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Bill Cosby for President

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Forum topic by pete57 posted 1019 days ago 842 views 1 time favorited 7 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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pete57

134 posts in 1998 days


1019 days ago

Topic tags/keywords: humor

I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT IN THE YEAR 2012.

HERE IS MY PLATFORM:

(1). Any use of the phrase: ‘Press 1 for English’ is immediately BANNED!!! English is the official language; speak it or wait outside of our borders until you can.

(2). We will immediately go into a two year isolationist attitude in order to straighten out the greedy big business posture in this country. America will allow NO imports, and we’ll do no exports. We will use the ‘Wal-Mart ’s policy,
‘If we ain’t got it, you don’t need it.’ We’ll make it here and sell it here!

(3). When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it coming in here.

(4). All retired military personnel will be required to man one of the many observation towers located on the southern border of the United States (six month tour). They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTH BOUND aliens.

(5). Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn’t put nuttin in, you AIN’T getting nuttin out. Neither the President nor any other politician will be able to touch it.

(6). Welfare. —Checks will be handed out on Fridays, at the end of the 40 hour school week, the successful completion of a urinalysis test for drugs, and passing grades.

(7). Professional Athletes—Steroids? The FIRST time you check positive you’re banned from sports … for life.

(8). Crime—We will adopt the Turkish method, i.e., the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. No more ‘life sentences’. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for the victim you killed: gun, knife, strangulation, etc.

(9). One export of ours will be allowed: wheat; because the world needs to eat. However, a bushel of wheat will be the EXACT price of a barrel of oil.

(10). All foreign aid, using American taxpayer money, will immediately cease and the saved money will help to pay off the national debt and, ultimately, lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we’ll ask The American People if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision as to whether, or not, it’s a worthy cause.

(11). The Pledge of Allegiance will be said EVERY day at school and every day in CONGRESS.

(12). The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.

My apology is offered if I’ve stepped on anyone’s toes …. nevertheless…..

GOD BLESS AMERICA !
Sincerely, Bill Cosby

-- Humble Wood Servant


7 replies so far

View Cosmicsniper's profile

Cosmicsniper

2199 posts in 1745 days


#1 posted 1019 days ago

Funny.

On #12…I’m okay with the Anthem being played everything, though every most of the time now-a-days, I’m skipping over it on the DVR. I just can’t take some of the vocal “interpretations” of it.

-- jay, www.allaboutastro.com

View dbhost's profile

dbhost

5377 posts in 1819 days


#2 posted 1019 days ago

On item #4. Why just the SOUTHERN border? Do tell…

-- My workshop blog can be found at http://daves-workshop.blogspot.com

View Ernst's profile

Ernst

2 posts in 1020 days


#3 posted 1019 days ago

On # 2..”America will allow NO imports”......does that include oil?

View Bill Davis's profile

Bill Davis

226 posts in 2511 days


#4 posted 1019 days ago

Incorrectly attributed to Bill Cosby.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/platform.asp

View Howie's profile

Howie

2656 posts in 1510 days


#5 posted 1019 days ago

Sounds good to me.

Cosmic..you are right, some of those people seem to think they have to embelish that song. Most of the time they sound like they are gagging. What a shame.

Ernst..it’s a proven fact the North American continent has more oil reserves than the mid east. We only need their oil because the idiots in Congress say so.

-- Life is good.

View DLCW's profile

DLCW

522 posts in 1241 days


#6 posted 1019 days ago

Howie – not just the idiots in Congress but also all the tree-huggers and lawyers who file their lawsuits for them.

-- Don, Diamond Lake Custom Woodworks - http://www.dlwoodworks.com - "If you make something idiot proof, all they do is make a better idiot"

View HorizontalMike's profile

HorizontalMike

6910 posts in 1501 days


#7 posted 1019 days ago

Yeah, I saw another similar list attributed to Bill Cosby (got an email with it). Unfortunately, this just looks like the GOP trying to reach out and attempt to show a loving GOP that favors integration. Yeah right…

-- HorizontalMike -- "Woodpeckers understand..."

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