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Forum topic by TopamaxSurvivor posted 07-19-2010 07:32 PM 1647 views 2 times favorited 24 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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TopamaxSurvivor

17656 posts in 3137 days


07-19-2010 07:32 PM

Topic tags/keywords: humor joke economy

It is tough out there!!

The economy is so bad that:
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

I ordered a burger at McDonald’s and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries with that?”

CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally…
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

-- Bob in WW ~ "some old things are lovely, warm still with life ... of the forgotten men who made them." - D.H. Lawrence


24 replies so far

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rsladdwoodworks

311 posts in 2630 days


#1 posted 07-19-2010 07:41 PM

how much did the Pakistan say they would pay I can find work

-- Robert Laddusaw and no I am not smarter then a fifth grader ( and no I canot spell so if it is a problem don't read it ))

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patron

13535 posts in 2802 days


#2 posted 07-19-2010 07:41 PM

thanks bob ,

i needed this laugh ,

i called the line one time in florida ,
the message was that they were closed for the night ,
could i call back tomorrow ? lol .

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

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spclPatrolGroup

233 posts in 2356 days


#3 posted 07-19-2010 07:43 PM

:)

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2896 days


#4 posted 07-19-2010 07:49 PM

Right on the money Bob. Like Rodney Dangerfield is still around. Thanks for the laugh.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

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TopamaxSurvivor

17656 posts in 3137 days


#5 posted 07-19-2010 08:01 PM

Welcome boyz:-))

-- Bob in WW ~ "some old things are lovely, warm still with life ... of the forgotten men who made them." - D.H. Lawrence

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lew

11336 posts in 3217 days


#6 posted 07-19-2010 08:04 PM

Geez, Topa-

These would be really funny, if they weren’t so close to the truth!

-- Lew- Time traveler. Purveyor of the Universe's finest custom rolling pins.

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Karson

35035 posts in 3862 days


#7 posted 07-19-2010 08:12 PM

Some great sayings. Thanks for the laugh.

-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Southern Delaware soon moving to Virginia karsonwm@gmail.com †

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stefang

15512 posts in 2796 days


#8 posted 07-19-2010 08:44 PM

Where did you get that photo of me leaving my shop Bob? Lol. Thanks for the laugh.

-- Mike, an American living in Norway.

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Brian Havens

196 posts in 2567 days


#9 posted 07-19-2010 09:02 PM

LOL. There has got to be a Saturday Night Live skit in the last one.

-- Brian Havens, Woodworker http://brianhavens.com

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TopamaxSurvivor

17656 posts in 3137 days


#10 posted 07-19-2010 09:13 PM

I have hard some of those before. Some one did a nice composite.

-- Bob in WW ~ "some old things are lovely, warm still with life ... of the forgotten men who made them." - D.H. Lawrence

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Gnome

93 posts in 2371 days


#11 posted 07-19-2010 09:16 PM

Very funny, I actually hadn’t heard most of them. Loved the rooster.

-- Gnettie the Gnome

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degoose

7196 posts in 2816 days


#12 posted 07-19-2010 09:20 PM

Funny and sad at the same time… a bit like sweet and sour…

-- Drink twice... and don't bother to cut... @ lazylarrywoodworks.com.au For lovers of all things timber...

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a1Jim

115202 posts in 3038 days


#13 posted 07-19-2010 09:24 PM

Funny stuff Bob

-- http://artisticwoodstudio.com Custom furniture

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CampD

1474 posts in 2947 days


#14 posted 07-19-2010 09:46 PM

Great one liners!
especialy like the one Laying off the Congressman,,,, Hmmmm could happen!

-- Doug...

View Div's profile

Div

1653 posts in 2402 days


#15 posted 07-19-2010 10:04 PM

Thanks Bob, I enjoyed the laugh! I’m sure that photo shows one of our African chickens….

-- Div @ the bottom end of Africa. "A woodworker's sharpest tool should be his mind."

showing 1 through 15 of 24 replies

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