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Forum topic by Chipy posted 08-27-2011 08:11 PM 998 views 0 times favorited 16 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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Chipy

374 posts in 1317 days


08-27-2011 08:11 PM

Topic tags/keywords: humor resource tip

Tools explained indoor addition.
1.The common butter knife is the indoor screw driver. Designed to almost get the screw out until you give up and go to the garage to get the right screw driver. It almost works on both Phillips and flat bladed screws.
2.The kitchen chair is the indoor handy man’s ladder. For installing Curtin rods while testing your balance at the same time. Also if the chair has a wobbly leg it can help to develop leg strength.
3.Bobby pin replaces the all when your child has discovered how to use the lock on the bath room door. Also known to be a good used as tooth pick but not recommended for persons using Brill Cream because it’s just in poor taste literally.
4.Steak knife, just as good as the utility knife for ruining things you bought on the internet the only difference from the utility knife is the steak knife leaves that nice scalloped design on whatever you have ruined.
5.Turkey baster, Let’s just say this may come in handy, well let’s not go there, suffice it to say it can save you a lot of money in the fertility department.
6.The iron good for laminating heat glue edge bands. Not frowned on by the wife as long she is getting a new set of kitchen cabinets out of the deal.
7.Hair dryer Like it’s cousin the heat gun good for drying paint in January and installing that plastic film that really doesn’t do anything for your heating bill. If you can get away with it, that model your daughter uses, you know the one it has 6,000 BTU and 900 cfm and is vary affective but don’t let your daughter catch you!
8.Emery board Makes a nice file but like the hair dryer watch out cretin female family members.
9.Finger nail clipper is the indoor equivalent of its outdoor brother wire cutters. Indispensable when you are too lazy to go to the work shop when doing a cable TV hook up.
10.Spatula What dosen’t this thing do.It can make a very efective ice scraper,wall paper remover,paint scraper,pry bar the possibltys are endless!
Let’s hear what you have to say. I know there are some tools that I have missed?


16 replies so far

View Mark Shymanski's profile

Mark Shymanski

5115 posts in 2436 days


#1 posted 08-28-2011 05:11 AM

This is one of my pet peeves, using the wrong artifact when a proper tool is available. I don’t have purpose build tools for every application, but why would you want to mess up something meant for another purpose especially if you already have the proper tool? I don’t mean to be argumentative it is just something that irks me.

-- "Checking for square? What madness is this! The cabinet is square because I will it to be so!" Jeremy Greiner LJ Topic#20953 2011 Feb 2

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Chipy

374 posts in 1317 days


#2 posted 08-28-2011 05:22 AM

It’s just a little humor that’s all.Just stop reading I don’t want you to get yourself all upset.

View docholladay's profile

docholladay

1286 posts in 1783 days


#3 posted 08-28-2011 05:47 AM

Don’t forget the various items that also double as a hammer in a pinch, hair brush, heel of a shoe.

Doc

-- Hey, woodworking ain't brain surgery. Just do something and keep trying till you get it. Doc

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Chipy

374 posts in 1317 days


#4 posted 08-28-2011 02:31 PM

docholladay…..That’s what I’m talkin about!

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Cosmicsniper

2199 posts in 1882 days


#5 posted 08-28-2011 04:35 PM

Yeah, I have to admit that sometimes I’ll bang on stuff with the battery of my Craftsman LiIon driver just because it’s convenient.

Scissors are a pretty good multi-use tool as well. The other day I used them as wedge for something I was doing because I didn’t have the right tools at work.

I used to use old AOL CDs for various things as well…coasters, paint palettes, circle templates, frisbees, whatever.

-- jay, www.allaboutastro.com

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StephenO

37 posts in 1269 days


#6 posted 08-29-2011 02:41 AM

Going in the reverse direction, a 3” deck screw and a pair of vice grips will work well if you don’t happen to have a corkscrew handy. Not terribly romantic, though, even if your meal is candlelit with a pair of propane torches on either end of the table.

-- -Steve, Seattle

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Chipy

374 posts in 1317 days


#7 posted 08-29-2011 02:56 AM

StephenO I will log that tip my memory bank Cool !!!! I have been known to link camping with wine and forgot our corkscrew ended up with corked wine…..solution…we used a paper towel as a filter!

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jerkylips

233 posts in 1294 days


#8 posted 08-29-2011 07:01 PM

my most mis-used “tool” is probaby my teeth. Can’t get a grip on something, just bite down on it…..

View Mark Shymanski's profile

Mark Shymanski

5115 posts in 2436 days


#9 posted 09-01-2011 04:52 AM

Okay, that is a pretty cool unintended use of a torch! Nothing says romance like dual propane torches…LOL!

-- "Checking for square? What madness is this! The cabinet is square because I will it to be so!" Jeremy Greiner LJ Topic#20953 2011 Feb 2

View Flyin636's profile

Flyin636

57 posts in 1217 days


#10 posted 09-01-2011 12:33 PM

Wifey poo can’t keep a cookie sheet in the kitchen….....I love these things.We use’m in the machine shop for abunch of stuff.Also am partial to those Stouffers brand microwave MacNcheese,black plastic trays in cabinet and paint shop.

Have wifey convinced that Dawn,greenscotchbrite,majic erasers,laundry pwd(not liquid stuff),mineral oil,Blue lable easy-off,cat litter,Viva paper towells are all on the grocery list.Flyin 636

View getlostinwood's profile

getlostinwood

224 posts in 1326 days


#11 posted 09-02-2011 04:36 PM

Vise grips and razor blade for cleaning the stove where I spilled the cheese.
Steak knife as a drywall saw – this works great
Bar stool, this is the extension ladder to the chair, really a challenge as ours have swivel seats, to the positive it really works the core trying to get it to spin back where you started.
Kids razor scooter as a makeshift dolly – Ive used it to move everything from large log, furniture, to tools. This is also a great way to teach the kids about center of gravity

-- The basis for optimism is shear terror

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Grandpa

3193 posts in 1399 days


#12 posted 09-03-2011 12:44 AM

When you can’t find the correct size allen wrench use a hex head bolt and a pair of vise grips.

View murch's profile (online now)

murch

1184 posts in 1348 days


#13 posted 09-03-2011 01:18 AM

Getlostinwood – The next time you’re standing up on a swivel-top bar stool, on top
of a kitchen chair, stretching out as far as you can to reach something, will you get someone
to video it and post a link on here. Please!!

-- A family man has photos in his wallet where his money used to be.

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getlostinwood

224 posts in 1326 days


#14 posted 09-04-2011 03:15 PM

IF I do then I will, as I approach 40 i’m making a serious effort to make wiser decisions. Not going to say I wont have lapses but I’m trying

-- The basis for optimism is shear terror

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DamnYankee

3240 posts in 1286 days


#15 posted 09-05-2011 11:38 AM

@mark and all others – As a result of pretty much the same opinion as Mark (though I’ve been known to slip now and then and “adapt” an artifact to an unintended purpose) I’ve ended up having to either move old handtools (screwdrivers, hammer, etc) into the house as everytime I would go out to the shop, bring in the correct tool I would invariablly couldn’t be bothered to take the dang tool back out to the shop when I was done. As a result some would pile up by our back door to be taken out “later”. As you can probably guess eventually I would be out in the shop and couldn’t find the dang-blasted __ as it was in the HOUSE!

-- Shameless - Winner of two Stumpy Nubs Awards

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