Oh, yee of little faith - hear this!

Amen.

-- Maplewood, MN

Amen. I loved it.

-- Pyromedic602, free wood is always good wood

Thanks Bob. You made my day.

-- With God's help all things are possible- even woodworking. Woodworking is not just a hobby, it is an (expletive deleted) expensive hobby.

Most excellent

-- Tony - All things are possible, just some things are more difficult than others! - SKYPE: Heron2005 (http://www.poydatjatuolit.fi)

Hilarious. Thanks.

-- Tom, Michigan ~ Working with a renewable resource called wood

I sure wish that people would keep their religious views in church rather than on hobbyist forums.

I wonder how you would feel if I suggested that a priest should be killed in the name of atheism. I find it shocking how people are allowed to spew their religious beliefs at will yet expect some boundary to be honored because of their belief system, whether it be God, Jesus, Allah, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Please refrain from posting this crap in the future….

Thanks,

JC

-- Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. -Carl Sagan

I thought it was funny….regardless of my views. Coffee lounge is to expand beyong woodworking…to get to know each other…in other ways…does not give the green light to offend anyone…but of course what offends some wont offend others…so I understand why JC may be upset…but…i think if we cant laugh together and talk about life…we might as well not come together at all…just my two cents…

-- Matt, Napa, CA...SING WITH ME: "Sum...sum...sum...summ...summ...summ...summertime..."

Can I get you to shout Halleluiah for me?? Amen y’all!

Nice one Bob. One needs it on a Monday sometimes.

You know if you don’t like it, you don’t have to read it…..

-- Carpe Lignum - Seize The Wood,

JC you missed the intent and the context of the original post , perhaps because you cant read or just didn’t comprehend.
Go back to the first sentence and have somebody read it to you.

Bob

-- A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner

I think I’ll change my initials after reading TheCaver’s response. And they say Christians have no sense of humor! And while I don’t think it’s anyone’s business what I believe, I will just this once to tell you what I don’t believe. I don’t believe any form of intolerance will make anyone a better woodworker.

always,
B.L. Zeebub
aka the artist formerly known as J.C.

-- "Imagination is more important than knowledge" -- Albert Einstein

The nice thing about forums, is, if you don’t like a post, you can just pass it by. Go back to your cave JC, stay in my life Jesus Christ.

-- North Texas

points of view come from all directions..

-- "Functional WoodArt" by Debbie, Canada (http://www.execulink.com/~yohan)

I find it incredible that the mention of Christianity can infuriate someone who claims there is no God.
I agree with you Tom, and Bob #2

-- .

while anti-atheist jokes aren’t really to my liking, this is the “coffee lounge” jc.. so I guess its fine.. although, I’m not sure how an anti-Christian joke would go down :P probably should chill though jc, you are giving us atheists a bad name :)

-- Perth, Australia

I’m Mormon. Want to hear a few Mormon jokes? I collect them. Good joke, Bob. If you don’t like it, leave it. But I don’t care who you are, don’t try to tell some one to shut up on this forum. Got it?

-- Thos. Angle, Owyhee Design, Oregon

A forum is a place for sharing opinions, even ones that I may or may not agree with. I recognize that we have Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, and others in this group, and some may be offended by postings that do or do not have religious connotations.

The only postings that I would object to would be ones that purposely insult or threaten others with malice. When I see a posting that has nothing to do with me, I just walk on to the next one that does.

-- making sawdust....

I was not brought up with any religion, I believe in the good of people and thats why I like this site, all you people are good. If I don’t like it I walk on, I thought it was funny. Some people look to be offended so they can complain, I look for the good in people so I can compliment.

-- Ron Central, CA

”Some people look to be offended so they can complain, I look for the good in people so I can compliment.”

Well said Ron.

-- If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a darn fool about it.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.
The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”
The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.”
The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?”
Her mother replied, “Well, every time that one of my kids does something wrong and makes me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
“Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, He’s a doctor.’
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.”

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.”
“Yes,” the class said.
“Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?”
A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
“Take only ONE . God is watching.”
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

-- http://www.furnituremann.ca/

I would never have posted this little smile had I thought for an instant that it would hurt anyone’s feeling or incite anyone to react in a negative manner.
It is a woodworking forum and the topics are for the most part wood related. As a matter of fact this place has an enviable group of fine craftsmen and women and a load of excellent information along with step by step procedures.

