at the end of the 40 hour school week, the successful completion of a urinalysis test for drugs, and passing grades.

(7). Professional Athletes—Steroids? The FIRST time you check positive you’re banned from sports … for life.

(8). Crime—We will adopt the Turkish method, i.e., the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. No more ‘life sentences’. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for the victim you killed: gun, knife, strangulation, etc.

(9). One export of ours will be allowed: wheat; because the world needs to eat. However, a bushel of wheat will be the EXACT price of a barrel of oil.

(10). All foreign aid, using American taxpayer money, will immediately cease and the saved money will help to pay off the national debt and, ultimately, lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we’ll ask The American People if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision as to whether, or not, it’s a worthy cause.

(11). The Pledge of Allegiance will be said EVERY day at school and every day in CONGRESS.

(12). The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.

My apology is offered if I’ve stepped on anyone’s toes …. nevertheless…..

Sincerely, Bill Cosby

-- Humble Wood Servant

7 replies so far

View Cosmicsniper's profile


2202 posts in 3394 days

#1 posted 09-28-2011 03:40 PM


On #12…I’m okay with the Anthem being played everything, though every most of the time now-a-days, I’m skipping over it on the DVR. I just can’t take some of the vocal “interpretations” of it.

-- jay,

View dbhost's profile


5767 posts in 3468 days

#2 posted 09-28-2011 04:01 PM

On item #4. Why just the SOUTHERN border? Do tell…

-- Please like and subscribe to my YouTube Channel

View Ernst's profile


2 posts in 2669 days

#3 posted 09-28-2011 04:07 PM

On # 2..”America will allow NO imports”......does that include oil?

View Bill Davis's profile

Bill Davis

226 posts in 4160 days

#4 posted 09-28-2011 04:53 PM

Incorrectly attributed to Bill Cosby.

View Howie's profile


2656 posts in 3159 days

#5 posted 09-28-2011 05:44 PM

Sounds good to me. are right, some of those people seem to think they have to embelish that song. Most of the time they sound like they are gagging. What a shame.’s a proven fact the North American continent has more oil reserves than the mid east. We only need their oil because the idiots in Congress say so.

-- Life is good.

View DLCW's profile


530 posts in 2890 days

#6 posted 09-29-2011 03:42 AM

Howie – not just the idiots in Congress but also all the tree-huggers and lawyers who file their lawsuits for them.

-- Don, Diamond Lake Custom Woodworks - - "If you make something idiot proof, all they do is make a better idiot"

View HorizontalMike's profile


7770 posts in 3150 days

#7 posted 09-29-2011 04:10 AM

Yeah, I saw another similar list attributed to Bill Cosby (got an email with it). Unfortunately, this just looks like the GOP trying to reach out and attempt to show a loving GOP that favors integration. Yeah right…

-- HorizontalMike -- "Woodpeckers understand..."

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