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Forum topic by ashahidan posted 01-22-2010 12:46 AM 1332 views 0 times favorited 17 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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64 posts in 3298 days

01-22-2010 12:46 AM

Topic tags/keywords: contact invitations friendship help

Since joining Lumberjocks I have sent emails to other members who said they would be happy to receive emails on topics regarding woodworking or just to start new friendships. What I have found out is that many members just wouldn’t bother to reply the mails. This is rather unfortunate but is fact.

I always feel that if you do not wish to get any contact just say so. And nobody will bother you. And don’t invite other members to write to you if you too lazy to write back.

I always make a point to reply friendly personal mails and I feel that it is my duty to reply as I believe that when somebody writes to you he expects a reply. A simple “Thank you” will normally suffice.

-- asm

17 replies so far

View kolwdwrkr's profile


2821 posts in 3789 days

#1 posted 01-22-2010 12:52 AM

Most of the jocks here seem to be pretty good, honest people. Is it possible that the folks you have written have been away? Maybe sick? I would say try to send again and see what happens. Or simply try someone else. If you have questions why not post in the forums. Then more then one person will give an answer. Just a thought.

-- ~ Inspiring those who inspire me ~

View Padre's profile


930 posts in 3688 days

#2 posted 01-22-2010 01:45 AM

I see that you have been on this site for 56 days yet have only 6 posts, including this one. That might be the problem, is that you are not ‘publically’ known. Dive in, get involved, share your experiences and expertise! That way folks get to ‘know’ you and will be more inclined to answer your private messages.

And Koldwrkr is right on, if you have questions, you don’t need to keep it private. Post in the forums.

Just my $.02 worth.

-- Chip ----------- 6:8

View GMman's profile


3902 posts in 3897 days

#3 posted 01-22-2010 02:08 AM

I am with the two previous members, and email is only used with very close members the best way for you is PM a member, it is the same as an email in a way, it is private, then after that if someone wants to email you he will tell you.

View papadan's profile


3584 posts in 3567 days

#4 posted 01-22-2010 02:15 AM

+1 for Padres post.

View GMman's profile


3902 posts in 3897 days

#5 posted 01-22-2010 02:19 AM

+ 2 for Dan

View russv's profile


262 posts in 3368 days

#6 posted 01-22-2010 02:22 AM


there is an old saying, “you can pick your nose, you can pick your friends, you can’t pick your relatives.” what you need to understand is that THEY get to pick their friends too. Just because you want to be their friend, doesn’t mean they want to be your friend. i deal with emails and contacts all day, sometimes i take a break, even from my friends. don’t take it personal.

or . . . if they wont answer, send them an email twice a day till they respond. that will teach them


-- where to go because you don't want no stinking plastic!

View PurpLev's profile


8547 posts in 3848 days

#7 posted 01-22-2010 02:45 AM

some people might just be overly busy, and yes- some people may not have been honest. I find that some people don’t know how to decline a friendly offer sometimes and try to be ‘nice’ but in a way give you the wrong impression.

my suggestion as other have posted – be more active on the forums, and you’ll soon find out which members share your points of view, and your sense of humor with which you can form friendships, and which don’t.

don’t take it too personally, just like in life, there are million of people, with some we connect, with some we don’t .


-- ㊍ When in doubt - There is no doubt - Go the safer route.

View GMman's profile


3902 posts in 3897 days

#8 posted 01-22-2010 02:57 AM

asm Try PM messages

View TopamaxSurvivor's profile


18389 posts in 3875 days

#9 posted 01-22-2010 03:17 AM

some messages might be caught in spam filters becasue it it an unlkknown sender.

-- Bob in WW ~ "some old things are lovely, warm still with life ... of the forgotten men who made them." - D.H. Lawrence

View Blake's profile


3443 posts in 4073 days

#10 posted 01-22-2010 03:36 AM

Thats why we have personal messages through Lumberjocks. So we don’t have to give out our actual email address.

And yes, in this community the experience is enriched by the responses of many different viewpoints. In other words, post your questions and comments in the forums or write a blog and let it be a discussion (like THIS one.) You will find that the people who are interested in that particular topic WILL comment on it.

-- Happy woodworking!

View pete57's profile


134 posts in 3610 days

#11 posted 01-22-2010 08:18 AM

I have a couple guys that I talk to all the time and I sent them a PM in the beginniong and we are emailing one another from all over the world man!!. I look forward to seeing their messages on my personal email.
I comment on some and read alot of forums and blogs. I build chairs and other furniture, cabinets and the like. I kind of hang with those guys and the ones that I can learn from. I am not as active as I would like to be due to situations that are out of my control and dial up. there is one think to keep in mind and that is that 98% of the people love the aspect of working with thier hands. Some mix it up and use different composits and there are your purist. I have to believe that everyone that has these qualities are great people and have passion. There is a tight nitted kindred friendship with-in this cyber space immortal ooze of woodworking determination and passion. I am here to help if I can and be myself. I am also full of the other ooze as well. Welcome to a new and exciting journey dude!!!! It takes time so let it happen and it will. Respect is a great beginning.

-- Humble Wood Servant

View ashahidan's profile


64 posts in 3298 days

#12 posted 01-22-2010 04:42 PM

Thank you all for cooling me down. I know all of you mean well . As such let us forget that I ever raised the matter.
I read the forums as much as I can but I’m rather reserved ( no,not necessarily taciturn) and normally I’m reluctant to comment on anything unless I have something worthwhile to say.
Anyway I have to accept the that there are all kinds of individuals in this world . Live and let live….


-- asm

View GMman's profile


3902 posts in 3897 days

#13 posted 01-22-2010 04:46 PM

Post some work that you have done so we know you are for real .

View jpw1995's profile


376 posts in 4497 days

#14 posted 01-22-2010 07:53 PM

Hey RussV… I thought the saying was “You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friends’ nose.”

-- JP, Louisville, KY

View Gary's profile


9386 posts in 3632 days

#15 posted 01-22-2010 08:04 PM

About the “nose” When it goes on strike, you can pickit. Ohterwise….

-- Gary, DeKalb Texas only 4 miles from the mill

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