It also seems to have a “coffee lounge” where one expects to relax a bit and get to know each other.
Amusing stories about life’s journey abound in our culture and rarely are they pointed to injure other people.

(I am leaving out racist remarks and deliberate promiscuous religious debating)
We all know they bring no joy.

I thought my joke was one of those depicting one of life’s journeys and had a unique twist or double intend at the end. Quite frankly it has no religous connotation but deals with the philosophical question of the universe. ( The prescence or absence of a diety)

My apologies to any one that felt hurt by this.
I will probably keep posting things that make me smile here just as I keep posting woodworking information.
I will continue to apologise for both I guess.

Bob

-- A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner

Bob, you are 8889 posts behind Debbie, you better post faster. You won’t be able to keep up if you have to constantly apologize.

-- "Bordnerizing" perfectly good lumber for over a decade.

I give you an A+ for your humor, Bob.

The area I live, is abundant with ethnic jokes,

& the people get along great.

-- Dick Cain, Hibbing, MN. http://www.woodcarvingillustrated.com/gallery/member.php?uid=3627&protype=1

I rarely look to see where something is posted ( blog, project, technical forum, coffee lounge) and when I see something like this I think “Oh.. coffee lounge…. just some funnin’ around” and then I choose whether I want to read on or not. (Usually read something at least once and decide whether I’ll come back or not to read the comments.

-- "Functional WoodArt" by Debbie, Canada (http://www.execulink.com/~yohan)

Bob, I appreciate very much your last post. Just for the record, I am not offended in any way by the original post, though I am a ‘militant’ atheist, a term coined by Richard Dawkins, not meant to be taken literally.

As many have said, sure this is the lounge and sometimes outer interests get discussed on the site, of course I have no issue with that. My point of contention is that discussion of religious always tends to incite non-resolving debate and makes a LOT of people uncomfortable. Mostly because, IMHO, religiousness tends to believe that it must spread itself, whereas most atheists just go about their lives not thinking that they have to convert other folks or ‘spread fear’ as you mention in the OP.

In any case, it takes a man to post what you did in your last post and not jump on the bandwagon and continue to bash others beliefs. You took a moment to recognize other peoples feelings and in todays world, thats a remarkable thing which I salute you for. I understand that it was not your intention to cause harm or disruption, and I in turn apologize for my scathing reply to such.

Warmest regards,

JC

-- Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. -Carl Sagan

True, this is the lounge and as such it is here for discussion of things other than woodworking. Opinions, and beliefs are as varied and abundant as types of wood and techniques to work it. So now that everyone has kissed and made up I can put my tinfoil hat on and get into my clown suit so I can worship the god that lives in the old coffee can in my garage..

-- Women love me.....trees fear me

Wait a minute! Thos is Mormon?

-- If knowledge is not shared, it is forgotten.

Bob and JC

I commend you both for your latest posts on this thread. One reason why this website is so great.

-- Phillip -- Molino,Florida "I didn't cut it too short, I'm just making changes!"

…whereas most atheists just go about their lives not thinking that they have to convert other folks or ‘spread fear’…

I am not trying to continue a war here, but I have to take exception to that statement. Atheists are going so far as to try to take “In God We Trust”, the national motto off the money, prevent the use of the word “Christmas” at Christmas, remove “Under God” from the pledge of allegiance, and many other attempts to impose their beliefs on everyone regardless of their beliefs.

-- Maplewood, MN

I believe those are constitutional issues, not religious issues. The folks trying to remove those religious references are not necessarily atheists, they are the ACLU.

-- Mark

yah, let’s not start a war. That wouldn’t be fun

-- "Functional WoodArt" by Debbie, Canada (http://www.execulink.com/~yohan)

rikkor : You have posted exactly my thoughts on this. I say this is the reason the world is
in the mess it is. No discipline in schools or at home . Religion can not even be talked of in schools.
The pledge of allegiance leaves out under god if they even bother with it. As a vet all this disturbers
me terribly ! Guess I`m just the wrong generation . As for above post, We all need a bit of humor
now and then . I enjoy the stories and see no reason for anyone to take affence .

Ageingwood

-- Ageingwood - artsplae1@msn.com No time , retired

Thanks for that clarification Mark.

This country was NOT founded on Christianity, if you believe that, or if you don’t know that In God We Trust was added to our money during the cold war, well after this country was founded by SECULARISTS. I also suggest you read any of our founding fathers books…while some of them were theists, the majority could be classified as aetheist. Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, Thomas Paine, John Adams, etc.

