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Forum topic by juniorjock posted 1099 days ago 1030 views 1 time favorited 38 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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juniorjock

1930 posts in 2365 days


1099 days ago

Topic tags/keywords: humor nfl lock-out

Hundreds of professional football players in our very own nation are currently locked out, living at well below their seven-figure salary level. As a result, they have been deprived of their life-sustaining pay for several months. But you can help!

For only $27,080 a month, or about $902.67 a day (that’s less than the cost of a large-screen TV), you can help an NFL player remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem, as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it’s a start, and every little bit will help!

Although $900 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a football player it could mean the difference between spending the lockout golfing in Florida or going on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, $900 is nothing more than a month’s rent, a mortgage payment or a month of medical insurance, but to a football player $900 will partially replace his daily salary. Your commitment to only $900 a day will enable a player to buy that home entertainment center, trade in his year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.

HOW WILL I KNOW I’M HELPING?

Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real estate and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the player lounging during the lockout on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean. (For a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples’ suffering.

HOW WILL HE KNOW I’M HELPING?

Your NFL player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in his time of need. Although the player won’t know your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.

Remember, an extravagant lifestyle is a horrible thing to waste!

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

YES, I WANT TO HELP!

I would like to sponsor a locked-out NFL player. My preference is:

[ ] Offense [ ] Defense [ ] Special Teams [ ] Entire team

Please charge the account listed below $902..75 per day for the duration of the lockout. Please send me a picture of the player and my very own Roger Goodell pin to wear proudly on my hat. (Include $80 for hat)

Your Name: Telephone Number:
Account Number:
Exp.Date:

[ ] Master Card [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

Signature:

Alternate credit card (for use when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):
Account Number:
Exp.Date:
[ ] Maste rCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

Signature: _


38 replies so far

View Sheila Landry (scrollgirl)'s profile

Sheila Landry (scrollgirl)

7477 posts in 1519 days


#1 posted 1099 days ago

This is as they say . . . . “Priceless!”

Great perspective!!! Thanks for the smile on a Saturday morning!

Sheila :D

-- Contributing Editor, Creative Woodworks and Crafts Magazine, If you like reading my blog, come visit at Sheila Landry Designs http://www.sheilalandrydesigns.com "Knowledge is Power"

View helluvawreck's profile

helluvawreck

15411 posts in 1466 days


#2 posted 1099 days ago

Well, I might give a days worth, but I’ll have to deduct $902 for my trouble.

-- If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away. Henry David Thoreau

View GMman's profile

GMman

3902 posts in 2297 days


#3 posted 1099 days ago

If I comment on this JJ I will be ban for life from LJ .

View Karson's profile

Karson

34858 posts in 3000 days


#4 posted 1099 days ago

Very nice. We all need to help

-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Southern Delaware karson_morrison@bigfoot.com †

View rusty2010's profile

rusty2010

125 posts in 1157 days


#5 posted 1099 days ago

My donation is on the way, I was going to give to the Sisters of the Poor. thank you for the enlightment

-- check, recheck then check again

View knotscott's profile

knotscott

5369 posts in 1975 days


#6 posted 1099 days ago

Kinda chokes you up just thinking about what those guys are going through…

-- Happiness is like wetting your pants...everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth....

View CharlieM1958's profile

CharlieM1958

15663 posts in 2817 days


#7 posted 1099 days ago

LMAO!!!

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View papadan's profile

papadan

1116 posts in 1967 days


#8 posted 1099 days ago

I guess Brett retired too soon, he would have been my choice to sponsor. ;-)

-- Carpenter assembles with hands, Designer builds with brains, Artist creates with heart!

View Karson's profile

Karson

34858 posts in 3000 days


#9 posted 1099 days ago

You could support Shaq he’s looking for a place to play.

-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Southern Delaware karson_morrison@bigfoot.com †

View Cozmo35's profile

Cozmo35

2198 posts in 1635 days


#10 posted 1099 days ago

As GMman said, if I comment on this, I too will be banned from LJ.

-- If you don't work, you don't eat!.....Garland, TX

View ellen35's profile

ellen35

2557 posts in 2031 days


#11 posted 1099 days ago

ROTFLMAO!

-- "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good." Voltaire

View WayneC's profile

WayneC

12252 posts in 2696 days


#12 posted 1099 days ago

Yeah, but who is helping the owners?

-- We must guard our enthusiasm as we would our life - James Krenov

View sawblade1's profile

sawblade1

754 posts in 1626 days


#13 posted 1099 days ago

LOVE IT :) LOL:)
My company thinks 9.45 Per Hr is too much!! Maybe I will forward this to my Manager LOL:)

-- Proverbs Ch:3 vs 5,6,7 Trust in the lord with all thine heart and lean not unto your own understanding but in all your ways aknowledge him and he shall direct your path elmerthomas81@neo.rr.com

View ChuckV's profile

ChuckV

2378 posts in 2126 days


#14 posted 1099 days ago

Thanks for posting this. For me, it really helps to put things in perspective when I learn what some people are suffering through.

-- “That it will never come again / Is what makes life so sweet. ” ― Emily Dickinson

View pierce85's profile

pierce85

508 posts in 1161 days


#15 posted 1099 days ago

The idea of a labor union for multimillionaires or even the poverty-stricken, minimum-salary rookie at around $300,000 per year is almost as ridiculous as the average net worth of an average NFL owner which is in the billions.

I’m not shedding any tears over the “plight” of NFL players, but what I’ll never understand is why – in today’s world – the average middle-class working stiff consistently sides with the proverbial boss, the owner, the corporation, the Warren Buffetts of the world.

Perspective is indeed key. I just can’t understand why we always adopt the corporate perspective.

Note: so will this get me banned?

showing 1 through 15 of 38 replies

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