Apr 1 humor

If all these things are true, then I don’t know what to think about myself. I just returned from a five day trip to Minneapolis/Saint Paul for ”Spring Break.” It was odd though seeing the natives running around in shorts and Tshirts because it had warmed up to 45 degrees. All kidding aside, it truly is beautiful country with extremely kind and gracious people. I look forward to going back soon.

-- Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit.

If the four seasons are July 3rd,4th,5th and winter, you might live in Minnesota.

If people refer to your state as southern Canada, you might live in Minnesota.

If your snow goes sidways instead of down, you might live in Minnesota.

If your state bird is a penguin, you might live in Minnesota.

If you take your car to a different state, and people want to know if it is an electric car because a plug-in is hanging out of the grill, you might live in Minnesota

If North Dakota blows and your state sucks, you might live in Minnesota. Only kidding rikkor. I lived in North Dakota for 17 years.

-- Mc Bridge Cabinets, Iowa

Hey Mac, no offense from the colossus to your east.

-- Maplewood, MN

dam i didnt qualify for any of those ! guess im not in minisotta

I had to Google “Mill’s Fleet Farm”! I guess I’m definitely not from Minnesota! ;-)

Had a good friend from there, he always said Minnesota slowly with well defined syllables like – ‘min-uh-SO-duh’.

-- Tim D. - Woodstock, GA

ha most of those relate to Canada as well.. too funny

-- "Functional WoodArt" by Debbie, Canada (http://www.execulink.com/~yohan)

I’ve got a brother in Fargo. I try to go visit in summer when it’s still cool 70’s which I understand is considered warm there. In Texas we wear our jackets when it’s in the low 70’s. The winters in that part of the country is just to much for this warm weather bird.

-- Betsy - GO BUCKS!

If you see the wonder of the Northern Lights, you might live in Minnesota.

If you hear the far cry of a loon or a wolf, you might live in Minnesota.

If you portage a canoe from one lake to another, you might live in Minnesota.

-- Ron in Osseo, Minnesota

AUTHOR, AUTHOR … yah, tanks

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke".

Great Rikkor, and others. Great read.

-- Karson Southern Delaware karson_morrison@bigfoot.com

Nebraska has the same type of weather, we work in t-shirts in 30 degree weather. does that qualify me? Nobody like to be from NE this year.

-- Pretzel L8agn

Hey I have never even been to Minnesota. Not really sure where it is either.

Thanks Rikkor

-- With God's help all things are possible- even woodworking. Woodworking is not just a hobby, it is an (expletive deleted) expensive hobby.

Head to Fargo ND hang a right your there.

-- Pretzel L8agn

Ya, dat’s Minnasota. Also applies to North Dakota, Montana and Wyoming.

-- Thos. Angle, Owyhee Design, Oregon

I grew up in Ames Iowa and all of Minnisota’s cold weather always dipped down our way. Iowa gets just as cold as Minnisota, but just as hot as Texas.

-- ..... art for lifes sake ... danwalters@lumberjocks.com

I would have to say that I’m not from there! Thankfully. :-)

-- Gary, East TX -- The longest journey begins with a single step.

funny

when your driving 80 miles per hour down the highway and you see headlights coming your way from another car…............and you watch the headlights go byy ou 4 hours later…............you know your in Alberta Canada

-- http://www.furnituremann.ca/

I lived in Tucson, AZ for a while and read some of the local folklore about dealing with the heat:

1 – Keep oven mitts in your car. After it’s been parked a while you’ll need them to hold the steering wheel.

2 – Leave you window rolled down a little when parking so the windows won’t blow out when the air inside superheats and expands.

3 – They REALLY do have a “Fry an Egg on the Sidewalk” contest annually in Yuma.

4 – Keep water in your trunk so you don’t die if you break down in the boonies.

5 – A harbinger of summer is when “The ice breaks up on the Santa Cruz River.” This is when it first hits 100 degrees…usually April. The Santa Cruz “River” has no water in it except when it rains.

Raised in MI, now in MN. I’ll take MN any day over Tucson or Phoenix.

Roman, that was before the Tar sands boom.
Now we have all of Newfoundland and Nova Scotia here with the smarter half of Ontario.
The Quebecers wanted to come but they can’t read the road signs.
The highways here are now solid ribbons of steel 24/7.
Most of us old timers would kill for what you describe.

You’ll know you’re in Alberta when the lineup to any Tim Hortons is at least a block and half long at midnight.

Cheers
Bob

-- A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner

Great thread rikkor!

