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Forum topic by David Craig posted 06-14-2010 07:49 AM 1392 views 0 times favorited 20 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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David Craig

2137 posts in 3347 days

06-14-2010 07:49 AM

Topic tags/keywords: humor lumberjock coffee lounge

Random Thoughts of an LJer… Had to share

You know you are a LumberJock when…

1. You stop and realize that you spent $1000.00 in tools over the last couple years all because you didn’t want to pay 20 bucks for that plastic gizmo at Walmart…

2. You have no problem wearing a plaid shirt, dress shorts with black socks, and sandals to your favorite lumberyard but spend hours agonizing whether that cherry stain will look good on that Maple wood project.

3. You are oblivious over oil smudges, paint splatters, and holes in all your clothes but you suddenly develop the ability to pinpoint microscopic blemishes on your finishes and gaps a microbe couldn’t pass through in your joinery.

4. You know exactly how many PB&J and Bologna sandwiches you will have to eat for lunch and supper to be able to afford that new tool you want.

5. Your spouse thinks you are having an affair with somebody named Lee Valley.

6. Your spouse no longer wants you to go shopping with them at discount stores because you will point out the laminated MDF and bad joinery on all the furniture. As a matter of fact, there is a picture of you in the employee area of the store that resembles a wanted poster and you will be asked to leave as soon as you walk through the door.

7. People think you are in a biker gang because all your friends have nicknames like Tick, Splinter, and Scrappy.

8. You start receiving woodworking machines as gifts from doctors, ER staff, and medical facilities because they consider it a good investment.

9. You have been writing letters to the Pope nominating some guy named David in New Mexico as the first Living Saint of woodworking. And you are not even Catholic.

and lastly….

10. You find yourself unable to sleep at 2 in the morning because you have so many random thoughts about woodworking that you just HAVE to post them on Lumberjocks :)

Happy woodworking all,


-- There is little that is simple when it comes to making a simple box.

20 replies so far

View Bob Collins's profile

Bob Collins

2606 posts in 3922 days

#1 posted 06-14-2010 12:55 PM

Good one David, relate to most of those above. 5. yes but her name is not Lee Valley 9, I thought all the living saints of woodworking were L.J. members 10. definitely get the best ideas at some rediculous time during the night.

Dress sense has gone, will wear anything anywhere that involves wood.

Keep your thoughts coming.

-- Bob C, Australia. Your best teacher is your last mistake.

View TheWoodsmith's profile


108 posts in 3158 days

#2 posted 06-14-2010 01:01 PM

You can also tell when you have propositioned your wife on several occasions to sew in some mesh on the bottom of your cargo pockets so that damn dust will filter out!

-- I know its around here somewhere...

View mafe's profile


11771 posts in 3327 days

#3 posted 06-14-2010 02:15 PM

When you on a saturday evening: can smell Chanel No. 5, from the bedroom, but also sawdust from the workshop – and you choose to just go 5 minutes to the workshop because you can’t resist the temptation by using your Stanley No. 5 on the workbench. (Did I say it can be so easy to foget about time when we are really there).

-- MAD F, the fanatical rhykenologist and vintage architect. Democraticwoodworking.

View richgreer's profile


4541 posts in 3312 days

#4 posted 06-14-2010 03:29 PM

You know you are a LJ when every time you see a piece of furniture you start thinking about how you would make it.

For me, this is so true.

-- Rich, Cedar Rapids, IA - I'm a woodworker. I don't create beauty, I reveal it.

View BritBoxmaker's profile


4611 posts in 3274 days

#5 posted 06-14-2010 03:30 PM

Yes, David, I have most of those. Particularly 10. but Sue won’t let me post that early in the morning.
Also your wife barely suppresses rage at yet another ex-project Christmas/ birthday gift.

-- Martyn -- Boxologist, Pattern Juggler and Candyman of the visually challenging.

View GMman's profile


3902 posts in 3935 days

#6 posted 06-14-2010 03:34 PM

You know you are a LJ when you don’t block members for no reason.

View Jim Bertelson's profile

Jim Bertelson

4256 posts in 3402 days

#7 posted 06-14-2010 04:08 PM’s called obsession, and you are no longer in control…...............(-:

-- Jim, Anchorage Alaska

View Viking's profile


880 posts in 3433 days

#8 posted 06-14-2010 04:17 PM

When you are in SE Asia, on business, and still carve out some LJ time on the site.

In contract meetings in Ulsan S. Korea this week.

This site is addictive! Heard that somewhere.


-- Rick Gustafson - Lost Creek Ranch - Colorado County, Texas

View jockmike2's profile


10635 posts in 4484 days

#9 posted 06-14-2010 04:44 PM

David, I knew you were a funny guy, but where did all this come from? You’re never this funny when you’re over. It’s all true especially about the holes in the cloths, I don’t own anything without a hole in it.

-- (You just have to please the man in the Mirror) Mike from Michigan -

View Knothead62's profile


2600 posts in 3199 days

#10 posted 06-14-2010 05:30 PM

Let me mention that #2 is totally acceptable after you turn 60 years old.

View schloemoe's profile


709 posts in 3176 days

#11 posted 06-14-2010 05:45 PM

I’ve got em all and they’re gettin worse…............................Schloemoe

-- schloemoe, Oregon , http://www.

View David Craig's profile

David Craig

2137 posts in 3347 days

#12 posted 06-14-2010 06:21 PM

Thanks for the comments all and for keeping the post going :)

Mike – truth be known, I think with my fingers and am much more eloquent and clear when typing than I am verbally. I could be more like this when I visit, but I would have to borrow your computer and type to you :)


-- There is little that is simple when it comes to making a simple box.

View jockmike2's profile


10635 posts in 4484 days

#13 posted 06-14-2010 08:24 PM

OH! That makes sense, I think.

-- (You just have to please the man in the Mirror) Mike from Michigan -

View Jim Bertelson's profile

Jim Bertelson

4256 posts in 3402 days

#14 posted 06-15-2010 03:13 AM

Mike and David
I understand David and the computer thing. I never retell someone elses jokes. I never get it right, so I am always standing there listening to other people tell jokes… when I am just standing there with a beer in my hand at a party ( I go to at least one party each year, my own Christmas party for the employees…(-:.......... ).

However, when I am interacting with people, like in the office…......well….....I consider it a failure if the patient hasn’t laughed or grinned at least once during a visit. But they are situational humerous things. Occasionally I fail. Usually I get everybody to laugh, even when I tell them they have a potentially deadly disease.

But I failed today with someone I have known forever, but I think I have seen her crack a smile maybe once in 20 some years. She is not an upbeat person, and I was discussing all too serious things. I instinctively knew with this patient, humor was not going to fit in. Her husband was there and is a carbon copy of her…......isn’t that always the case?

But coming to me as a patient…....expect to laugh.

Next patient in a row, delivered her in 1985, and delivered her baby a couple of years ago, talking about her partner leaving, and so she was moving in with her mother, who is obviously also my patient. So we got into a very entertaining conversation about parents. Lots of smiles and laughs. Upbeat because she just got a great job, with health insurance as a benefit.

But I am probably best with the written word…....even as a young kid. Making my own birthday cards with pencils and perhaps crayons, and some poetry….......yah, what about it?!?.........poetry…...(-:

Like the written word, gives me time to reflect and craft what I am saying. But then in my profession, and with my education, it is words, words, words.

Helps to be a fast typist…............(-:

Alaska Jim

-- Jim, Anchorage Alaska

View Beginningwoodworker's profile


13345 posts in 3911 days

#15 posted 06-15-2010 03:32 AM

Good one David.

showing 1 through 15 of 20 replies

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