Morning laugh

  • Advertise with us

« back to Coffee Lounge forum

Forum topic by MedicKen posted 01-29-2010 07:06 PM 1527 views 1 time favorited 10 replies Add to Favorites Watch
View MedicKen's profile


1612 posts in 3426 days

01-29-2010 07:06 PM

Topic tags/keywords: humor


When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,’ I announced to the technician, ‘it’s open!’
His reply: ‘I know. I already got that side.’

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS

We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, ‘Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.’
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, ‘NO, it’s not.’ Four is larger than two.’

We haven’t used Sears repair since.
She said, ‘you gave me too much money.’
I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.
She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said
‘We’re sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.’
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.


My daughter and I went through the McDonald’s take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD’s.

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: ‘Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.’

From Kingman , KS

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell
and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind
the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’
He said he was sorry,
but they only had iceburg lettuce. —From Kansas City

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, ‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’
To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’
He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, ‘What on earth are blind people doing driving?!’


She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to ‘downsizing,’ our manager commented cheerfully,
‘This is fun. We should do this more often.’
Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on.


A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

-- My job is to give my kids things to discuss with their

10 replies so far

View nailbanger2's profile


1041 posts in 3108 days

#1 posted 01-29-2010 07:15 PM

A re-occurring debate in our house is started by my comment “there is no such thing as common sense. There is good sense and senseless!”.

-- Wish I were Norm's Nephew

View a1Jim's profile


117062 posts in 3541 days

#2 posted 01-29-2010 07:16 PM

There all over the place. thanks for sharing.

-- wood crafting & woodworking classes

View Heidi Neely's profile

Heidi Neely

550 posts in 3138 days

#3 posted 01-29-2010 07:19 PM

Thanks for posting this….I laughed out loud at a few of those. There’s nothing like starting the day off with a good laugh : )

-- Heidi :) “The only source of knowledge is experience”

View beginrbldr's profile


99 posts in 3007 days

#4 posted 01-29-2010 07:24 PM

Yep there out there. lol

-- Jeff, Laguna Hills CA

View Scott Bryan's profile

Scott Bryan

27250 posts in 3786 days

#5 posted 01-29-2010 08:53 PM

Thanks, Ken. These were cute.

-- Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful- Joshua Marine

View Bothus's profile


441 posts in 3140 days

#6 posted 01-30-2010 03:39 AM

Hi Ken,

These remind me of the time I went to Quiznos and ordered a Caesar Salad…

The server asked me what kind of dressing I wanted with it.


-- Jerry Boshear, Professional Kitchen Designer, amature woodworker.

View Pex Tubing 's profile

Pex Tubing

4 posts in 3010 days

#7 posted 02-08-2010 09:17 PM

thanks for sharing )

-- Pex Tubing,

View Jeison's profile


968 posts in 3072 days

#8 posted 02-08-2010 09:44 PM


-- - Jei, Rockford IL - When in doubt, spray it with WD-40 and wrap it with duct tape. The details will attend to themselves.

View woodcrafter47's profile


352 posts in 3069 days

#9 posted 02-09-2010 04:08 PM

Traffic light one was really good one .LOL :>} thanks for sharing.

-- In His service ,Richard

View patron's profile


13600 posts in 3305 days

#10 posted 02-09-2010 04:16 PM

” the only problem ,
with ’ common sense ’ ,

is that it is not ,
very common !

Voltaire .

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

Have your say...

You must be signed in to reply.

DISCLAIMER: Any posts on LJ are posted by individuals acting in their own right and do not necessarily reflect the views of LJ. LJ will not be held liable for the actions of any user.

Latest Projects | Latest Blog Entries | Latest Forum Topics