Ripped Off by People I Trusted...

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Forum topic by poopiekat posted 02-20-2011 11:13 PM 2129 views 1 time favorited 24 replies Add to Favorites Watch
View poopiekat's profile


4188 posts in 3154 days

02-20-2011 11:13 PM

Going on 15 years now…but I still remember as if it was yesterday. I became separated from my soon-to-be ex after 18 years of a deteriorating relationship. After hearing from her lawyer advising me to pick up the balance of my personal effects, I was astounded by what had somehow ‘disappeared’. Sure enough, with my truck and trailer at the door, I began to tally what should have been there, and what wasn’t. My Husqvarna chain saw, several Weed-eater cordless and gas weed whackers, contractor’s wheelbarrow, wood splitter, pavement-striping tool, trolling motor, chain fall, deep-cycle batteries, tow chains, cement mixer, barrels of scrap copper, and dozens of other items of value, all taken presumably by my in-laws. Oddly, the only things missing from my woodworking workshop were a Milwaukee Sawzall and a Shop-Vac. At the time, we still had not negotiated on the real estate ,I knew better than to get a battle brewing before that was settled! I’m not bitter, my life nowadays with my new wife is a dream come true; but every now and then something reminds me of those dark days of long ago. My question is: Have YOU ever been taken advantage of, or had things stolen from you from people you thought you could trust?

-- Einstein: "The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." I'm Poopiekat!!

24 replies so far

View Cosmicsniper's profile


2202 posts in 2578 days

#1 posted 02-20-2011 11:36 PM

Trust goes out the window long before a marriage ends. At that point, it’s about self-preservation.

I’ve never been robbed like that, but I have had jobs and relationships turn out bad despite my overwhelming loyalty over the years.

-- jay,

View Junkorgem's profile


4 posts in 2072 days

#2 posted 02-20-2011 11:39 PM

Hello! Yes, I have lost valuable tools. Not that many, but some. I have loaned stuff out and never had it returned. I also had a boss take some items from my toolbox. He was a douchebag. And I once had to chase down my mig welder after loaning it to an “inlaw”. He assumed it would be ok to loan it to his friend. I went to pick it up right away. I don’t loan stuff anymore unless I’m sure that the person would be responsible for replacement.

View Jim Finn's profile

Jim Finn

2390 posts in 2342 days

#3 posted 02-21-2011 12:13 AM

Wow! You got off cheap! I lost my wood working tools, house, car, furniture, and 1/2 of my pension in my divorce. All I got to keep where my clothes and the other 1/2 of MY pension.. Started over…...nothing else to do.

-- "You may have your PHD but I have my GED and my DD 214"

View lew's profile


11263 posts in 3175 days

#4 posted 02-21-2011 12:40 AM

Don’t even get me started on this one!

Needless to say a “friend” of many years asked for my help- which I gladly supplied- and then after getting everything he could abandoned all his debts/responsibilities. I got off cheaper during my divorce.

-- Lew- Time traveler. Purveyor of the Universe's finest custom rolling pins.

View dakremer's profile


2583 posts in 2511 days

#5 posted 02-21-2011 12:47 AM

too be we didnt have the coffee lounge anymore! This would be a perfect conversation for that area!!

I am young in my years. I have not had any major “screw overs.” Although, seeing how I’m a poor college kid, with hardly anything to my name….its kind of hard TO screw me over!! :) hopefully it’ll never happen!

-- Hey you dang woodchucks, quit chucking my wood!!!!

View Gregn's profile


1642 posts in 2403 days

#6 posted 02-21-2011 12:56 AM

I think there are more people that get taken advantage in the loaning of tools and sports equipment to some so called friends. I had a friend who actually broke into my house and stole some of my guns 30 years ago. And I’m not in the habit anymore of loaning out tools or sports equipment to those who I don’t have access to get my property.

I have been on the receiving end of bad marriages where the wife has had me clean out the garages of soon to be ex spouses. Giving me what ever I found for payment of cleaning out the garage. I’ve made some good money doing it and the pawn shops didn’t mind receiving a lot of items. So I can imagine how ticked off those ex’s were to see their stuff in a pawn shop. I always made sure that the wife signed a statement of the items I received in payment for prove that the items weren’t stolen. I couldn’t begin to tell you how many mechanic tools I sold or gave away.

So I can understand how this may come up from time to time. I know I sometimes think back to those special jobs, and remember thinking man is this guy going to be ticked. But when your a handyman you do whatever jobs you can get to support your family also. Now I worry about the Ol’ Lady borrowing out my toys to the kids. I trust my wife but I still keep the keys to the sheds. Thinking of that goes around comes around thing.

-- I don't make mistakes, I have great learning lessons, Greg

View CharlieM1958's profile


16229 posts in 3638 days

#7 posted 02-21-2011 03:55 AM

Poopie, I have a feeling your ex and Gregn know each other. :-)

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View danr's profile


154 posts in 2605 days

#8 posted 02-21-2011 04:29 AM

I have always been told “It’s cheaper to keep her”. I’m keeping mine.

View HorizontalMike's profile


7064 posts in 2334 days

#9 posted 02-21-2011 04:30 AM

Funny how after “18 years” you still had all those things labeled as YOURS. That explains it all to me. You were lucky to get as much of the woodworking workshop as you did.