“As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion”
—George Washington, Treaty of Tripoli

Add to that list later in history, Abe Lincoln, Ben Franklin, Susan Anthony, and MANY others who have had a tremendous impact on this country….

Indeed, let’s not get into that argument. I have spent many years researching and reading on this topic (from both sides)....I wager from the above statements that not even a simple Google search was performed before commenting….

Regards,

JC

-- Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. -Carl Sagan

Soo, a woman walks into a bar. She has had the worst day and wants to relax with a drink before the commute (train ride) home. The only other people in the bar are the bartender and a guy at the end of the bar. Wanting a little company, she sat next to the guy and asked what he was drinking. “Magic beer” he says. Suprised, she asks “what is magic beer?” The man says “I’ll show you”. He takes a swig of his beer and walks over to the door and leaps into the air and flies down the street and back. He lands in the doorway, walks over to his stool, sits down next to the woman and says “that is magic beer”!
Completely flabergasted, the woman says “bartender, I want a magic beer”. He pours it and slides it down to her, where upon she guzzles half of it down and runs to the doorway. In a rather animated gesture, she swings her arms back, then forward and leaps into the air… and then slams down onto the concrete sidewalk.
Shaking his head, the bartender leans over to the man and says, “you know, your a real jerk when you drink, Superman”.

Get ready for all the people to complain about superman jokes… hehe

Tom

-- Anybody can become a woodworker, but only a Craftsman can hide his mistakes.

BTW… In God we trust… all others pay cash!

-- Anybody can become a woodworker, but only a Craftsman can hide his mistakes.

I’m not taking any sides on this topic and sure don’t want to get in the middle ….... but, the way I see it. A joke…. is a joke. And the majority of jokes are going to upset someone… some where.

-- Make things with wood.

as the famous Rodney King once said…... CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG ?

-- Adrian ..... The 11th Commandment...."Thou Shalt Not Buy A Wobble Dado"

So, a priest, a rabbi, and a transvestite all walk into a tool store…

I’ve got a great “My name is…” joke but you really have to see the facial features to appreciate it…
so I can’t add to the jokes.

-- "Functional WoodArt" by Debbie, Canada (http://www.execulink.com/~yohan)

Well, now that we are all on the same Pages! <vbg>

Bob

-- A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner

A blonde calls 911 screaming that her house is on fire

The dispatcher asks her, “Ma’am, how do we get to you house”

And the blonde said, “Duh, In the big red truck”.

-- Adrian ..... The 11th Commandment...."Thou Shalt Not Buy A Wobble Dado"

Bob and all. A laugh a day keeps the frowns away. Keep them coming. This web site was predicated on us all becoming family. We share in all things. The good and the bad. And we have fun.

Keep the fun coming.

And Thomas we welcome Mormons here also, I used to be an RLDS.

-- Karson Southern Delaware karson_morrison@bigfoot.com

Only Beautifull people on LumberJocks need apply.

-- Carpe Lignum - Seize The Wood,

I am a Christian and I like to hear what woodworkers have to say about themselves. It gives me a better understanding of them when we are sharing our thoughts about a woodworking project, etc. We all are different and I think we can all agree to disagree and still enjoy the common bond we have in woodworking.

-- Ron in Osseo, Minnesota

Alright, I’ll bite AGAIN. Being I was raised in an evangelical household [insert facial tic], here’s one that other Southern Baptists might appreciate.

How many Baptists do you take fishing with you?

Two.

If you take just one, he’ll drink all of your beer. If you take two, they won’t drink any!

always,
J.C.

P.S. Religions are paradigms through which an adherent uses to view the world. Like a picture frame. True believers unfortunately sometimes adopt the smallest frames. So whether you’re a deist, theist or just confused, check the size of thine own frame AND understand that your frame [of reference] is just that.

-- "Imagination is more important than knowledge" -- Albert Einstein

Disclaimer: This is a joke, not intended to influence anyones personal beliefs.

Why do Baptists not make love standing up?
They are afraid someone might see them and think they are dancing.

-- Maplewood, MN

Dad told me long ago that there are two things in life that you should never argue about…Religion and Politics. I think now that, his reasons were because either one opens up a major can of worms, with both resulting in a never ending conflict.

One thing for certain though is that we are all 100% on board with this forum. We’re here because it’s fun, and really…that’s all that counts. So keep the jokes coming guys.

