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Forum topic by Dick, & Barb Cain posted 1391 days ago 1391 views 1 time favorited 30 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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Dick, & Barb Cain

8693 posts in 2903 days


1391 days ago

Topic tags/keywords: humor

$5.37!!

That’s what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out

some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the

kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the

Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, “It’s OK. I’ll just give you the senior citizen discount.”

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. “Only $4.68” he said cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am 56 , not even 60 yet! A mere child! Senior citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?

I’ll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

“Dude! Can’t get too far without your car keys, eh?” I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind.

“Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!”

I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn’t turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing.

That’s when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.

Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.

Faster than you can say gingko biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.

Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, “What is the world coming to?”

All I could say was, “Did I leave my food and drink in here”? At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, “I think you left this in my truck by mistake.”

I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.

She offered these kind words: “It’s OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time.”

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I’m not too old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey.

The good news was I had successfully found my way home.

Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list.

Notice the larger type? That’s for those of us who have trouble reading.

P.S. Save the earth…... It’s the only planet with chocolate !!!!!

-- -** You are never to old to set another goal or to dream a new dream ****************** Dick, & Barb Cain, Hibbing, MN. http://www.woodcarvingillustrated.com/gallery/member.php?uid=3627&protype=1


30 replies so far

View Jamie Speirs's profile

Jamie Speirs

4096 posts in 1460 days


#1 posted 1391 days ago

Wonderful,
I’ve a huge smile. :)

Jamie

-- Who is the happiest of men? He who values the merits of others, and in their pleasure takes joy, even as though 'twere his own. --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

View Lee A. Jesberger's profile

Lee A. Jesberger

6646 posts in 2583 days


#2 posted 1391 days ago

Oh no, you too?

Lee

-- by Lee A. Jesberger http://www.prowoodworkingtips.com http://www.ezee-feed.com

View SPalm's profile

SPalm

4760 posts in 2486 days


#3 posted 1391 days ago

Dude, I am 56 too. Strange things start happening.

I sold my WRX last year and bought a truck. I thought I should grow up. But racing a Prius? Hmmm.

BTW – I became a grandfather this morning. And that is the truth.

Thanks for the story,
Steve

-- -- I'm no rocket surgeon

View CharlieM1958's profile

CharlieM1958

15670 posts in 2822 days


#4 posted 1391 days ago

LOL! I can relate. I’m only 51, but they’ve been mostly city miles. :-)

Steve: Congratulations, Gramps!

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View Diane's profile

Diane

546 posts in 2727 days


#5 posted 1391 days ago

Pretty good, I knew it was a story though. It sounded a bit like me in the beginning, they have been giving me senior discounts since I was in my 40 and I just turned 55. I got sick of saying I wasn’t a senior after awhile. I am old enough to join the senior center here so I consider myself a senior now. We are just oldies but goodies now.

Diane

View DaddyZ's profile

DaddyZ

2377 posts in 1644 days


#6 posted 1391 days ago

Very Cool !!!!

-- Pat - Worker of Wood, Collector of Tools, Father of one

View stevecabinum's profile

stevecabinum

23 posts in 1403 days


#7 posted 1391 days ago

Ha haaa! Thanks for sharing! LOL

View Dennisgrosen's profile

Dennisgrosen

10850 posts in 1719 days


#8 posted 1391 days ago

:—)) LOL sorry I luagh but it is a funny story
not that I am hurrying onto the other side of 50 but my speed foot is stocked to the second counter
and nomatter how I try to get of the werichle I simply just can´t slow it down

don´t worry its not so oncommon to try had three of those days last year :-(
now I just have to remember where I lieve

have a great weekend
Dennis

View richgreer's profile

richgreer

4522 posts in 1678 days


#9 posted 1391 days ago

Ouch – - This hits too close to 58 year old me.

It was just a few days ago that someone gave me and my 57 year old wife senior citizen discounts without saying a word about it. They just assumed that we were senior citizens. For 8 years I have refused to join AARP because I don’t think of myself as being old. That does not stop them from sending a mailing every couple of weeks or so.

-- Rich, Cedar Rapids, IA - I'm a woodworker. I don't create beauty, I reveal it.

View wchips's profile

wchips

314 posts in 1692 days


#10 posted 1391 days ago

You guys at 58 look like young men to me. I am 70. When i was in my 50s 70 looked ancient

-- wchips

View TheDane's profile

TheDane

3659 posts in 2267 days


#11 posted 1391 days ago

I joined AARP years ago … for the hotel discounts!

I don’t get very many senior citizen discounts (I am 63) ... I’m like Rich and don’t consider myself old … and most places around where I live you have to ask for the discount. I guess I am lucky that I don’t look my age!

-- Gerry -- "I don't plan to ever really grow up ... I'm just going to learn how to act in public!"

View ND2ELK's profile

ND2ELK

13495 posts in 2378 days


#12 posted 1391 days ago

Sounds like a normal day to me. I do have those days sometimes. Thanks for the smile!

God Bless
tom

-- Mc Bridge Cabinets, Iowa

View Rick  Dennington's profile

Rick Dennington

3273 posts in 1798 days


#13 posted 1391 days ago

Yea….. I know how you all feel…..I’m 63 also, and Dane you’re right….I don’t consider myself old, either.. I’m a young pony, and ain’t been rode too hard yet…..I also refuse to join AARP…
Now…has anyone seen my hot water bottle?......It’s time for my nap, and get me a quilt, please, I’m chilled.

-- " I started with nothing, and I've still got most of it left".......

View HokieMojo's profile

HokieMojo

2098 posts in 2332 days


#14 posted 1391 days ago

Even at $4.68, you overpaid for your taco bell.

View KnickKnack's profile

KnickKnack

965 posts in 2170 days


#15 posted 1391 days ago

There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish

What a beautiful line :-)

-- "Do not speak – unless it improves on silence." --- "Following the rules and protecting the regulations is binding oneself without rope."

showing 1 through 15 of 30 replies

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