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Forum topic by Bob #2 posted 2347 days ago 5808 views 0 times favorited 115 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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Bob #2

3808 posts in 2623 days


2347 days ago

Topic tags/keywords: humor

I notice there are a number of practicing Christians here so I thought this little smile might help cheer you up as well a perhaps scare the rest of us. <g>

An atheist was walking through the woods.

“What majestic trees”!
“What powerful rivers”!
“What beautiful animals”!
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, “Oh my God!”
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. “You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don’t exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.” “Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer”?
The atheist looked directly into the light, “It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian”?

“Very Well,” said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke: ”Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.”

-- A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner


115 replies so far

View rikkor's profile

rikkor

11295 posts in 2476 days


#1 posted 2347 days ago

Amen.

View pyromedic602's profile

pyromedic602

164 posts in 2349 days


#2 posted 2347 days ago

Amen. I loved it.

-- Pyromedic602, free wood is always good wood

View Scott Bryan's profile

Scott Bryan

27251 posts in 2423 days


#3 posted 2347 days ago

Thanks Bob. You made my day.

-- Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful- Joshua Marine

View Tony's profile

Tony

978 posts in 2631 days


#4 posted 2347 days ago

Most excellent

-- Tony - All things are possible, just some things are more difficult than others! - SKYPE: Heron2005 (http://www.poydatjatuolit.fi)

View Alphie's profile

Alphie

39 posts in 2387 days


#5 posted 2344 days ago

Hilarious. Thanks.

-- Tom, Michigan ~ Working with a renewable resource called wood

View TheCaver's profile

TheCaver

288 posts in 2441 days


#6 posted 2344 days ago

I sure wish that people would keep their religious views in church rather than on hobbyist forums.

I wonder how you would feel if I suggested that a priest should be killed in the name of atheism. I find it shocking how people are allowed to spew their religious beliefs at will yet expect some boundary to be honored because of their belief system, whether it be God, Jesus, Allah, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Please refrain from posting this crap in the future….

Thanks,

JC

-- Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. -Carl Sagan

View Napaman's profile

Napaman

5315 posts in 2678 days


#7 posted 2344 days ago

I thought it was funny….regardless of my views. Coffee lounge is to expand beyong woodworking…to get to know each other…in other ways…does not give the green light to offend anyone…but of course what offends some wont offend others…so I understand why JC may be upset…but…i think if we cant laugh together and talk about life…we might as well not come together at all…just my two cents…

-- Matt--Proud LJ since 2007

View PanamaJack's profile

PanamaJack

4469 posts in 2679 days


#8 posted 2344 days ago

Can I get you to shout Halleluiah for me?? Amen y’all!

Nice one Bob. One needs it on a Monday sometimes.

You know if you don’t like it, you don’t have to read it…..

-- Carpe Lignum; Tornare Lignum (Seize the wood, to Turn the wood)

View Bob #2's profile

Bob #2

3808 posts in 2623 days


#9 posted 2344 days ago

JC you missed the intent and the context of the original post , perhaps because you cant read or just didn’t comprehend.
Go back to the first sentence and have somebody read it to you.

Bob

-- A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner

View jcees's profile

jcees

946 posts in 2400 days


#10 posted 2344 days ago

I think I’ll change my initials after reading TheCaver’s response. And they say Christians have no sense of humor! And while I don’t think it’s anyone’s business what I believe, I will just this once to tell you what I don’t believe. I don’t believe any form of intolerance will make anyone a better woodworker.

always,
B.L. Zeebub
aka the artist formerly known as J.C.

-- When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world. -- John Muir

View TomK 's profile

TomK

504 posts in 2476 days


#11 posted 2344 days ago

The nice thing about forums, is, if you don’t like a post, you can just pass it by. Go back to your cave JC, stay in my life Jesus Christ.

-- If you think healthcare is expensive now, wait until it's free! PJ O'Rourke

View MsDebbieP's profile

MsDebbieP

18615 posts in 2762 days


#12 posted 2344 days ago

points of view come from all directions..

-- ~ Debbie, Canada (https://www.facebook.com/DebbiePribeleENJOConsultant)

View BroDave's profile

BroDave

107 posts in 2415 days


#13 posted 2344 days ago

I find it incredible that the mention of Christianity can infuriate someone who claims there is no God.
I agree with you Tom, and Bob #2

-- .

View forkboy's profile

forkboy

48 posts in 2376 days


#14 posted 2344 days ago

while anti-atheist jokes aren’t really to my liking, this is the “coffee lounge” jc.. so I guess its fine.. although, I’m not sure how an anti-Christian joke would go down :P probably should chill though jc, you are giving us atheists a bad name :)

-- Perth, Australia

View Thos. Angle's profile

Thos. Angle

4435 posts in 2564 days


#15 posted 2344 days ago

I’m Mormon. Want to hear a few Mormon jokes? I collect them. Good joke, Bob. If you don’t like it, leave it. But I don’t care who you are, don’t try to tell some one to shut up on this forum. Got it?

-- Thos. Angle, Jordan Valley, Oregon

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