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Forum topic by longgone posted 08-28-2011 05:25 AM 2446 views 2 times favorited 81 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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5688 posts in 3330 days

08-28-2011 05:25 AM

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him,

“Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.

“I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.”

The man smiled and responded, “You must be an Obama-Democrat.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are—or where you are going. You’ve risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault.”

81 replies so far

View gfadvm's profile


14940 posts in 2712 days

#1 posted 08-28-2011 05:31 AM

UH OH, You done it now! This may get interesting.

-- " I'll try to be nicer, if you'll try to be smarter" gfadvm

View HawkDriver's profile


447 posts in 2655 days

#2 posted 08-28-2011 05:34 AM

I eagerly await the following comments…....

-- Patrick, Helicopters don't fly. They beat the air into submission.

View S4S's profile


2118 posts in 2703 days

#3 posted 08-28-2011 06:25 AM

The balloon crashed into the water . The man dove into the water and rescued her. They discovered they had more in common than they thought . They fell in love , and married , and sailed all over the world . They had many beautiful children and grandchildren , and they delighted in telling the story of how they first met .

View ShopTinker's profile


884 posts in 2790 days

#4 posted 08-28-2011 06:32 AM

That’s funny…... hold on, congress is about to pass a law that all hot are balloons will come with a GPS unit and a satellite phone as standard equipment. The phone will be used to call a newly created Federal Bureau of Logistics so someone can explain what the GPS coordinates mean…... (funded by fines imposed on Hot Air Balloon manufacturers and new surcharges on nylon, propane, and wicker)

-- Dan - Valparaiso, Indiana, "A smart man changes his mind, a fool never does."

View LittlePaw's profile


1571 posts in 3100 days

#5 posted 08-28-2011 06:50 AM

You sure it wasn’t hot laughing gas? Actually it ended when the balloonist caught a powerful thermal, rose high into the sky disappeared and never to be heard from forever! Oh bummer!

-- LittlePAW - The sweetest sound in my shop, next to Mozart, is what a hand plane makes slicing a ribbon.

View David Grimes's profile

David Grimes

2078 posts in 2661 days

#6 posted 08-28-2011 08:20 AM

They are easily able to hear one another due to the laws of Fiction.

-- If you're going to stir the pot, think BIG spoon or SMALL boat paddle. David Grimes, Georgia

View Dennisgrosen's profile


10880 posts in 3137 days

#7 posted 08-28-2011 08:50 AM

thank´s for the morning laugh fok´s …. :—)))

preciated it , it will make the next 24 hours on the job alot easyer …. L J´s rock


View snowdog's profile


1164 posts in 4004 days

#8 posted 08-28-2011 01:59 PM

2012 is come don’t let anyone split the vote

-- "so much to learn and so little time"..

View KoryK's profile


229 posts in 2711 days

#9 posted 08-28-2011 09:44 PM

Love it!!

-- If you not making sawdust, your probably wasting your time. Kory

View ChuckV's profile


3123 posts in 3549 days

#10 posted 08-28-2011 10:02 PM


You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level.

The boat could be in a lake which is 2,346 feet above sea level. The balloon is only 30 feet above the lake.

-- “Big man, pig man, ha ha, charade you are.” ― R. Waters

View Bertha's profile


13529 posts in 2715 days

#11 posted 08-28-2011 10:34 PM

Love it, Greg!

-- My dad and I built a 65 chev pick up.I killed trannys in that thing for some reason-Hog

View Arlin Eastman's profile

Arlin Eastman

4230 posts in 2583 days

#12 posted 08-28-2011 10:52 PM

You have to love humor hahaha

-- It is always the right time, to do the right thing.

View pariswoodworking's profile


389 posts in 2507 days

#13 posted 08-28-2011 11:35 PM

LOL, that was a funny joke.

-- Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. -- Albert Einstein

View EPJartisan's profile


1118 posts in 3147 days

#14 posted 08-29-2011 06:02 PM

Again.. another piece of crap from the non-woodworking forum… and another “buddy” bites the dust.

-- " 'Truth' is like a beautiful flower, unique to each plant and to the season it blossoms ... 'Fact' is the root and leaf, allowing the plant grow and bloom again."

View murch's profile


1380 posts in 2646 days

#15 posted 08-29-2011 06:34 PM

I have always enjoyed wit and irony. Great joke Greg.

-- A family man has photos in his wallet where his money used to be.

showing 1 through 15 of 81 replies

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