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Reincarnation.

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Forum topic by degoose posted 02-22-2010 08:16 AM 847 views 0 times favorited 10 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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degoose

7051 posts in 2098 days


02-22-2010 08:16 AM

Topic tags/keywords: humor

Subject: Possibly one of the best jokes i’ve read in a while!!!

Dave the hen

Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking
drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was
already asleep.

He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke, he
found a strange man standing at the end of his bed. ‘Who the hell are
you?’, demanded Dave, ‘and what are you doing in my bedroom ?’

The mysterious man answered, ‘This isn’t your bedroom and I’m St Peter.’

Dave was stunned. ‘You mean I’m dead !!! That can’t be, I have so much
to live for – and I haven’t said goodbye to my family. . . You’ve got
to send me back straight away.’

St Peter replied, ‘Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch.
We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.’

Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his
house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.

A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking
around, pecking the ground…

‘This ain’t so bad’, he thought until he felt this strange feeling
welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said,
‘So you’re the new hen, How are you enjoying your first day here ?’

‘It’s not so bad’, replies Dave, ‘but I have this strange feeling
inside like I’m about to explode.’

‘You’re ovulating’, explained the rooster. ‘Don’t tell me you’ve never
laid an egg before.’

‘Never’, replies Dave.

‘Well just relax and let it happen’.

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops
out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him
and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood
for the first time.

When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming
and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that
ever happened to him . . . Ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg, he
felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife
shouting…

‘Dave, wake up, you drunken bastard. You’ve shit the bed !!’

-- Drink twice... and don't bother to cut... @ lazylarrywoodworks.com.au For lovers of all things timber...


10 replies so far

View a1Jim's profile

a1Jim

112806 posts in 2321 days


#1 posted 02-22-2010 08:47 AM

Larry Larry Larry your so bad , bad but funny.

-- http://artisticwoodstudio.com Custom furniture

View WayneC's profile

WayneC

12302 posts in 2841 days


#2 posted 02-22-2010 08:52 AM

Now that is funny. I do not care who you are….lol

-- We must guard our enthusiasm as we would our life - James Krenov

View degoose's profile

degoose

7051 posts in 2098 days


#3 posted 02-22-2010 08:57 AM

I don’t care who you are that there is funny… Larry the cable guy…

-- Drink twice... and don't bother to cut... @ lazylarrywoodworks.com.au For lovers of all things timber...

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WayneC

12302 posts in 2841 days


#4 posted 02-22-2010 09:06 AM

yup….. It is that level of a joke

My corgi puppy went ewe tipping this morning… still laughing over that. Have to figure out how to make a joke out of it.

In the event the reference is missed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Kay5f5Lbjg&feature=related

-- We must guard our enthusiasm as we would our life - James Krenov

View stefang's profile

stefang

13623 posts in 2078 days


#5 posted 02-22-2010 02:44 PM

I think Dave the hen served with me in the Navy. Good one Larry, lol.

-- Mike, an American living in Norway.

View Kent Shepherd's profile

Kent Shepherd

2698 posts in 2030 days


#6 posted 02-22-2010 04:19 PM

That’s disgusting—but funny

Thanks for the laugh

-- She thought I hung the moon--now she just thinks I did it wrong

View lew's profile

lew

10151 posts in 2499 days


#7 posted 02-22-2010 04:59 PM

Good One, Larry!

-- Lew- Time traveler. Purveyor of the Universe's finest custom rolling pins.

View Pdub's profile

Pdub

898 posts in 1924 days


#8 posted 02-22-2010 11:41 PM

Thanks Larry. I needed a good laugh today. :)

-- Paul, North Dakota, USAF Ret.

View Dennisgrosen's profile

Dennisgrosen

10850 posts in 1859 days


#9 posted 02-23-2010 12:10 AM

:—-))))
thankĀ“s Larry

View blackcherry's profile

blackcherry

3199 posts in 2567 days


#10 posted 02-23-2010 05:10 AM

Oh my sides hurt Larry…can’t wait to pass this one along…LOL

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