Now .....and ..... Then OR then and now...

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Forum topic by degoose posted 06-12-2010 01:48 PM 1041 views 0 times favorited 7 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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7193 posts in 2774 days

06-12-2010 01:48 PM

Topic tags/keywords: humor or not

The Old Navy

Then – If you smoked, you had an ashtray on your desk.
Now – If you smoke, you get sent outside and treated like a leper, if your lucky.

Then – Mail took weeks to come to the ship.
Now – Every time you get near land, there’s a mob topside to see if their mobile phones work.

Then – If you left the ship it was in Blues or Whites, even in home port.
Now – The only time you wear Blues or Whites is for ceremonies.

Then – You wore bell bottoms.
Now – Bell bottoms are gone and 14 year-old girls wear them everywhere.

Then – You wore a cap/hat with every uniform.
Now – It’s not required and you have a choice of different hats.

Then – If you said “Shit,” people knew you were annoyed and avoided you.
Now – If you say “Shit,” you’d better be talking about a sewage plant.

Then -The Ship’s Office writer had a typewriter on his desk for doing daily reports.
Now – Everyone has a computer with Internet access and they wonder why no work is getting done.

Then – Your girlfriend was at home, praying you would return alive.
Now – She is on the same ship, praying your condom worked.

Then – If you got drunk off duty, your buddies would take you back to the ship so you could sleep it off.
Now – If you get drunk off duty, they slap you in rehab and ruin your career.

Then – Drinking mugs were made out of steel and you could heat coffee or hot chocolate in them.
Now – Drinking mugs are made of plastic; you can’t heat them because they’ll melt, and anything inside always tastes like plastic.

Then – Officers were professional sailors first. They commanded respect. Now – Officers are politicians first. They beg not to be given a ‘wedgie’.

Then – They collected enemy intelligence and analyzed it. Now – They collect your pee and analyze it.

Then – If you didn’t act right, they’d put you on extra duty until you straightened up.
Now – If you don’t act right, they start a paper trail that follows you forever.

Then – Medals were awarded to heroes who saved lives at the risk of their own.
Now – Medals are awarded to people who show up for work most of the time.

Then – You slept in a barracks block, like a soldier.
Now – You sleep in a dormitory, like a college kid.

Then – You ate in a mess hall or cafeteria. It was free and you could have all the food you wanted.
Now – You eat in a dining facility. Every slice of bread or pat of butter costs, and you can only have one.

Then – If you wanted to relax, you went to the Rec Centre, played snooker, smoked and drank beer.
Now – You go to the Community Centre and can still play snooker, maybe.

Then – If you wanted a beer and conversation, you could go to the Junior Sailors’ and Senior Sailors’ messes or Wardroom.
Now – The beer will cost you heaps and someone is watching to see how much you drink.

Then – The canteen had bargains for sailors who didn’t make much money.
Now – The canteen competes with David Jones Food Hall.

Then – If an Admiral wanted to make a presentation, he scribbled down some notes and a Flag Lieutenant spent an hour preparing a bunch of charts.
Now – The Admiral has his entire staff spending days preparing a Power Point presentation.

Then – We called the enemy things like ”Nips”, “Gooks”, “Commie Bastards” and “Reds” because we didn’t like them.
Now – We call the enemy things like “Opposing Forces” and “Aggressors” or “Insurgents” so we won’t offend them.

Then – We declared victory when the enemy was dead and all his things were broken.
Now – We declare victory when the enemy says he is sorry and won’t do it again.

Then – A commander would put his butt on the line to protect his people.
Now – A commander will put his people on the line to protect his butt.

Thank God I was in the “Old Navy” – and proud of it.

-- Drink twice... and don't bother to cut... @ For lovers of all things timber...

7 replies so far

View BritBoxmaker's profile


4607 posts in 2456 days

#1 posted 06-12-2010 02:20 PM

Larry, I hate to think of the world in which people will be nostalgic for these days.

-- Martyn -- Boxologist, Pattern Juggler and Candyman of the visually challenging.

View lew's profile


11263 posts in 3175 days

#2 posted 06-12-2010 03:22 PM

Thanks, Larry!

I forwarded this to all my “Old Navy” buddies. Back then the ships were made of wood and the men made of steel. Even the aircraft carriers had sails!


-- Lew- Time traveler. Purveyor of the Universe's finest custom rolling pins.

View Woodwrecker's profile


3910 posts in 2995 days

#3 posted 06-12-2010 04:35 PM

The sad part is, all of these are true.

-- Eric, central Florida

View SnowyRiver's profile


51452 posts in 2900 days

#4 posted 06-12-2010 05:46 PM

How true it is !

-- Wayne - Plymouth MN

View stefang's profile


15512 posts in 2754 days

#5 posted 06-12-2010 07:03 PM

Sounds about right Larry except the part about having a desk. I never had a desk or an ashtray while in the Navy. We Boatswain Mates never had to write much and our cigarette butts went over the side ( with a lot of other things).

-- Mike, an American living in Norway.

View OttoH's profile


891 posts in 2429 days

#6 posted 06-12-2010 07:58 PM

Larry, I was not Navy but I did spend 20 years in the Air Force. I read through your list and shake my head because it si all true. How I long for the good old days.

-- I am responsible for how I respond to everything in my life - - Deadwood SD

View jockmike2's profile


10635 posts in 3666 days

#7 posted 06-13-2010 04:59 PM

I was “lucky” to See the new Army emerge while I was in. Man did it turn weird overnight. Even the NCO’s and CO’s didn’t know how to act. Civilian KP’s on a Top Secret instalation, man they had their hands full, mostly Turks and Gypsies.

-- (You just have to please the man in the Mirror) Mike from Michigan -

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