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An interview by Roger...

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Forum topic by degoose posted 05-09-2011 11:41 PM 997 views 0 times favorited 16 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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degoose

7051 posts in 2103 days


05-09-2011 11:41 PM

Topic tags/keywords: humor

For those who missed this on one of the forums… I am re-posting an interview done a while back by Roger… a fellow LJ….although it is not quite as I remember it … the interview is wholly fictional… and in no way reflects the opinion of the webmaster…

“As promised, part 1 of my telephone interview with Degoose. Eat your heart out Ms. Debbie – I got the scoop.”

My interview with Degoose:

Roger: I stayed up into the night waiting for daylight to break in Aussie land so you were awake.

Degoose: Well that’s mighty charitable of yer sport, appreciated.

Roger: What brought you into your woodworking journey?

Degoose: Well I was having a beer or two with Dame Edner Etheridge and she asked me what my bloody tatty old shed was used for. I told her it was a leftover from the prevous owner who used it for playing his digeredoo in but now it was used as a recepticle for old empty Foster’s cans and bottles. She suggested that I might sell the crushed cans and glass bottles for recyling, make myself some money and buy some tools to start a hobby. I though about it and decided I’d give woodworking a try.

Roger: Great. So what inspired you in making your projects?

Degoose: Well mate, The world has a critical shortage of cutting boards, so I figured if I could produce enough of the little buggers to fill the void, then I’d be a rich man and move to a higher end brew.

Roger: And how did your plan work for you?

Degoose: Strewth, couldn’t seem to make enough of them, added some designs for visual impact and before you knew it I was rolling them out like a sausage factory, even the bloody Yanks and Pommy’s were impressed.

Roger: I see that you are now an avid traveller and visit many woodworking related trade fairs, both at home and aboard.

Degoose: True right mate, now that I have a couple of Abos churning out the boards in the shop, I’m free to travel and purchase lots of goodies from unsuspecting woodworkers at shows and sell them as my own work – that’s how I came by the nickname “Lazy Larry”

Roger: Ah, I wondered how that name stuck to you. Has there been any other changes in your life?

Degoose: Well yes, fame has brought fortune to me. Now I get beer delivered by the truck load, I’m helping with a tool invention, and now I’m learning how to make movies.

Roger: Wonderful, so what are your plans for the future?

Degoose: My goal is to make darned sure that everyone in the world has a cutting board with the Lazy Larry logo on it, and after my induction into the Australian Cinematography National Elite or ACNE I’m gonna make a movie about the Great Cutting Board Famine of the late 60’s starring Dame Edna and Russell Crowe.

Roger: I’m sure the world will look forward to that.

Please take this as it was intended .. a little tongue in cheek... a little fun and maybe a little non-PC.... hope you enjoyed it and found it informative and maybe even answered a few questions that you may have wanted to ask but were afraid to…LOL…

-- Drink twice... and don't bother to cut... @ lazylarrywoodworks.com.au For lovers of all things timber...


16 replies so far

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degoose

7051 posts in 2103 days


#1 posted 05-09-2011 11:45 PM

Thanks Roger…

-- Drink twice... and don't bother to cut... @ lazylarrywoodworks.com.au For lovers of all things timber...

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2183 days


#2 posted 05-09-2011 11:53 PM

Good on yer Larry, you are a good sport ….... and need I say it, a real Toff.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

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patron

13171 posts in 2089 days


#3 posted 05-09-2011 11:55 PM

a very in depth interview for sure
and here i thought
you were both passed out for it

that must have come later
and will surely come again

don’t forget to spit out the tops of the bottles
before drinking
the shards take up lot’s of room
in the stomach
although the trips to the loo
is very good exercise
the bruises increase as time goes on
and watch the rings on the tools

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2183 days


#4 posted 05-10-2011 12:08 AM

Larry, you may have missed it, there was an addendum to the “interview” on a non WW topic.
So here, just to add more “insult”......read on

I did leave out some news he gave me about some other non woodworking venture he is embarking on – Wine making!
Apparently he has a vineyard full or sour grapes of which he now produces wine and markets it under “Outback Chateau DeGoose Brut”. It’s a heavy wine and has a bouquet like an Aborigine’s armpit and can be used in hand to hand combat. One glass of it will certainly put you under the table !!!!!
Larry was also voted Vintner of the Year and took first place at the Australian Wino Society’s annual Binge at the Woomera Rocket Range, where Matilda was seen not to waltz, but Hip Hop.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View Kent Shepherd's profile

Kent Shepherd

2698 posts in 2034 days


#5 posted 05-10-2011 12:23 AM

Larry, you are nuts—-that’s why we love you!

-- She thought I hung the moon--now she just thinks I did it wrong

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CharlieM1958

15796 posts in 2966 days


#6 posted 05-10-2011 12:40 AM

Tongue in cheek? You’re just saying that to cover your Aussie arse.

I’d be willing to bet every word of this is true. :-)

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

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Joe Lyddon

7936 posts in 2800 days


#7 posted 05-10-2011 01:42 AM

Funny… ya ole bloke…

-- Have Fun! Joe Lyddon - Alta Loma, CA USA - Home: http://www.WoodworkStuff.net ... My Small Gallery: http://www.ncwoodworker.net/pp/showgallery.php?ppuser=1389&cat=500"

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Karson

34915 posts in 3148 days


#8 posted 05-10-2011 01:52 AM

You mean it’s not the GOSPEL truth.??

I’m Shocked!!!

-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Southern Delaware karson_morrison@bigfoot.com †

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Grumpy

19702 posts in 2599 days


#9 posted 05-10-2011 02:04 AM

Nothin like a Dame Larry. LOL

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

View Stormin's profile

Stormin

192 posts in 1537 days


#10 posted 05-10-2011 02:48 AM

Always like a laugh a day thanks Larry I have a tuckerbag full

-- I started off with nothing I have most of it left

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lanwater

3100 posts in 1682 days


#11 posted 05-10-2011 07:39 AM

How did I miss this one?

Now I know the secret to be a great woodworker: The beer!

Great interview Roger.

-- Abbas, Castro Valley, CA

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Sam Shakouri

1001 posts in 1836 days


#12 posted 05-10-2011 12:13 PM

I’m always “looking for the next thing” of you…I”ll be the first to buy your book.
Well done Roger.

-- Sam Shakouri / CREATING WONDERS WITH WOOD.....Sydney,Australia....

View Jim Bertelson's profile

Jim Bertelson

3685 posts in 1912 days


#13 posted 05-10-2011 06:42 PM

Can’t you be serious, even once?........(-:

Good, I’m glad to hear “serious” is not in your vocabulary.

That interview earns you some free doctor’s advice:

........if you are not in a good mood, chug two beers, and reevaluate. Repeat until self evaluation reveals that you have reached the desired theraputic effect…..or pass out trying. Either endpoint will resolve the bad attitude.

-- Jim, Anchorage Alaska

View Dennisgrosen's profile

Dennisgrosen

10850 posts in 1863 days


#14 posted 05-10-2011 07:48 PM

and if a barrel of Mjød by doktors ordre ain´t
enoff to cure the bad moood we are always ready
to take out the dragonboats and arive for a little
satudaynight fight … woaa-hahahaa

Dennis

View stefang's profile

stefang

13633 posts in 2082 days


#15 posted 05-11-2011 11:15 AM

I can appreciate you reaping the rewards of your success Larry, but I suggest you go easy on all that brew. I’ve noticed a lot of wavy glue lines in your work lately. Thanks for the laugh!

-- Mike, an American living in Norway.

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