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Forum topic by Mark posted 09-21-2018 11:09 PM 431 views 0 times favorited 5 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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Mark

971 posts in 2175 days


09-21-2018 11:09 PM

WHY I LIKE GETTING OLDER
1. My goal for 2018 was to lose 10 pounds. Only 15 to go!

2. I ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza!

3. How to prepare Tofu: a. Throw it in the trash b. Grill some meat

4. I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

5. I don’t mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

7. Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

9. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero outside they closed school? Me neither.

10. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented. I forgot where I was going with this.

11. I love being over 65. I learn something new every day and forget 5 others.

12. A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.

13. I think I’ll just put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.

14. November 3, 2018 is the end of Daylight Savings Time. Don’t forget to set your bathroom scale back 10 pounds Saturday night.

15. Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

-- Mark


5 replies so far

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Mark Wilson

2291 posts in 1264 days


#1 posted 09-21-2018 11:24 PM

Do you know the rules of 40 (turning 40)?
Never pass up the opportunity to use a nearby toilet.
Never trust a fart.
Never let a perfectly good (use your imagination) go to waste.

I memorized these rule a long time ago.

-- Mark

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Rick S...

10913 posts in 3233 days


#2 posted 09-22-2018 12:45 AM


Do you know the rules of 40 (turning 40)?
Never pass up the opportunity to use a nearby toilet.
Never trust a fart.
Never let a perfectly good (use your imagination) go to waste.

I memorized these rule a long time ago.

- Mark Wilson

Good Rules Mark Wilson! I’m Well past 40 and I follow them all the time!

Posting Mark: Those 15 of yours while being pretty true are a HOOT. LMAO! I’m going to copy them for sure. Thanks Buddy!

Rick S.

-- I Chose "The Road Less Travelled" Now I'm Totally Lost! (Ontario, CANADA)

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Rick S...

10913 posts in 3233 days


#3 posted 09-27-2018 10:24 PM


Yea! I know. It’s in another Post. So What!

Just Me!!

-- I Chose "The Road Less Travelled" Now I'm Totally Lost! (Ontario, CANADA)

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Rick S...

10913 posts in 3233 days


#4 posted 09-27-2018 10:25 PM

NO Peace At All!

-- I Chose "The Road Less Travelled" Now I'm Totally Lost! (Ontario, CANADA)

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Rick S...

10913 posts in 3233 days


#5 posted 09-28-2018 03:56 AM

Mark

YOUR 15 POINTER IS STILL THE WINNER! I Laugh like a Crazy Man (Maybe I am) Every time I read it!


Reminds me of: Two Guys sitting on a Bench in front of their Old Age Home. One guy can’t stop complaining about His Aches & Pains. The other guy just sits there.

The first guy says Well! What about You? He says, ME? I Feel just Like a NEW BABY! No Hair, No Teeth and I just WET Myself!

Regards: Rick S.

-- I Chose "The Road Less Travelled" Now I'm Totally Lost! (Ontario, CANADA)

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