Being alone

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Forum topic by Cher posted 01-27-2010 10:01 PM 1970 views 0 times favorited 30 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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954 posts in 3062 days

01-27-2010 10:01 PM

I joined this site because of all the beautifull work that every one contributes and I must say thank you to all for all the input of adding photos and descriptions I thoroughly enjoy looking and reading, to some of you who think you go a bit too far well I enjoy it. I dont have anyone other than this site to share my work and my passion with. I spend most of my time alone thankfully I got Honey who takes up a lot of my time I enjoy spending time with her, unfortunately she just cant talk, so I do all the talking (if she could talk I wonder what she would say). Today I spent time in the workshop trying to get it organized and tidied it up a bit but I still have a lot to do. What got to me today was that I realised just how alone I am. I am not feeling sorry for myself I just hurt because if I had my mom here with me we could take tea breaks and have a chat and a good laugh, I always managed to make her laugh she was my best friend, I feel awful saying this but when she was here I didnt appreciate her the way I should have, to those of you who still have your parents spend every moment you have enjoying and appreciating them because no one will ever love you as much as your mother.
Tomorrow I want to try out my new lathe, just one question as this moment (there will be more), what wood shoud I start practising on?

-- When you know better you do better.

30 replies so far

View PurpLev's profile


8534 posts in 3617 days

#1 posted 01-27-2010 10:09 PM

hi Cher, I believe a high percentage of people here, and outside woodworking feel the same as you do. but most don’t like to admit it so you just dont hear about it that often. thanks for sharing.

what woods do you have a available to practice turning?

-- ㊍ When in doubt - There is no doubt - Go the safer route.

View john's profile


2370 posts in 4350 days

#2 posted 01-27-2010 10:14 PM

Don,t feel bad Cher , i have been alone for years :) It might explain why i get so much work done .
Luckily i still have my two dogs and four cats to talk to :)

-- John in Belgrave (Website) ,

View EricJ's profile


9 posts in 3015 days

#3 posted 01-27-2010 10:25 PM

I’m sorry to read about you feeling alone. I lost my father just over a year ago and I totally agree with you about not appreciating them as much as when they’re gone.

As for practicing turning, I would suggest throwing in a piece of wood scrap that you have laying around. Getting the feel of roughing a piece to round can be intimidating for some people, so do it with something that you don’t have any attachment to. Then try all your different chisels and get a feel for them. Wood that has some moisture in it turns easier than bone dry stuff.

View CharlieM1958's profile


16274 posts in 4187 days

#4 posted 01-27-2010 10:44 PM

It’s just human nature that we tend to take our blessings for granted until we lose them. When feeling lonely or down, it’s always helpful to sit down and make a list of all the things you have to be grateful for. This is guaranteed to put you in a better mood.

For lathe practice, anything on the softer side is good to help you get a feel for what the different tools do. Pine is great if you have that available to you.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View a1Jim's profile


117063 posts in 3546 days

#5 posted 01-27-2010 10:46 PM

Hey Cher Your part of the LJs family your not alone. You might check in your area and see if there are woodworking clubs you could join or a community collage woodworking programs. I know that many of my students take my class just for human contact because there alone I must have 8 widows in my class and They all share information and have a good time. You can practice on most woods just make sure you have your tool resting on the rest and not to wear any loose clothing that can get wound up in your turning.

-- wood crafting & woodworking classes

View mvflaim's profile


189 posts in 3060 days

#6 posted 01-27-2010 10:58 PM

If you’re feeling alone maybe you should volunteer at a Habitat for Humanity program (or any other volunteer work) in your area. Or maybe you can join a woodturning orginization and meet some new freinds that can help you with your turning skills. If you feel alone for a long period of time, it will lead to depression which is not good.

View David Craig's profile

David Craig

2137 posts in 3078 days

#7 posted 01-27-2010 11:08 PM


Thank you for the touching sharing of your vulnerability. This site, I am sure, is at least partly successful due to many of us feeling equally isolated at times. This is a specialized hobby and many of the challenges, frustrations, and moments of pride we feel fall on deaf ears. Even when others attempt to be supportive, it can still feel isolating because that connective tissue is just not there. Hopefully, the comments here illustrate that you are not as alone as you might feel.

As far as the lathe goes, I have practiced my lathing with 2×4 pine. I would rip the boards in half, which would give me good spindle sizes to work with. To minimize the stresses that come from rounding the stock, I would cut the four corners off with a bandsaw which would make the edges softer and easier to round off. You would be surprised how nice those spindles can look after a short time.


-- There is little that is simple when it comes to making a simple box.

