|Forum topic by juniorjock||posted 07-23-2011 01:57 PM||1182 views||1 time favorited||38 replies|
07-23-2011 01:57 PM
Hundreds of professional football players in our very own nation are currently locked out, living at well below their seven-figure salary level. As a result, they have been deprived of their life-sustaining pay for several months. But you can help!
For only $27,080 a month, or about $902.67 a day (that’s less than the cost of a large-screen TV), you can help an NFL player remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem, as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it’s a start, and every little bit will help!
Although $900 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a football player it could mean the difference between spending the lockout golfing in Florida or going on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, $900 is nothing more than a month’s rent, a mortgage payment or a month of medical insurance, but to a football player $900 will partially replace his daily salary. Your commitment to only $900 a day will enable a player to buy that home entertainment center, trade in his year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.
HOW WILL I KNOW I’M HELPING?
Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real estate and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the player lounging during the lockout on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean. (For a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples’ suffering.
HOW WILL HE KNOW I’M HELPING?
Your NFL player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in his time of need. Although the player won’t know your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.
Remember, an extravagant lifestyle is a horrible thing to waste!
YES, I WANT TO HELP!
I would like to sponsor a locked-out NFL player. My preference is:
[ ] Offense [ ] Defense [ ] Special Teams [ ] Entire team
Please charge the account listed below $902..75 per day for the duration of the lockout. Please send me a picture of the player and my very own Roger Goodell pin to wear proudly on my hat. (Include $80 for hat)
Your Name: Telephone Number:
[ ] Master Card [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other
Alternate credit card (for use when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):