|Forum topic by Brit||posted 03-20-2011 07:53 PM||2875 views||3 times favorited||23 replies|
03-20-2011 07:53 PM
What do you do on a Sunday afternoon when your chores are all done, you’ve read all your woodworking blogs and your woodworking fix is still not satisfied? Why you head on over to eBay of course to see if you can find any gems amongst the dross. Filter out the ‘Buy It Now’ items, the ‘New’ items and anything outside the UK (in my case) and then have a look at what you’re left with.
Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll. What a load of crap. I was just about to click close when I heard it. It was very faint, but hear it I did. “Somebody save me!” cried a 6” sweep Skinner brace. I enlarged the pictures. “Please help me, I’m a hard worker and I’m very eco-friendly.”
Looking at the above picture, I could see there was no time to loose. 0 bids with 10 mins remaining! Should I wait until there was only a few seconds left before entering my bid? What if someone else was doing the same thing? Would they nurse Skinner back to health? Could they carry out the necessary treatment to enable him to make a full recovery? I couldn’t chance it. This was a matter of life or death. I decided to enter a low bid to see if anyone else was watching. £2.50 should do it. 5 mins remaining. I was right to test the water as there was someone else watching. £5.50 came the reply. “Don’t worry Skinner, I’ll save you. I won’t let them get you.” I entered £10.53 and waited for the countdown to begin. 10 secs, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, – click Place Bid, click Confirm. The auction ended and I breathed a sigh of relief. Skinner would soon be receiving the treatment he deserved.
A few days later Skinner arrived in an unmarked ambulance. I knew there was no time to waste so I rushed him to the emergency room.
“Stay with me Skinner, hang in there buddy!”
Although his voice was faint, he managed to tell me that his previous owner didn’t think there was anything wrong with him and kept telling him he had ‘a nice patina’.
“I don’t know what ‘a nice patina’ is”, muttered Skinner, “but I don’t feel so good.”
“Skinner” I said, “There’s no easy way to say this, but what you’ve got is NOT ‘a nice patina’, its RUST.”
“Is that bad?” Skinner asked.
“Well I’m not going to BS you buddy. It’s terminal if it isn’t treated in time.”
“Please help me, I don’t want to die. I’ve got so much more to give!” cried Skinner.
“You’re not going to die Skinner. It’s a complex operation, but I’ll see you on the other side.”
I gathered my instruments and scrubbed up.
I liberally applied the first coat of Hammerite Rust Remover gel with an old toothbrush and waited 20 minutes. A gentle scrub with a soft wire brush and a rinse under the tap, saw Skinners pulse grow stronger. The rust had really taken a hold on poor Skinner and he had to endure two more applications of the rust remover gel before the operation was complete. I moved Skinner to the recovery room and returned the next day to check on his progress. He was doing well, but a local application of rust remover gel rubbed in with 0000 steel wool, really brought the smile back to his face.
“Thanks for saving me” Skinner said. “I feel like a new brace!”
“Well you’re not out of the woods yet my friend, but the worst is over. I could only remove the rust from your outer skin and you still have some of that poison inside you. It’s important that you take your 3-IN-ONE medicine regularly and exercise your ratchet until the colour of the oil coming out of you is the same as the colour of the oil going in.”
Two days later Skinner was back to his old self and is now enjoying a new lease of life. He managed to get a job driving big screws in a controlled and precise manner without damaging the heads. After a hard days work, he likes nothing more than a wipe down with an oily rag. He now lives in a log cabin on the south coast of England and can often be seen hanging out with his friends Yankee (2100 12” sweep) and Stanley (923 10” sweep).
Stanley is a quiet unassuming brace who is good at his job and just gets on with it. Yankee is a bit of a show-off and is always boasting about his 12” sweep and smooth ball-bearing ratchet. Stanley puts up with him because he knows Yankee will always take on the hard jobs that he would struggle to do. Skinner just smiles quietly to himself, because he knows that neither Stanley nor Yankee can drive a screw as fast as he can.
Skinner still bears the scars of his ordeal but he doesn’t mind. He’s just glad to be alive.
P.S. – I really must get out more.
-- Andy -- I don't mind going to work. It's the 8 hour wait to go home that I don't much care for.