The people that live in the Twin Cities area, consider the people from “Da Range” in northern MN, as savages.

-- -** You are never to old to set another goal or to dream a new dream ****************** Dick, & Barb Cain, Hibbing, MN. http://www.woodcarvingillustrated.com/gallery/member.php?uid=3627&protype=1

BOB!!!! lol the smarter half? hmmm how do I interpret that :)

-- "Functional WoodArt" by Debbie, Canada (http://www.execulink.com/~yohan)

Hey Deb, that means pack your bags and get movin! <g>

We have people here delivering parcels (couriers) making $8,000.00 a month and life is a oneway trip.
No let up in the near future either.
One of my friends just imported two temporary drivers from the Phillipines . He has been advertising for hlpe for about a year now.

“Cuda shuda wuda” <vbg>

Cheers
Bob

-- A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner

:)
I own an acre of land. The soil is rich farmland soil. If I need to I can plant the entire thing in garden to provide most of my food.
I’m staying where I am—with all the good, the bad, and the ugly
but I might come visit :) Who knows!!
it is on the way to my son’s home in BC :)

-- "Functional WoodArt" by Debbie, Canada (http://www.execulink.com/~yohan)

Bob,

They’re shipping about 4 truckloads a day of urethane lined pipe from our city to Alberta.

You know your from Minnesota, when snow is in the weather forecast, on the May 15th fishing season opener.

-- -** You are never to old to set another goal or to dream a new dream ****************** Dick, & Barb Cain, Hibbing, MN. http://www.woodcarvingillustrated.com/gallery/member.php?uid=3627&protype=1

Dick Cain said: The people that live in the Twin Cities area, consider the people from “Da Range” in northern MN, as savages.

Jack-pine savages. That’s the best kind.

-- Maplewood, MN

Hey Rikkor, I had to counter this one, come one over and take a trip to Atlanta...

-- Tim D. - Woodstock, GA

“They’re shipping about 4 truckloads a day of urethane lined pipe from our city to Alberta.”

Dick, we do it here too but have exceeded capacity by a big number.
What’s happening here is crazy.

Bob

-- A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner

Hello

-- ..... art for lifes sake ... danwalters@lumberjocks.com

April Fool’s Day is a day for all of us to have some fun and play a few jokes on our friends or even on strangers.

Newspapers, radio stations, and even large companies have their share of fun, as well. The below stories will illustrate what I mean. Thanks, and enjoy!—Alex :-)

April Fool’s Day at Its Best …

Hold Up Your Credit Cards!
Back in the days of the Mattel Cabbage Patch Kid craze it was usually very hard to get one for the kiddies.

A radio station (I don’t know where) announced that Mattel was going to get Cabbage Patch Kids out to the people of this particular city.

The plan was that they had to go to the football field of the local university and wait. An airplane would fly overhead and the dolls would be dropped onto the field.

April Fool’s Day
People were supposed to hold their credit cards up so that a photographer with a telephoto lens in the airplane could get the credit card numbers and charge the price of the dolls to the recipients’ accounts.

People actually showed up, waving American Express cards in the breeze.

Cleaning the Phone Lines!
One radio station prank took place on April Fool’s Day. They announced that the phone company would be cleaning the dirt out of the phone lines that afternoon. They do this, it seems, by blowing air into the wires in the switching station. The problem is that the dirt comes out of the earpiece and mouthpiece of the telephone and could dirty the rugs or furniture in your house.

April Fool’s Day
Consequently, the phone company asks that the good citizens please get plastic bags and put them over the handsets of the telephones to protect their belongings.

Stores reported a run on plastic bags, and the phone company made the radio station retract the original claim.

Draining a Beer Truck
KFMB-AM, a San Diego radio station, announced that a beer truck had jack-knifed and could not be towed away until the beer had been removed from its tank.

April Fool’s Day
Over 100 people showed up at the site where the accident was supposed to have occurred to help drain it.

and last but not least…

Who are the biggest “Fools” of them all?
Can you imagine working at this outfit. It has a little over 500 employees with the following statistics:

29 have been accused of spousal abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad checks

117 have bankrupted at least two businesses

3 have been arrested for assault

71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

April Fool’s Day
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

8 have been arrested for shoplifting

21 are current defendants in lawsuits

In 1998 alone, 84 were stopped for drunk driving.

Yes, you guessed it! It’s the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group that cranks out hundreds of new laws designed to keep the rest of us in line.

-- ..... art for lifes sake ... danwalters@lumberjocks.com