LumberJocks

Just Fred, and I am not a woodworker...

  • Advertise with us

« back to Coffee Lounge forum

Forum topic by degoose posted 1623 days ago 894 views 0 times favorited 12 replies Add to Favorites Watch
View degoose's profile

degoose

6970 posts in 1952 days


1623 days ago

Topic tags/keywords: fred humor

A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.

‘Fred,’ he replies.

‘Fred what?’ the officer asks.

‘Just Fred,’ the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.

The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. ‘Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?’

The biker replies, ‘It’s a long story, so stay with me.’ I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades.

When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.

Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD…

Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.

Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.

Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.’

The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

-- Drink twice... and don't bother to cut... @ lazylarrywoodworks.com.au For lovers of all things timber...


12 replies so far

View Jeison's profile

Jeison

947 posts in 1705 days


#1 posted 1623 days ago

\o/

-- - Jei, Rockford IL - When in doubt, spray it with WD-40 and wrap it with duct tape. The details will attend to themselves.

View patron's profile

patron

12955 posts in 1938 days


#2 posted 1623 days ago

thanks larry ,

to funny !

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

View Splinterman's profile

Splinterman

23058 posts in 1958 days


#3 posted 1623 days ago

Good one mate…:-)

View spanky46's profile

spanky46

977 posts in 1987 days


#4 posted 1623 days ago

I hate when that happens!

-- spanky46 -- Never enough clamps...Never enough tools...Never enough time.

View Abbott's profile

Abbott

2570 posts in 1901 days


#5 posted 1622 days ago

LOL!

-- Ohh mann...pancakes and boobies...I'll bet that's what Heaven is like! ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣

View RandyMarine's profile

RandyMarine

235 posts in 1966 days


#6 posted 1622 days ago

Fantastic

-- Semper Fi, Randy Sr.

View a1Jim's profile

a1Jim

111999 posts in 2174 days


#7 posted 1622 days ago

Were do you find this stuff LOL

-- http://artisticwoodstudio.com Custom furniture

View Padre's profile

Padre

930 posts in 2086 days


#8 posted 1622 days ago

View F Dudak's profile

F Dudak

342 posts in 2408 days


#9 posted 1622 days ago

Glad my name’s not Fred Johnson! LMAO

-- Fred.... Poconos, PA ---- Chairwright in the making ----

View stefang's profile

stefang

12560 posts in 1931 days


#10 posted 1622 days ago

Fred would probably have been better off if he was a woodworker! LOL

-- Mike, an American living in Norway.

View Jonathan's profile

Jonathan

2603 posts in 1648 days


#11 posted 1622 days ago

OK Mike, I’m not going to go there, enough is implied by your comment…!

That was a good one, and you could sort of anticipate it too, but I still laughed out loud at the end.

Ha!

-- Jonathan, Denver, CO "Constructive criticism is welcome and valued as it gives me new perspectives and helps me to advance as a woodworker."

View Dusty56's profile

Dusty56

11638 posts in 2285 days


#12 posted 1621 days ago

Saw that one coming , but it was certainly funny , Larry : )

-- I'm absolutely positive that I couldn't be more uncertain!

Have your say...

You must be signed in to reply.

DISCLAIMER: Any posts on LJ are posted by individuals acting in their own right and do not necessarily reflect the views of LJ. LJ will not be held liable for the actions of any user.

Latest Projects | Latest Blog Entries | Latest Forum Topics

HomeRefurbers.com

Latest Projects | Latest Blog Entries | Latest Forum Topics

GardenTenders.com :: gardening showcase