View lew's profile


12019 posts in 3724 days

#8 posted 01-27-2010 11:18 PM

Wow, my heart really goes out to you. Being alone can be so painful. I agree with Jim about finding others with similar interest but sometime we are alone even in a crowd. I used to tell my kids (students) to look around when they were feeling down. Our school had many learning/physically disabled kids. They were always happy and ready to see what was next. When the “normal” kids felt down, I used to get them to help the others. They, then, saw their life was not so bad. Seems someone always has it worse. Sometimes we just need to be reminded of that.

I think lathe is going to be just what you need. Stuff takes shape before your eyes. You don’t have to wait for glued up panels to dry or spend hours milling up lumber before you can start to see progress. Take Honey into the shop and get her opinion on the projects, as they come tumbling off the lathe (figuratively- not literally!). As you make something, post it here. Let us see your progress and mistakes. You know we will be kind and help you get better. Go on line to “YouTube” and search for lathe demonstrations- there are a bunch. Look for “how to” use the tools you have, first. Then go into the shop and try it. Start with a roughing gouge. Then the parting tool or a scraper. These are the easiest to use. Leave the skew chisel in the box for a while- until you feel comfortable with the others. Make sure you have a full face shield and always use it.

Remember, you are not alone as long as you’re a Lumberjock!


-- Lew- Time traveler. Purveyor of the Universe's finest custom rolling pins.

View PG_Zac's profile


368 posts in 3357 days

#9 posted 01-27-2010 11:22 PM

Cher – I often work away from home for extended periods, so I can relate at least a little bit. Having a loving dog next to you does help and you have this virtual family of LJ’s that you can share your passion with.

Here’s an open invite to all LJ’s both South African and foreign – If you are ever heading towards Zululand please pop in for a visit (just check first if I’m home). We could probably spend some nattering about wood and possibly have a braai.

-- I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.

View odie's profile


1691 posts in 3809 days

#10 posted 01-27-2010 11:48 PM

Hello Cher, this is the first time we’ve talked. I haven’t a clue as to what woods you have. Something a little on the soft side. In the US I usually tell people to try Poplar, Pine, or even Mahogany. Keep those tools sharp and the rest will follow.

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". (my funny blog)

View NBeener's profile


4816 posts in 3143 days

#11 posted 01-28-2010 12:11 AM

Hi, Cher.

I lost three dear men within about 18mos: first, my beloved grandfather, then my 57 year-old father, then his 53 year-old brother—his only sibling.

It’s a pretty horrible thing. When we lose parents, we lose a connection with our history … among so many other types of loss.

I agree with the kind thoughts that so many others have shared with you, already. You may not have anybody with you, right now, but … you’re not alone in spirit. There’s some 15,000+ of us who are kindred spirits, and there for you in any way we can be.

I’ve also come to learn that … sometimes … I feel more alone in a group of people than I do, when I’m by myself.

It turns out … I’m pretty good company, after all :-)

Congrats on the new lathe. I hope the two of you make great projects, together!

May your time in your shop bring you peace, may your thoughts and memories of your mother be sweet, and may this feeling of loneliness soon pass.

-- -- Neil

View JAGWAH's profile


929 posts in 3053 days

#12 posted 01-28-2010 12:18 AM

I was gonna say, if your not to far far from Oklahoma… then realized your a wee bit away.

But thankfully as others have said your just a few key strokes away. There are no dum questions believe me I’ve tried.

And if you feel a question might be to silly and I say this to everyone, just e-mail anybody, I know they’ll be helpfull, we might giggle but we all will be helpful.

-- ~Just A Guy With A Hammer~

View Padre's profile


930 posts in 3458 days

#13 posted 01-28-2010 12:38 AM

Hi Cher, I am very saddened about your loneliness and your sorrow over your mother. Hopefully a friend will pop up, or you will find someone with common interests.

I think you would enjoy turning mahogany. It is a very nice wood to turn, even totally dry.

-- Chip ----------- 6:8

View TopamaxSurvivor's profile


18249 posts in 3645 days

#14 posted 01-28-2010 12:46 AM

Cher, Sorry to hear of your feeling so alone. You have many frineds on this site. We wil all support you anyway we can.

Let me know what you find out about lathes, I’m trying to get space for mine to set up :-))

-- Bob in WW ~ "some old things are lovely, warm still with life ... of the forgotten men who made them." - D.H. Lawrence

View NH_Hermit's profile


394 posts in 3065 days

#15 posted 01-28-2010 01:13 AM

Cher, I think it’s safe to say that many of us are here due to feelings of disconnect for a variety of reasons, and each of us have gained some connection with all the fine people here.

God bless!

-- John from Hampstead

showing 1 through 15 of 30 replies

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