• Advertise with us

« back to Coffee Lounge forum

Forum topic by Greg The Cajun Box Sculptor posted 965 days ago 1844 views 2 times favorited 81 replies Add to Favorites Watch
View Greg The Cajun Box Sculptor's profile

Greg The Cajun Box Sculptor

4736 posts in 1809 days

965 days ago

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him,

“Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.

“I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.”

The man smiled and responded, “You must be an Obama-Democrat.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are—or where you are going. You’ve risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault.”

-- Every step of each project is considered my masterpiece because I want the finished product to reflect the quality of my work.

81 replies so far

View gfadvm's profile


9545 posts in 1191 days

#1 posted 965 days ago

UH OH, You done it now! This may get interesting.

-- " I'll try to be nicer, if you'll try to be smarter" gfadvm

View HawkDriver's profile


447 posts in 1134 days

#2 posted 965 days ago

I eagerly await the following comments…....

-- Patrick, Helicopters don't fly. They beat the air into submission.

View moment's profile


1972 posts in 1182 days

#3 posted 965 days ago

The balloon crashed into the water . The man dove into the water and rescued her. They discovered they had more in common than they thought . They fell in love , and married , and sailed all over the world . They had many beautiful children and grandchildren , and they delighted in telling the story of how they first met .

View ShopTinker's profile


870 posts in 1269 days

#4 posted 965 days ago

That’s funny…... hold on, congress is about to pass a law that all hot are balloons will come with a GPS unit and a satellite phone as standard equipment. The phone will be used to call a newly created Federal Bureau of Logistics so someone can explain what the GPS coordinates mean…... (funded by fines imposed on Hot Air Balloon manufacturers and new surcharges on nylon, propane, and wicker)

-- Dan - Valparaiso, Indiana, "A smart man changes his mind, a fool never does."

View LittlePaw's profile


1565 posts in 1579 days

#5 posted 965 days ago

You sure it wasn’t hot laughing gas? Actually it ended when the balloonist caught a powerful thermal, rose high into the sky disappeared and never to be heard from forever! Oh bummer!

-- LittlePAW - The sweetest sound in my shop, next to Mozart, is what a hand plane makes slicing a ribbon.

View David Grimes's profile

David Grimes

2071 posts in 1141 days

#6 posted 965 days ago

They are easily able to hear one another due to the laws of Fiction.

-- If you're going to stir the pot, think BIG spoon or SMALL boat paddle. David Grimes, Georgia

View Dennisgrosen's profile


10850 posts in 1616 days

#7 posted 965 days ago

thank´s for the morning laugh fok´s …. :—)))

preciated it , it will make the next 24 hours on the job alot easyer …. L J´s rock


View snowdog's profile


1127 posts in 2483 days

#8 posted 964 days ago

2012 is come don’t let anyone split the vote

-- "so much to learn and so little time"..

View KoryK's profile


224 posts in 1190 days

#9 posted 964 days ago

Love it!!

-- If you not making sawdust, your probably wasting your time. Kory

View ChuckV's profile


2260 posts in 2028 days

#10 posted 964 days ago


You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level.

The boat could be in a lake which is 2,346 feet above sea level. The balloon is only 30 feet above the lake.

-- “A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.” ― Mark Twain

View Bertha's profile


12942 posts in 1194 days

#11 posted 964 days ago

Love it, Greg!

-- My dad and I built a 65 chev pick up.I killed trannys in that thing for some reason-Hog

View Arlin Eastman's profile

Arlin Eastman

1590 posts in 1062 days

#12 posted 964 days ago

You have to love humor hahaha

-- It is always the right time, to do the right thing.

View pariswoodworking's profile


379 posts in 986 days

#13 posted 964 days ago

LOL, that was a funny joke.

-- Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. -- Albert Einstein

View EPJartisan's profile


933 posts in 1626 days

#14 posted 963 days ago

Again.. another piece of crap from the non-woodworking forum… and another “buddy” bites the dust.

-- the sacrifice of one's ego is the greatest gift to someone you respect

View murch's profile


1120 posts in 1125 days

#15 posted 963 days ago

I have always enjoyed wit and irony. Great joke Greg.

-- A family man has photos in his wallet where his money used to be.

showing 1 through 15 of 81 replies

Have your say...

You must be signed in to reply.

DISCLAIMER: Any posts on LJ are posted by individuals acting in their own right and do not necessarily reflect the views of LJ. LJ will not be held liable for the actions of any user.

Latest Projects | Latest Blog Entries | Latest Forum Topics

Latest Projects | Latest Blog Entries | Latest Forum Topics :: gardening showcase