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What is the stupidest project you had to do?

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Forum topic by Jacksdad posted 07-25-2017 03:20 PM 1657 views 0 times favorited 24 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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Jacksdad

77 posts in 174 days


07-25-2017 03:20 PM

I’m in the middle of it, we got a new antique chandelier that I had to rewire, then I had to move 5 different ceiling fans to do this. Another dumb project I had was a letter box that she had to have, after a month it was hanging in the garage to hold pencils


24 replies so far

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papadan

3466 posts in 3119 days


#1 posted 07-25-2017 04:08 PM

I’ve got about a half dozen a week, they’re called honey-do’s. Long happy marriage means doing the HD’s without complaint! She has taken good care of me for over 42 years now. ;-)

-- Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity!

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Rick

10072 posts in 2130 days


#2 posted 07-26-2017 12:24 AM

As long as the pay is worth the effort, when it isn’t, it’s dumb.

-- http://thewoodknack.blogspot.com/

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Jimbo4

1571 posts in 2513 days


#3 posted 07-26-2017 03:20 AM

papadan is spot on ! :o))

-- When I was a kid I wanted to be older . . . . . this CRAP is not what I expected !

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OleGrump

106 posts in 95 days


#4 posted 07-26-2017 02:10 PM

My father was the KING of thinking up STUPID projects that “HAD” to be done, (in his twisted mind, anyway) usually involving some sort of personal injury. A NORMAL person will THINK about the safest and most efficient manner in which to approach a project. IF dad thought about how to do something at ALL, it was to figure out the most difficult and dangerous way to do it. Even the Egyptians worked more efficiently! The complete reckless abandon with which dad approached a project would terrify even Tim Allen. (who could have gotten YEARS of material watching this man try to do things….)
Anyway, at 11 or 12 years old, in the early 1970s, I used to HATE when dad wanted to use “the compressor”. It was an ancient piece of equipment, at least 30 years old THEN, solid metal, bolted to an iron frame. The GD piece of S* weighed a TON! It would stand steady through a hurricane. (it survived Agnes!) This monstrosity was jointly owned by dad and one of his equally insane friends. Whenever one of them wanted to use it, it was invariably at the other one’s house. This required going to the other guy’s house, and LITERALLY picking up the SOB and LIFTING it into the truck. It was ALL the two of us could do to accomplish this task, and we were both winded once it was on the truck. Naturally, it had to be unloaded and put into position when we got it back home. (You had to heave-ho it wherever dad “needed” it.)
Why neither one of the “Einsteins” who owned the piece of crap never had the brains or the ambition to build a cart and put it on wheels I could never understand. Dad did get a more modern compressor ON WHEELS and with a handle in the mid 1970s. I don’t think I was ever so happy for someone else to receive a tool in my life !!!
Yes, the wife thinks up a bunch of stupid projects, SHE says “have” to get done, but none of them are inherently dangerous to life and limb. Don’t even ASK about dad and his chainsaw…...

-- OleGrump

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Mike_in_STL

131 posts in 284 days


#5 posted 07-26-2017 05:23 PM

I wanna know about Dad and his chainsaw!!!!!! I WANNA KNOW!!!

-- Mike in STL

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OleGrump

106 posts in 95 days


#6 posted 07-27-2017 02:38 PM



I wanna know about Dad and his chainsaw!!!!!! I WANNA KNOW!!!

- Michaeldarnold

The man might as well have worn a hockey mask when using his chainsaw. How my brothers and I even SURVIVED is a miracle. Catch phrase: “Lord Boy, I didn’t MEAN to do that…..” used with literally EVERY task at hand. Logs to be sawn were to be propped up by whatever means necessary, because dad couldn’t “let my chainsaw touch dirt, it’ll dull the blade!” OK, so naturally, he used his sons as often as possible to get logs off the ground while he bucked them. We were usually assigned the end of the log which was long enough to hold with our hands, at a relatively safe distance from the blade. Relatively. We were squatting or kneeling close enough to get a face-full of sawdust at each cut. At one time I owned few wooded acres abutting property dad owned. Bad idea. He decided one day that he was going to “help” me, and start cutting some trees “out of the way so you can drive a car back in there.” Here we go. Dad chose his first intended deciduous victim, and started the chainsaw. For anyone who doesn’t know what “fool-killers” are, these are branches or other trees which have fallen and are being held up by another tree. One should NEVER try to cut down a tree in a heavily wooded area without first ensuring that there aren’t any fool-killers up in that tree. They SHOULD. Dad never did. The first cut wen smoothly enough. The second cut yielded a log about 18’ in length which had to be knocked away from the truck, which merely slid straight down. (Not a GOOD sign here, folks) The third cut yielded a tremendous amount of cracking noise and domino type movement, resulting in three or four large limbs plummeting to Earth, while I ran backwards and dad sprang forward from his kneeling position. Fortunately for him, the tangled mass of limbs, each about 9 inches in diameter, wedged together during the fall and came to rest about a foot or so above his lower legs, which would have been crushed if they had fallen all the way down. As the dust was literally settling, dad looked at me wide-eyed and said “See there, boy, that’s why you should never be in the woods alone!” That project ended immediately after we disentangled dad and his precious chainsaw from the tree limbs. Another fine occasion, dad was at my Grandfather’s house, and was clearing some locust limbs that had fallen during a storm. In the absence of male offspring to hold these limbs while he cut them, dad naturally used his knee. This project came to an abrupt halt when he succeeded in cutting through one of the limbs and into his upper leg about six or seven inches above his knee. How he didn’t sever his femoral artery and bleed out, I’ll never know. A 25 mile trip to the hospital and several stiches later, he decided to let someone else finish the job. These are just a couple of the highlights of dad’s mis-adventures with his chainsaw, but y’all get the idea.

