Just a little humor for the new year

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RetiredCoastie

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998 posts in 1350 days

1231 days ago

The Worlds Shortest Books.

THINGS I DID TO DESERVE
THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZ
by Barack Obama

OTHER BLACK PEOPLE I’VE MET WHILE YACHTING
by Tiger Woods

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan.
Illustrated by Michael Moore

MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS &
HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA
by Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
by Hillary Clinton

Sequel:
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
By Bill Clinton

MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE
by Osama Bin Laden

THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
by Bill Gates

THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
by Dennis Rodman

THINGS WE KNOW TO BE TRUE
by Al Gore & John Kerry

AMELIA EARHART’S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC

A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
by Dr. J.. Kevorkian

by Ellen de Generes & Rosie O’Donnel

GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
by Mike Tyson

THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY

MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
by O. J. Simpson

HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE SAFELY
by Ted Kennedy

MY BOOK OF MORALS
by Bill Clinton with introduction
by the Rev. Jesse Jackson

AND, JUST ADDED:

Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy!
By Nancy Pelosi

-- www.thepatriotwoodworker.com Proud Supporter of Homes For Our Troops

4 replies so far

patron home \| projects \| blog 12051 posts in 1508 days #1 posted 1231 days ago	the goverments handbook : fixing the economy ! -- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle
cliffton home \| projects \| blog 117 posts in 1248 days #2 posted 1231 days ago	How to secure your country while upholding the constitution by: G.W. Bush What to do to become president by: Barack Obama How to win wars by: Donald Rumsfeld How to make sure no one finds out what you did by: Jane Fonda
Moron home \| projects \| blog 4433 posts in 2061 days #3 posted 1231 days ago	Mother Theresa never wrote a book neither did Martin Luther King and for that matter, Jesus Christ didnt write the new testament but King James re-wrote it. -- "Good artists borrow, great artists steal”…..Picasso
Gene Howe home \| projects \| blog 3187 posts in 1596 days #4 posted 1231 days ago	A Clean Workshop By me -- Gene 'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

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Just a little humor for the new year

4 replies so far

Have your say...

Woodworking Skill Share
Your woodworking skills are displayed for several lifetimes in each project. Have you had to compromise your project...

Woodturning
On the lathe, by the lathe: do you have questions? frustrations? tips? This forum is for all the woodturners out there.

Woodcarving
Relief, 3D, chip-carving, whittling; carving knives, chisels, pocket-knives, power tools. If you are a carver or want...

Scrollsawing
Intarsia, fretwork, intricate design cutting and more! This forum is for scrollsawers: share your tips, ask questions...

Joinery
Have a question? a tip/strategy to share? a challenge, perhaps? Share your "joinery" discussion here.

Finishing
The finish, whether paint, wax, stain, or something else, can make or break a project. What are your tips and questio...

Designing Woodworking Projects
Looking for information on designing your projects? Having difficulties reading project plans? Looking for help with ...

Power Tools, Hardware and Accessories
Are you unsure of which tools, or hardware, you need, or which brands to buy? Investing in tools and hardware can be ...

Hand Tools
Wood, your hand tools, you and a little know-how. Share your questions, tips and strategies for the use and maintenan...

Jigs & Fixtures
Using a jig is like having a couple extra hands helping out. Show us your jigs, share your tips, strategies and, of c...

Wood & Lumber
Different wood requires different woodworking strategies - from cutting to finishing. Share your tips and challenges ...

Safety in the Woodworking Shop
Before you pick up those woodworking tools, take the time to ensure your safety in the shop! Eyes, ears, fingers, and...

Focus on the Workspace
Are you looking for or do you have tips to share regarding the workshop? Storage, equipment placement, efficiency, an...

Sweating for Bucks Through Woodworking
If you are selling your work, then you have entered a woodworking dimension with added complexity and stress. If you...

Woodworking Trade & Swap
All of us are holding onto treasure in our shops, that we either don't need, don't want, or could part with if presen...

LumberJocks.com Site Feedback
Connect with the Website Gurus and tell us what you are thinking, suggestions, problems, functionality issues, and so...

Coffee Lounge
Need a break from all the standing and wood dust? Chat with your Forum Friends about their projects, their life, thei...

LumberJocks Pulse

Ash and Mahogany keepsake box

Handplanes of your dreams

Unmotivated with small shop

"Some days you're the hydrant......some days you're the dog."

