Just Fred, and I am not a woodworker...

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Forum topic by degoose posted 02-12-2010 09:20 AM 1059 views 0 times favorited 12 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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7143 posts in 2447 days

02-12-2010 09:20 AM

Topic tags/keywords: fred humor

A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.

‘Fred,’ he replies.

‘Fred what?’ the officer asks.

‘Just Fred,’ the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.

The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. ‘Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?’

The biker replies, ‘It’s a long story, so stay with me.’ I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades.

When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.

Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD…

Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.

Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.

Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.’

The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

-- Drink twice... and don't bother to cut... @ For lovers of all things timber...

12 replies so far

View Jeison's profile


947 posts in 2200 days

#1 posted 02-12-2010 10:10 AM


-- - Jei, Rockford IL - When in doubt, spray it with WD-40 and wrap it with duct tape. The details will attend to themselves.

View patron's profile


13422 posts in 2434 days

#2 posted 02-12-2010 10:16 AM

thanks larry ,

to funny !

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

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23059 posts in 2454 days

#3 posted 02-12-2010 12:06 PM

Good one mate…:-)

View spanky46's profile


992 posts in 2483 days

#4 posted 02-12-2010 01:00 PM

I hate when that happens!

-- spanky46 -- Never enough clamps...Never enough tools...Never enough time.

View Abbott's profile


2570 posts in 2396 days

#5 posted 02-12-2010 05:24 PM


-- Ohh mann...pancakes and boobies...I'll bet that's what Heaven is like! ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣

View RandyMarine's profile


236 posts in 2462 days

#6 posted 02-12-2010 05:30 PM


-- Semper Fi, Randy Sr.

View a1Jim's profile


113839 posts in 2670 days

#7 posted 02-12-2010 05:38 PM

Were do you find this stuff LOL

-- Custom furniture

View Padre's profile


930 posts in 2581 days

#8 posted 02-12-2010 05:46 PM

View F Dudak's profile

F Dudak

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#9 posted 02-12-2010 06:39 PM

Glad my name’s not Fred Johnson! LMAO

-- Fred.... Poconos, PA ---- Chairwright in the making ----

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14979 posts in 2427 days

#10 posted 02-12-2010 08:02 PM

Fred would probably have been better off if he was a woodworker! LOL

-- Mike, an American living in Norway.

View Jonathan's profile


2608 posts in 2143 days

#11 posted 02-12-2010 08:09 PM

OK Mike, I’m not going to go there, enough is implied by your comment…!

That was a good one, and you could sort of anticipate it too, but I still laughed out loud at the end.


-- Jonathan, Denver, CO "Constructive criticism is welcome and valued as it gives me new perspectives and helps me to advance as a woodworker."

View Dusty56's profile


11781 posts in 2780 days

#12 posted 02-13-2010 10:23 PM

Saw that one coming , but it was certainly funny , Larry : )

-- I'm absolutely positive that I couldn't be more uncertain!

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