LumberJocks

My Next Life (a joke)

  • Advertise with us

« back to Coffee Lounge forum

Forum topic by Joe Lyddon posted 03-12-2018 07:47 PM 507 views 0 times favorited 8 replies Add to Favorites Watch
View Joe Lyddon's profile

Joe Lyddon

10334 posts in 4258 days


03-12-2018 07:47 PM

Topic tags/keywords: joke george carlin george carlin next life a joke

My Next Life
George Carlin (1937 – 2008)

I want to live my next life backwards:
You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then, you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day.

Then, you get kicked out for being too healthy.

Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.

Then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you’re too young to work.

You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party and you’re generally promiscuous.

Then, you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities.

Then, you become a baby, and then… you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in Spa-like conditions – Central heating, room service on tap, and then…

You finish off as an orgasm!

.

.

-- Have Fun! Joe Lyddon - Alta Loma, CA USA - Home: http://www.WoodworkStuff.net ... My Small Gallery: http://www.ncwoodworker.net/pp/showgallery.php?ppuser=1389&cat=500"


8 replies so far

View Ripper70's profile

Ripper70

1165 posts in 1114 days


#1 posted 03-12-2018 09:00 PM

Actually it was Sean Morey who wrote and performed that bit on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson back in 1980. Both Carlin and Woody Allen are often credited with the routine.

-- "You know, I'm such a great driver, it's incomprehensible that they took my license away." --Vince Ricardo

View Joe Lyddon's profile

Joe Lyddon

10334 posts in 4258 days


#2 posted 03-12-2018 09:10 PM



Actually it was Sean Morey who wrote and performed that bit on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson back in 1980. Both Carlin and Woody Allen are often credited with the routine.

- Ripper70

Thank you for the correction!!
... I could just see George Carlin doing that one… Glad that was cleared up… :)

-- Have Fun! Joe Lyddon - Alta Loma, CA USA - Home: http://www.WoodworkStuff.net ... My Small Gallery: http://www.ncwoodworker.net/pp/showgallery.php?ppuser=1389&cat=500"

View Kilo19's profile

Kilo19

99 posts in 431 days


#3 posted 03-12-2018 09:17 PM

LMFAO.!!!!!!!!!!

-- Justin

View Steve's profile

Steve

756 posts in 788 days


#4 posted 03-12-2018 09:21 PM

what was the movie called with brad pitt? the curious case of benjamin button?

View doubleDD's profile

doubleDD

7903 posts in 2249 days


#5 posted 03-12-2018 11:45 PM

My laugh for the day.

-- Dave, Downers Grove, Il. -------- When you run out of ideas, start building your dreams.

View woodbutcherbynight's profile

woodbutcherbynight

5734 posts in 2615 days


#6 posted 03-13-2018 02:10 AM

ROFLMAO, sent this to my Father he enjoyed!!

-- Live to tell the stories, they sound better that way.

View Dark_Lightning's profile

Dark_Lightning

3347 posts in 3315 days


#7 posted 03-13-2018 02:56 AM

Too funny! I’ve always said that I wanted to die at the point of orgasm. Might be problematic for the wife, though.

-- Random Orbital Nailer

View caboxmaker's profile

caboxmaker

281 posts in 594 days


#8 posted 03-13-2018 04:32 AM

Joe, how did the hip replacement go?

Have your say...

You must be signed in to reply.

DISCLAIMER: Any posts on LJ are posted by individuals acting in their own right and do not necessarily reflect the views of LJ. LJ will not be held liable for the actions of any user.

Latest Projects | Latest Blog Entries | Latest Forum Topics

HomeRefurbers.com