-- HorizontalMike -- "Woodpeckers understand..."

View TexasTimbers's profile


67 posts in 3235 days

#10 posted 02-21-2011 04:31 AM

I think your view of life will change over time. If “stuff” is all she took from you, she didn’t get anything.

-- "Sure, listen to what the experts have to say, just don't let it get in the way of your woodworking."

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2855 days

#11 posted 02-21-2011 05:11 AM

Things that have affected you deeply are never too far off in your mind, and yes then can appear to be only yesterday because your mind has a snapshot ready to remind you of that troubled time.
I had a work friend who said he needed to take off some times because his wife was argueing with him.
Then I arrived home one time from work (plus extra hours covering him) to find my house empty. I was worried sick and thought may family (wife and 3 children) had been in an accident or the children had been taken ill. I called everyone, police, hospitals and drove around all night.
Then I learned that my work friend and my wife had run off together and left the children with her parents -who I did not get on with. Weeks went by, I was totally beside myself with ALL the painfull and humiliating circumstances. I worried for my children who I found were ill, their mother was not taking care of them,so was gone.
In England at that time the law did not see the father as a suitable person to raise children (the law has changed since), so I was not prepared to have their nasty grandparents raise them. So when I got the chance to have my children for a visit, I drove them to my wife’s uncle/aunt and grandmother’s house, then he drove us to Heathrow Airport and I flew off to Africa with my kids – aged 6, 4 and 18 months where English Law did not exist. With $150 and 4 suitaces I started afresh, I didn’t know anyone there but got a job the next day.
Later I engaged a lawyer to sue in High Court for a divorce Internationally and Sole Custody and Guardianship of my children. My wife was served 3 times for the case but never responded, so I won everything I wanted.
After living in Africa for almost 4 years, I was invited to apply for a teaching job in the US, for which I was subsequently chosen, so we moved again to the US, where we remain in a our adopted country.
I never dated while my children were in school, but when the last one finished high school, I took the plunge. Believing and trusting were my greatest hangups and I decided to quit dating. Then I met someone who was just OK with friendship and not fishing for a marriage guppy. It was 3 years before we actually “got together” and a year later we mariied. I was very hard for me to trust anyone again, but gradually I found that I could trust her and she knew very well that she could trust me.
That concern and trust showed itself abudanatly over the past 3 years while I have been ill, Sandra has been everything and everybody to me and I have literally trusted her with my life.

If you think that people who steal you tools and posesstions hurt you, remember they are only material things, and although missed, they can be replaced, remember other people do NOT share the same principles you have.
When I took off, I left a house, car and everything I owned, without hesitation because I know I did the right thing and saved what was important. I found peace after a very long time “in the wilderness”.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View jusfine's profile


2405 posts in 2346 days

#12 posted 02-21-2011 05:22 AM

Thanks for sharing Roger!

I am so glad you did the right thing!

-- Randy "You are judged as much by the questions you ask as the answers you give..."

View BobE's profile


28 posts in 2372 days

#13 posted 02-21-2011 07:11 AM

“My question is: Have YOU ever been taken advantage of, or had things stolen from you from people you thought you could trust?”

In my experience those people you trust will take advantage of you or steal your crap with more regularity than anyone else, and if it isn’t them then it is somebody who they know. Other people simply don’t know who you are, where you’re at, or what you got…
I hardly ever loan out anything especially anything I depend on. Four out of five times things will turn up missing or come back broken; damaged or otherwise abused showing the person using it has 0 respect for it and you.

View bluekingfisher's profile


1246 posts in 2400 days

#14 posted 02-21-2011 04:09 PM

I know in real terms it was only material gain (on her part) and the objects taken will propbably have little effect on your life long term but can you imagine how things would have turned out if the roles had been reversed?? All hell could have broken lose and the real price could have been paid had you been dragged through the courts.

I had a similar experience. After only 5 years of marriage and despite supporting her through college she took the house from me (even though it was mine before I met her) Of course it was my own fault, she was training to be a lawyer.

My only and ultimate consolation is I understand from mutual friends she is now desperately unhappy….Oh dear, what a shame, never mind! How rich happiness can make you.

-- No one plans to fail, they just, just fail to plan

View poopiekat's profile


4188 posts in 3154 days

#15 posted 02-21-2011 05:50 PM

Horizontal: I never said that I got exactly HALF of our possessions, in fact,far from it!....I certainly would not have even considered starting this thread if that was the case. You missed the point entirely. My stuff had been plundered before the settlement. So comments such as yours are simply hindsight. Life is grand now, and I am entitled to it after 18 years of slow descent into hell. These days, I cherish every moment of living, in my new life of mutual love, devotion and respect. Plus, I discovered how by forgiving her has set me free, while she, like the person ’bluekingfisher’ wrote about, still lives in misery. Roger is in the same boat as I am, only with ten times the pain. His words have been very helpful to me, banishing all those hideous nightmares of the past, gone for good. I understand how he hung onto what was really important in the face of hard times. Ultimately, it makes us stronger persons!

-- Einstein: "The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." I'm Poopiekat!!

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