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The importance of walking.....

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Forum topic by degoose posted 03-03-2010 03:06 AM 946 views 0 times favorited 10 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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degoose

7127 posts in 2353 days


03-03-2010 03:06 AM

Topic tags/keywords: humor

The Importance of Walking
Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $2000 per month.

My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he’s 97 years old
and we don’t know where the hell he is.

I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I’m doing..

I joined a health club last year,
spent about $1200.
Haven’t lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there..

Every time I hear the dirty word ‘exercise’,
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I do have flabby thighs,
but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they’ll say,
‘Well, she looks good doesn’t she.’

If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years,.......
just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older,
because there’s a lot more information in our heads.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

AND

Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour have a few drinks
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.

You could run this over to your friends
But just e-mail it to them!

-- Drink twice... and don't bother to cut... @ lazylarrywoodworks.com.au For lovers of all things timber...


10 replies so far

View mtnwild's profile

mtnwild

3474 posts in 2525 days


#1 posted 03-03-2010 03:10 AM

Thanks, very funny, enjoyed those…....................

-- mtnwild (Jack), It's not what you see, it's how you see it.

View mtkate's profile

mtkate

2049 posts in 2323 days


#2 posted 03-03-2010 03:10 AM

Here’s to beer goggles and big old brains!

View JJohnston's profile

JJohnston

1613 posts in 2289 days


#3 posted 03-03-2010 03:18 AM

I tried jogging, but I had to quit.

The wind kept putting out my cigarette.

-- "A man may conduct himself well in both adversity and good fortune, but if you want to test his character, give him power." - Abraham Lincoln

View patron's profile

patron

13394 posts in 2339 days


#4 posted 03-03-2010 03:39 AM

i exercise much more now ,

i go to the bathroom ,
in the middle of the night !

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

View CharlieM1958's profile

CharlieM1958

16048 posts in 3216 days


#5 posted 03-03-2010 03:59 AM

I started running at 40, and didn’t stop smoking until I was 41.

There was a LOT of wheezing that year! :-)

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View Napaman's profile

Napaman

5435 posts in 3075 days


#6 posted 03-03-2010 04:45 AM

ouch charlie…

good stuff goose! I joined a health club in august…went a lot the first 2 months…and seldom since…

-- Matt--Proud LJ since 2007

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TopamaxSurvivor

16205 posts in 2674 days


#7 posted 03-03-2010 05:26 AM

Maybe we should have a LJ happy hour when we all look good :-))

-- Bob in WW ~ "some old things are lovely, warm still with life ... of the forgotten men who made them." - D.H. Lawrence

View Thos. Angle's profile

Thos. Angle

4440 posts in 2960 days


#8 posted 03-03-2010 05:52 AM

Ahhh, go walk-about, Mate.

-- Thos. Angle, Jordan Valley, Oregon

View blackcherry's profile

blackcherry

3227 posts in 2821 days


#9 posted 03-03-2010 06:47 AM

I read a medical journal article not to long ago that stated by just viewing a” good walker” can add to one life span…BC

View stefang's profile

stefang

14600 posts in 2332 days


#10 posted 03-03-2010 09:48 PM

Walking? Is this something new I haven’t heard about yet?

-- Mike, an American living in Norway.

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