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Forum topic by interpim posted 01-31-2010 08:57 PM 1071 views 0 times favorited 10 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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interpim

1158 posts in 2922 days


01-31-2010 08:57 PM

Topic tags/keywords: humor

1. IF YOU’RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSETRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5 . IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6 . YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7 . REMEMBER- EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

8 . IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

-- San Diego, CA


10 replies so far

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Hoakie

306 posts in 3499 days


#1 posted 01-31-2010 09:03 PM

5 & 8 are great!

-- John H. [To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk. ~Edison]

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a1Jim

115202 posts in 3040 days


#2 posted 01-31-2010 09:06 PM

Have you been going the same places as Larry.
Fun stuff.

-- http://artisticwoodstudio.com Custom furniture

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yarydoc

417 posts in 2608 days


#3 posted 01-31-2010 09:48 PM

Thats not humor. Sounds more like Navy logic. :-) (USN 1967-1971)

-- Ray , Florence Alabama

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yarydoc

417 posts in 2608 days


#4 posted 02-01-2010 03:27 AM

Sorry interpim I didn’t intend to kill your post. Was just an old sailor joking.

-- Ray , Florence Alabama

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interpim

1158 posts in 2922 days


#5 posted 02-01-2010 03:29 AM

haha…

-- San Diego, CA

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mike02719

25 posts in 3249 days


#6 posted 02-01-2010 03:52 AM

I am an old sailor,too. Tin Can Navy, Mayport, FLA. #9 should be If Walmart doesn’t have, you don’t need it.

-- Mike, Massachusetts

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Jeison

951 posts in 2571 days


#7 posted 02-01-2010 05:06 AM

Jei heartily supports #6

-- - Jei, Rockford IL - When in doubt, spray it with WD-40 and wrap it with duct tape. The details will attend to themselves.

View Cher's profile

Cher

942 posts in 2557 days


#8 posted 02-01-2010 09:31 PM

Laughter is better than woodworking

-- When you know better you do better.

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Miket

308 posts in 3235 days


#9 posted 02-01-2010 09:31 PM

Hmmmm…

-- It's better to have people think you're stupid rather than open your mouth and remove all doubt.

View SKFrog16's profile

SKFrog16

661 posts in 2664 days


#10 posted 02-02-2010 01:35 AM

Interpim, you forgot the real important one. If it doesn’t move, paint it.

-- Methods are many,Principles are few.Methods change often,Principles never do.

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