A Senior Moment

  • Advertise with us

« back to Coffee Lounge forum

Forum topic by closetguy posted 03-04-2010 04:43 PM 1014 views 0 times favorited 5 replies Add to Favorites Watch
View closetguy's profile


744 posts in 3886 days

03-04-2010 04:43 PM

Just in Case You are a Senior and Get a Check for $250…

By end of this year, seniors will again receive an Economic Stimulus payment.

This is a very exciting program.

I’ll explain it using the Q and A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers..
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of Asia ?
A. Shut up or you don’t get your check.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

1. If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go to China .
2. If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia .
3. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India
4. If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras or Guatemala .
5. If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
6. If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
7. If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to pay management bonuses and be hidden in offshore accounts.

Or, you can keep the money in America by:

1. spending it at yard sales, flea markets, or craft shows, or
2. going to baseball or football games, or
3. hiring prostitutes, or
4. buying cheap beer or
5. getting tattoos.
These are the only wholly-American- owned businesses still operating in the US .

The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you’re drunk enough to go get tattooed.

-- I don't make mistakes, only design

5 replies so far

View davidpettinger's profile


661 posts in 3194 days

#1 posted 03-04-2010 05:05 PM

I like your thinking. We just have to let the stimulus come and we will handle the rest. The federal government proved that in 1999 when they took over the Mustang Ranch in Nevada for back taxes and racketeering. The hand writing was on the wall then. Federal government lost money on the venture. Proving that they can tax it, just can’t run it. Who loses money sellin’ whiskey????? LOL :>))

-- Methods are many,Principles are few.Methods change often,Principles never do.

View AnnaCatherine's profile


30 posts in 3931 days

#2 posted 03-04-2010 05:08 PM

I thought they just said they weren’t going to send these stim checks this year.

-- Anna-Catherine

View poroskywood's profile


618 posts in 3358 days

#3 posted 03-04-2010 07:47 PM

Hey….that’s how I got my tattoo. Amazing, I’ve been suppoting USA all the way.

-- There's many a slip betwixt a cup and a lip.--Scott

View rtb's profile


1101 posts in 3707 days

#4 posted 03-05-2010 01:49 AM

Sorry guys, the senate just turned it down. So now if you want to pay to play it has to come from your after tax $$$$ which will probably be taxed again with possible exception of the lady of the evening, unless she is a govt. employee.

-- RTB. stray animals are just looking for love

View webwood's profile


626 posts in 3244 days

#5 posted 03-05-2010 02:02 AM

automation has killed our economy – if there are no workers – there is no one to buy products – plain and simple

-- -erik & christy-

Have your say...

You must be signed in to reply.

DISCLAIMER: Any posts on LJ are posted by individuals acting in their own right and do not necessarily reflect the views of LJ. LJ will not be held liable for the actions of any user.

Latest Projects | Latest Blog Entries | Latest Forum Topics