Unfortunately my head is in the gutter and all I can think of right now are dirty jokes. Since we have kids present, I’ll hold off on those.

-- Bob Vila would be so proud of you!

Dadoo—- do you know any dirty religious jokes involving politicians?

;)

I don’t know… is “dirty” and “politicians” redundant?

-- Maplewood, MN

-- if you aint the lead dog the scenery never changes

Now, yer gonna get it Mr. T. <g>

Bob

-- A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner

This is too funny. And for the record… God doesn’t believe in Athiests.

Yet Jesus died for them… that’s kind of ironic.

-- http://ye-olde-cabinet-shoppe.com/

Thanks all, I needed a good laugh. Mr Trim, I love it…my wife probably wouldn’t, but I love it!

-- Check out my new blog "The Renaissance Woodworker" at www.rogersfinewoodworking.com/blog

in case anyone needs it the volume button is in the lower left hand corner !! lol

-- if you aint the lead dog the scenery never changes

A nun badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a
> local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud
> conversation, and every once in a while the lights would
> turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would
> erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun,
> the room went dead silent.
>
> She walked up to the bartender, and asked, “May I please use
> the restroom?”
>
> The bartender replied, “OK, but I should warn you that there
> is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig
> leaf.”
>
> “Well, in that case I’ll just look the other way,” said the
> nun.
>
> So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the
> restaurant. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the
> whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud
> round of applause.
>
> She went to the bartender and said, “Sir, I don’t
> understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went
> to the restroom?”
>
> “Well, now they know you’re one of us,” said the bartender.
> “Would you like a drink?”
>
> “But, I still don’t understand,” said the puzzled nun.
>
> “You see,” laughed the bartender, “every time someone lifts
> the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.”

-- if you aint the lead dog the scenery never changes

That is funny Mr T. funny I say.

-- Adrian ..... The 11th Commandment...."Thou Shalt Not Buy A Wobble Dado"

Well, I’ll tell you I am a Christian and I live by the word of the Bible. Sometimes its not easy, but I do.

Every morning at my home, we make coffee. I woke my wife up yesterday and said “honey, get up its your turn to make coffee”.
She replied by saying, “I was reading my bible today and its states in the bible that I don’t have to make coffee anymore”.
She then said, “by the way, I am not making coffee anymore in the morning because the bible states that its your job, not mine”.
Remind you that this debate is going on at 4:45 am.
I got up and made coffee and 40 minutes later she came out to have coffee.
I said to her “get your bible and show me where it says you don’t have to make coffee anymore”.
She got her bible out and flipped to a certain book and said “here you go, right there”.

I looked down and she pointed to the book ”HEBREW”! :)

I don’t care what religion you are, that is funny!!!

-- Jeff, Indiana

I agree to disagree but I won’t say with who…

-- making sawdust....

GIT-R-DONE

-- if you aint the lead dog the scenery never changes

That looks dangerous!!!!

-- Thos. Angle, Owyhee Design, Oregon

One day we will all be dead and very little will matter. Be nice to others do a favor for someone cut the other guy some slack. Don’t drive like an assH*

I died in a dream once and the only thought I had as I died was “now I will really know what is one the other side”

Life is short, be careful, don’t cut any body parts off <grin> (I wonder how a moyle would feel about that comments :)) I guess no mater what you say someone will take offense <laugh>

-- "so much to learn and so little time"..

Woman of the year…..............

KIDDING

-- http://www.furnituremann.ca/

Canadian Coast Guard

-- http://www.furnituremann.ca/

i dont have any connection to this company , i just thought it was funny since my bird often says wasss-up !

-- if you aint the lead dog the scenery never changes

The photo above reminds me of a story I heard a long time ago. A tourist was driving across the reservation. On the side of the road he observed an old Indian gentleman riding along on his horse. Behind him walked a woman, obviously his wife. The tourist was incensed by this lack of sensitivity. He stopped and walked up to the the man on the horse. ” Why don’t you let your wife ride?” he demanded. The old fellow looked around and replied, “Wife no got horse.”

-- Thos. Angle, Owyhee Design, Oregon

Bob-
I liked your post as did many but not all. Jesus was a carpenter. The USA was founded by Christians. God gave everyone the right to serve Him or not believe in Him. It is always funny to me how people who drink want to attack me when I don’t order a drink or people who don’t believe in God attack me because I do. And these same people talk about tolerance? I have never tried to force my beliefs on any one but I don’t think talking about what I believe should threaten anyone.

