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Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!

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Forum topic by TopamaxSurvivor posted 08-07-2010 08:24 AM 3181 views 1 time favorited 33 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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TopamaxSurvivor

17676 posts in 3143 days


08-07-2010 08:24 AM

Topic tags/keywords: humor i think

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine. The mother says, ‘I just gave him some ant killer…..’
Dispatcher: ‘Rush him in to emergency!’

Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid!

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, ‘I’m almost out of typing paper. What do I do?’ ‘Just use paper from the photocopier’, the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five ‘blank’ copies.
Brunette, by the way!

Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid!

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. ‘Do you need some help?’ I asked.
She replied, ‘I knew I! should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can’t get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?’
‘Hmmm, I don’t know. Do you have an alarm, too?’ I asked.
‘No, just this remote thingy,’ she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, ‘Why don’t you drive over there and check about the batteries. It’s a long walk….’
PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!

Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid!

A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM ‘thingy.’ (keep shuddering!!)

Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid!

I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those ‘dividers’ that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn’t get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the ‘divider’, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, ‘Do you know how much this is?’
I said to her ‘I’ve changed my mind; I don’t think I’ll buy that today.’
She said ‘OK,’ and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid!

-- Bob in WW ~ "some old things are lovely, warm still with life ... of the forgotten men who made them." - D.H. Lawrence


33 replies so far

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sawblade1

754 posts in 2493 days


#1 posted 08-07-2010 08:37 AM

This is the stuff great comedies are made from thank you much for sharing it it really made my day :)

-- Proverbs Ch:3 vs 5,6,7 Trust in the lord with all thine heart and lean not unto your own understanding but in all your ways aknowledge him and he shall direct your path elmerthomas81@neo.rr.com

View Karson's profile

Karson

35035 posts in 3867 days


#2 posted 08-07-2010 02:03 PM

Great way to get the eyes open this morning. Thanks.

-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Southern Delaware soon moving to Virginia karsonwm@gmail.com †

View ShopDogs's profile

ShopDogs

228 posts in 2824 days


#3 posted 08-07-2010 03:26 PM

Last week, In went through a drive-thru. My order came to $4.55. I handed the girl a 5 dollar bill plus 2 quarters and a nickel. She said I had given her too much. I replied that she could just give me back a dollar bill. She looked like a deer in the headlights. Her manager was standing nearby and said to me that they have been trained not to “fall” for that. They gave me all of the coins, plus a dollar bill, plus my food.

Michael

-- ShopDogs, Tulsa, OK The tools aren't the problem-It's the organic interface!

View LONGHAIR's profile

LONGHAIR

94 posts in 3281 days


#4 posted 08-07-2010 03:33 PM

That one happens to me a lot. So many people are just not quite “there”

View Dennisgrosen's profile

Dennisgrosen

10850 posts in 2582 days


#5 posted 08-07-2010 03:42 PM

yaahuu what a great laugh
thank´s Topa
mmmm…...where did I put my Brain got to have it before I go to work…...mmmmmm

View patron's profile

patron

13538 posts in 2808 days


#6 posted 08-07-2010 04:04 PM

gee bob ,
now i understand why you have headaches
from time to time ,

your friends would do this to me too , LOL !

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

View CharlieM1958's profile

CharlieM1958

16244 posts in 3685 days


#7 posted 08-07-2010 04:10 PM

Thanks for the laugh, Bob, but don’t you feel smarter now? :-)

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View HorizontalMike's profile

HorizontalMike

7158 posts in 2381 days


#8 posted 08-07-2010 04:13 PM

Wow, very creative!

-- HorizontalMike -- "Woodpeckers understand..."

View Mary Anne's profile

Mary Anne

1058 posts in 2675 days


#9 posted 08-07-2010 04:25 PM

Remember the last time the US Treasury put $2 bills into circulation? The guy at the convenience store wouldn’t take them. There was no way I could convince him because he “knew” there was no such thing as a $2 bill.

View blockhead's profile

blockhead

1475 posts in 2775 days


#10 posted 08-07-2010 04:36 PM

Thanks for the laugh Bob!

Michael- Good thing they were too smart to fall for your shananigans. lol I wonder how much $ they lose in a year?

Long ago, I used to work part time in a bingo hall. The phone rang, I answered and a lady asked me what time our 6:30 session started. I politely told her 6:00. She then asked how much our $25 packets were, and I told her $30. She thanked me and hung up. :-|

-- Brad, Oregon- The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.

View Bovine's profile

Bovine

114 posts in 2795 days


#11 posted 08-07-2010 05:12 PM

OMG Brad, that’s great. Make you wonder how the human race survived this long.

-- Kansas City, KS "Nothing is as permanent as a temporary solution"

View JJohnston's profile

JJohnston

1614 posts in 2758 days


#12 posted 08-07-2010 05:13 PM

I submit that life is actually EASIER if you’re stupid. Just look how happy and carefree these type of folks seem to be.

-- "A man may conduct himself well in both adversity and good fortune, but if you want to test his character, give him power." - Abraham Lincoln

View ShopDogs's profile

ShopDogs

228 posts in 2824 days


#13 posted 08-07-2010 06:11 PM

Brad, I supplement my meager income by this clever ploy!

-- ShopDogs, Tulsa, OK The tools aren't the problem-It's the organic interface!

View blockhead's profile

blockhead

1475 posts in 2775 days


#14 posted 08-07-2010 06:16 PM

Clever indeed! I’m all for supplementing. Does $4.55 seem to be the magic #, or do others work equally well? I will give it a go myself. Not everyone can be a jeenius like us. lol

-- Brad, Oregon- The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.

View a1Jim's profile

a1Jim

115206 posts in 3044 days


#15 posted 08-07-2010 06:35 PM

Funny stuff Bob

-- http://artisticwoodstudio.com Custom furniture

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