-- OleGrump

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firefighterontheside

16192 posts in 1607 days


#7 posted 07-27-2017 02:39 PM

For me it was making checkers pieces.

-- Bill M. "People change, walnut doesn't" by Gene.

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Jacksdad

77 posts in 174 days


#8 posted 07-27-2017 02:41 PM

You win

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Mike_in_STL

131 posts in 284 days


#9 posted 07-27-2017 04:22 PM

OleGrump,

YIKES….’nuff said.

-- Mike in STL

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OleGrump

106 posts in 95 days


#10 posted 07-27-2017 06:21 PM



OleGrump,

YIKES…. nuff said.

- Michaeldarnold

The only other place I’ve seen sections of tree trunks knocked out like that with the tree standing straight, but getting shorter like that is in the cartoons. My brothers and I are just glad that by the time the Sawzall came into common use, dad was too old to use power tools anymore. That would have been a REAL menace to society…... :-)

-- OleGrump

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moke

992 posts in 2527 days


#11 posted 07-28-2017 05:10 PM

OleGrump…great stories….you better record all those for future generations and future posts!!!!!
You made us all laugh!!! Thanks!
Mike

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Rick

10072 posts in 2130 days


#12 posted 07-28-2017 07:02 PM

I could read those dad stories all day.

My dad used to do stupid things like reach under running mowers to “clear out the clog.” One of his favorite sayings was, “Don’t ever let me catch you doing this!” I always thought to myself, “YOU WON’T because I’m not an idiot!” Of course I never said that because the default punishment in my house was dad’s leather belt across the back and thighs so I would just nod in agreement. He wasn’t dumb and was a math wizard, but he wasn’t safety conscious by any stretch.

-- http://thewoodknack.blogspot.com/

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oldnovice

6215 posts in 3118 days


#13 posted 07-28-2017 08:27 PM

When I was going to school my wife and I lived in a trailer court in Menomonie Wisconsin. Near the front of my trailer was a stump about 8 inches above the ground which all the older residents call “limpy”! One day out of curiosity I asked one of the residents why is that stump called “limpy”?
Walter, who had lived there for over two years, told me that shortly after he moved in the landlord asked him for some help taking down a tree to make room for another trailer. Walter agreed and they both went to the tree where the landlord immediately started the chainsaw and began cutting the 8 inch diameter pine. The tree fell to about a 45° angle as it was hung up in a clump of neighboring trees.
Walter said that the landlord looked at him and, without any further hesitation, climbed the suspended tree with running chainsaw in hand. When he reached about 20 feet above the ground the tree started to fall and the landlord managed to jump off with his chainsaw still running. Just before he hit the ground he was able to throw the chainsaw away from his landing spot but he landed on his hip and has been “limpy” ever since.

This is a true story, only the names have been changed to protect the stupid ones.

-- "I never met a board I didn't like!"

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OleGrump

106 posts in 95 days


#14 posted 08-01-2017 01:39 PM

Getting back to original purpose of this thread (although lugging that GD heavy assed compressor around was pretty stupid!) But the stupidest “woodworking” project I ever got talked in to doing was a “fireplace log”. The lady (and it seems it’s ALWAYS a lady, doesn’t it….?) wanted me to drill four large diameter shallow holes in row in the top of a log (my choice, random log). The idea was that she was going to put some of those tea-light candles in the tinfoil cups in the holes, and the log was to rest in the fire place. This would supposedly give the “feel” of a fire without tending it or the mess. I did go one step further and cut a flat section on the “bottom” of the log on the band saw, so it wouldn’t roll on the grate. We’ll never see one of these in a woodworking magazine…...

-- OleGrump

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papadan

3466 posts in 3119 days


#15 posted 08-01-2017 04:20 PM

I will never tell my son about this site, I’m afraid he would tell all about his dads screw ups! ;-)

-- Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity!

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