-- woodsmith

the male/female switches is the funniest ever!!! I’m still laughing.
Dang.. I wish I knew what all my buttons were for :)

Woodsmith- you are so right. Tolerance is a two-way street (or multi-road intersection). As long as someone’s ACTIONS (words included) do not harm others or take away their rights (which are also not harming others) then I really have to question any judgments or ill-thoughts.

That reminds me of an online psych test I took once… Acceptance/Tolerance 98% ... exploration… 2%.
Ha… it’s all ok to me.. I’ve just never done any of it lol

-- "Functional WoodArt" by Debbie, Canada (http://www.execulink.com/~yohan)

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.
The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”
The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.

-- Ageingwood - artsplae1@msn.com No time , retired

After losing two brothers in WWII and spending 3 years in the European theater of combat before being wounded and sent home himself at the ripe old age of 18, my Dad said he never met an atheist while in the service. I’m sure he met thousands of other troops. He saw the Normanday Landing, He was with the 99th infantry at the Battle of the Bulge and was wounded at Remagen. He said he heard guys crying for their mama or God, when they were dying, but never did they cry for nothing. mike

-- Mike. Profisher50@yahoo.com

Picking on the Indian Thos.? Can’t be a Christian here, now Can’t be Indian either. Can I still be a vet that fought for All of our Freedoms in America???

Through our history my ancestors & yours still speak of the time Columbus discovered My backyard!!!!!
FYI, Thanksgiving was actually a going away dinner, the pilgrims mistook our wave as an invite :):)
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THIS IS A JOKE< SO THAT NO ONE WILL BE OFFENDED!!
SOOOOOOO< there was this indian, rabbi, atheist, & white guy…...........

-- Pretzel L8agn

oops….. forgot to add the all the other ethnic groups to the joke. Please feel free to complete.

-- Pretzel L8agn

SAINT FRANCIS OF ASSISI once said: In all circumstances witness, when only necessary, open your mouth. Sawdust anyone??

-- Anchul - Warrensburg, MO: As a Pastor, I am just trying to get closer to Jesus. He was a woodworker too.

Might as well chime in…...

Does anyone know the three great religious truths?

1) Jews don’t see Jesus as the son of God
2) Protestants don’t see the pope as the leader of Christianity.
3) Baptists don’t see each other in the liquor store.

And just to add a little fuel to the fire…. For what it’s worth, JC, I’m not very much on religion myself, but I look at a lot of things as questions of majority rule. If most people want “In God We Trust” printed on the money, then so be it.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

One of my two favourite buttons says:
“I don’t have a problem with God; it’s his fan club I can’t stand”

And to save you asking, the other one is:
“If I’d known grandchildren were so much fun I would have had them first”

-- Daibach on the Wet Coast

I may not agree with what you say, but I will fight to my death for your right to say it . Thomas Paine, Founder Father.

TOLERANCE for ALL.

-- Bill - - Ad-Marketing Guy, Ramsey NJ

Do you know the difference between a Baptist and Methodist????
The Methodist will say hello neighbor in the liquor store!

How many Lutherans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one. He stands there and holds the light bulb, and the earth revolves around him.

-- You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. (Plato)

To each his/her own on the religious and political front. Bottom line though, it doesn’t matter how small your boat is, if you’ve got a 50 Cal. mounted in the bow, I’m sure you get your due respect.

-- "Bordnerizing" perfectly good lumber for over a decade.

A stripper, a rabbi, and Norm Abrams walk into a Woodcraft store…

-- Women love me.....trees fear me

(add to above in Brad Nailor’s post) Along comes Toolman Taylor and Bob Vila…....... To Be Continued

-- Pretzel L8agn

Bob, Tim, and Norm look at the stripper and simultaneously exclaim, “I sure would like to screw her!”

And the rabbi replies “Out of what?”

(Hope no one is offended, but I couldn’t pass up the opening.)

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…oh Charlie! Oh my!

-- You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. (Plato)

Now THAT is some funny stuff!... I’m glad I’m not standing next to you Charlie… lol…

-- As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17)

I’ve been struck by so many bolts all the hair is burned off the top.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

That lightning bolt seemed to have flattened the top of your head Charlie..

Heres the punchline to the start of the joke..everyone fill in the rest on your own..
So, the Rabbi turns to Norm and says…” Planer…I don’t even know her”...

-- Women love me.....trees fear me