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A Few Murphy’s Woodworking Laws

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Forum topic by Sam Yerardi posted 01-16-2008 08:05 PM 928 views 0 times favorited 6 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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Sam Yerardi

244 posts in 3802 days


01-16-2008 08:05 PM

If it might split with one more tap of the mallet (but it needs one more) it will.

Always make sure your folding rule is a complete folding rule with no missing inches or fractions of an inch; It can be hard to read and its joints can be somewhat loose, but it needs to be a complete folding rule; don’t ask how I know this, but trust me on this one.

If things are going too good, then things ARE going too good

Tearouts always show up where everyone can point them out to you, never in a place that only YOU know about.

If you cut out the tails first, I mean literally cut OUT the tails first, the dovetail will not work and no matter what you do, never will.

If anything falls over on your bench it always, ALWAYS lands in a manner causing it or something else the most damage.

No matter how long you stare at a board that you’ve just cut too short, it is now a permanent fact and won’t grow longer as you look at it.

The desire for a particular board varies directly with its distance down in the stack and the number of boards on top of it.

The cutoff you threw away yesterday will be the one you need today.

A spilled can of stain, no matter whether it’s oil-based or water-based, Minwax or Homer Formby’s, will permanently record the occurrence on your latest work for posterity.

The one part of a broken machine tool that will bring your project to a halt will be the one that is on back-order or (if you are me) is a part that will never, ever be made again and there’s been none in stock for years.

Any sharpened tool that falls on the floor will never, ever fall on the end that doesn’t get sharpened.

A cat, when left alone in a shop, will climb up and go to sleep on any piece that is being glued and requires absolutely no movement thereby changing your plans for the next day or so when you return to the shop.

A cat, also, if left alone in the shop, will discover every pile of sawdust and/or shavings, and will leave his own pile of something that won’t smell even a tenth as good.

A dog will do the same thing, but doesn’t need sawdust and/or shavings.

-- Sam


6 replies so far

View GaryK's profile

GaryK

10262 posts in 3895 days


#1 posted 01-16-2008 08:24 PM

Amen

-- Gary - Never pass up the opportunity to make a mistake look like you planned it that way - Tyler, TX

View Mario's profile

Mario

902 posts in 3958 days


#2 posted 01-16-2008 08:27 PM

too funny

Thanks for the laugh.

-- Hope Never fails

View rikkor's profile

rikkor

11295 posts in 3781 days


#3 posted 01-16-2008 08:58 PM

There must be hundreds of these.

View Scott Bryan's profile

Scott Bryan

27251 posts in 3729 days


#4 posted 01-16-2008 08:58 PM

Thanks I will post this in my shop. There are days when I need something like this (for inspiration of course).

-- Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful- Joshua Marine

View MsDebbieP's profile

MsDebbieP

18615 posts in 4067 days


#5 posted 01-16-2008 11:20 PM

#7 and #8 had me laughing out loud. #13 -oooh nooooooo poor cat… I mean.. poor woodworker…

-- ~ Debbie, Canada (https://www.facebook.com/DebbiePribeleENJOConsultant)

View Dadoo's profile

Dadoo

1789 posts in 3897 days


#6 posted 01-16-2008 11:28 PM

So sad, yet so true.

-- Bob Vila would be so proud of you!

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