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Forum topic by juniorjock posted 07-23-2011 01:57 PM 1794 views 1 time favorited 38 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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1930 posts in 3733 days

07-23-2011 01:57 PM

Topic tags/keywords: humor nfl lock-out

Hundreds of professional football players in our very own nation are currently locked out, living at well below their seven-figure salary level. As a result, they have been deprived of their life-sustaining pay for several months. But you can help!

For only $27,080 a month, or about $902.67 a day (that’s less than the cost of a large-screen TV), you can help an NFL player remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem, as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it’s a start, and every little bit will help!

Although $900 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a football player it could mean the difference between spending the lockout golfing in Florida or going on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, $900 is nothing more than a month’s rent, a mortgage payment or a month of medical insurance, but to a football player $900 will partially replace his daily salary. Your commitment to only $900 a day will enable a player to buy that home entertainment center, trade in his year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.


Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real estate and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the player lounging during the lockout on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean. (For a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples’ suffering.


Your NFL player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in his time of need. Although the player won’t know your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.

Remember, an extravagant lifestyle is a horrible thing to waste!



I would like to sponsor a locked-out NFL player. My preference is:

[ ] Offense [ ] Defense [ ] Special Teams [ ] Entire team

Please charge the account listed below $902..75 per day for the duration of the lockout. Please send me a picture of the player and my very own Roger Goodell pin to wear proudly on my hat. (Include $80 for hat)

Your Name: Telephone Number:
Account Number:

[ ] Master Card [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other


Alternate credit card (for use when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):
Account Number:
[ ] Maste rCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

Signature: _

38 replies so far

View Sheila Landry (scrollgirl)'s profile

Sheila Landry (scrollgirl)

9222 posts in 2887 days

#1 posted 07-23-2011 02:17 PM

This is as they say . . . . “Priceless!”

Great perspective!!! Thanks for the smile on a Saturday morning!

Sheila :D

-- Designer/Artist/Teacher. Owner of Sheila Landry Designs ( Scroll saw, wood working and painting patterns and surfaces. "Knowledge is Power"

View helluvawreck's profile


30765 posts in 2834 days

#2 posted 07-23-2011 02:18 PM

Well, I might give a days worth, but I’ll have to deduct $902 for my trouble.

-- helluvawreck aka Charles,

View GMman's profile


3902 posts in 3665 days

#3 posted 07-23-2011 02:29 PM

If I comment on this JJ I will be ban for life from LJ .

View Karson's profile


35111 posts in 4368 days

#4 posted 07-23-2011 02:34 PM

Very nice. We all need to help

-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Southern Delaware soon moving to Virginia †

View rusty2010's profile


150 posts in 2525 days

#5 posted 07-23-2011 02:40 PM

My donation is on the way, I was going to give to the Sisters of the Poor. thank you for the enlightment

-- check, recheck then check again

View knotscott's profile


7980 posts in 3343 days

#6 posted 07-23-2011 02:40 PM

Kinda chokes you up just thinking about what those guys are going through…

-- Happiness is like wetting your pants...everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth....

View CharlieM1958's profile


16274 posts in 4185 days

#7 posted 07-23-2011 03:30 PM


-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View papadan's profile


3584 posts in 3335 days

#8 posted 07-23-2011 03:44 PM

I guess Brett retired too soon, he would have been my choice to sponsor. ;-)

View Karson's profile


35111 posts in 4368 days

#9 posted 07-23-2011 04:17 PM

You could support Shaq he’s looking for a place to play.

-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Southern Delaware soon moving to Virginia †

View Cozmo35's profile


2200 posts in 3003 days

#10 posted 07-23-2011 04:40 PM

As GMman said, if I comment on this, I too will be banned from LJ.

-- If you don't work, you don't eat!.....Garland, TX

View ellen35's profile


2734 posts in 3399 days

#11 posted 07-23-2011 04:44 PM


-- "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good." Voltaire

View WayneC's profile


13753 posts in 4064 days

#12 posted 07-23-2011 04:51 PM

Yeah, but who is helping the owners?

-- We must guard our enthusiasm as we would our life - James Krenov

View sawblade1's profile


754 posts in 2994 days

#13 posted 07-23-2011 04:52 PM

My company thinks 9.45 Per Hr is too much!! Maybe I will forward this to my Manager LOL:)

-- Proverbs Ch:3 vs 5,6,7 Trust in the lord with all thine heart and lean not unto your own understanding but in all your ways aknowledge him and he shall direct your path

View ChuckV's profile


3111 posts in 3494 days

#14 posted 07-23-2011 05:14 PM

Thanks for posting this. For me, it really helps to put things in perspective when I learn what some people are suffering through.

-- “Big man, pig man, ha ha, charade you are.” ― R. Waters

View pierce85's profile


508 posts in 2529 days

#15 posted 07-23-2011 05:30 PM

The idea of a labor union for multimillionaires or even the poverty-stricken, minimum-salary rookie at around $300,000 per year is almost as ridiculous as the average net worth of an average NFL owner which is in the billions.

I’m not shedding any tears over the “plight” of NFL players, but what I’ll never understand is why – in today’s world – the average middle-class working stiff consistently sides with the proverbial boss, the owner, the corporation, the Warren Buffetts of the world.

Perspective is indeed key. I just can’t understand why we always adopt the corporate perspective.

Note: so will this get me banned?

showing 1 through 15 of 38 replies

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