Creating compound curves with plywood?

Escritar's Profile

Diamond Cutting board 2 End grain

Bangle for my wife

Arts and Crafts Nightstand #2: Web Frames and Back Panel

Off-topic content. Click to see the post.

Just a little humor for the new year

4 replies so far

Have your say...

Woodworking Skill Share Your woodworking skills are displayed for several lifetimes in each project. Have you had to compromise your project...

Woodturning On the lathe, by the lathe: do you have questions? frustrations? tips? This forum is for all the woodturners out there.

Woodcarving Relief, 3D, chip-carving, whittling; carving knives, chisels, pocket-knives, power tools. If you are a carver or want...

Scrollsawing Intarsia, fretwork, intricate design cutting and more! This forum is for scrollsawers: share your tips, ask questions...

Joinery Have a question? a tip/strategy to share? a challenge, perhaps? Share your "joinery" discussion here.

Finishing The finish, whether paint, wax, stain, or something else, can make or break a project. What are your tips and questio...

Designing Woodworking Projects Looking for information on designing your projects? Having difficulties reading project plans? Looking for help with ...

Power Tools, Hardware and Accessories Are you unsure of which tools, or hardware, you need, or which brands to buy? Investing in tools and hardware can be ...

Hand Tools Wood, your hand tools, you and a little know-how. Share your questions, tips and strategies for the use and maintenan...

Jigs & Fixtures Using a jig is like having a couple extra hands helping out. Show us your jigs, share your tips, strategies and, of c...

Wood & Lumber Different wood requires different woodworking strategies - from cutting to finishing. Share your tips and challenges ...

Safety in the Woodworking Shop Before you pick up those woodworking tools, take the time to ensure your safety in the shop! Eyes, ears, fingers, and...

Focus on the Workspace Are you looking for or do you have tips to share regarding the workshop? Storage, equipment placement, efficiency, an...

Sweating for Bucks Through Woodworking If you are selling your work, then you have entered a woodworking dimension with added complexity and stress. If you...

Woodworking Trade & Swap All of us are holding onto treasure in our shops, that we either don't need, don't want, or could part with if presen...

LumberJocks.com Site Feedback Connect with the Website Gurus and tell us what you are thinking, suggestions, problems, functionality issues, and so...

Coffee Lounge Need a break from all the standing and wood dust? Chat with your Forum Friends about their projects, their life, thei...

LumberJocks Pulse

Woodworking Skill Share
Your woodworking skills are displayed for several lifetimes in each project. Have you had to compromise your project...

Woodturning
On the lathe, by the lathe: do you have questions? frustrations? tips? This forum is for all the woodturners out there.

Woodcarving
Relief, 3D, chip-carving, whittling; carving knives, chisels, pocket-knives, power tools. If you are a carver or want...

Scrollsawing
Intarsia, fretwork, intricate design cutting and more! This forum is for scrollsawers: share your tips, ask questions...

Joinery
Have a question? a tip/strategy to share? a challenge, perhaps? Share your "joinery" discussion here.

Finishing
The finish, whether paint, wax, stain, or something else, can make or break a project. What are your tips and questio...

Designing Woodworking Projects
Looking for information on designing your projects? Having difficulties reading project plans? Looking for help with ...

Power Tools, Hardware and Accessories
Are you unsure of which tools, or hardware, you need, or which brands to buy? Investing in tools and hardware can be ...

Hand Tools
Wood, your hand tools, you and a little know-how. Share your questions, tips and strategies for the use and maintenan...

Jigs & Fixtures
Using a jig is like having a couple extra hands helping out. Show us your jigs, share your tips, strategies and, of c...

Wood & Lumber
Different wood requires different woodworking strategies - from cutting to finishing. Share your tips and challenges ...

Safety in the Woodworking Shop
Before you pick up those woodworking tools, take the time to ensure your safety in the shop! Eyes, ears, fingers, and...

Focus on the Workspace
Are you looking for or do you have tips to share regarding the workshop? Storage, equipment placement, efficiency, an...

Sweating for Bucks Through Woodworking
If you are selling your work, then you have entered a woodworking dimension with added complexity and stress. If you...

Woodworking Trade & Swap
All of us are holding onto treasure in our shops, that we either don't need, don't want, or could part with if presen...

LumberJocks.com Site Feedback
Connect with the Website Gurus and tell us what you are thinking, suggestions, problems, functionality issues, and so...

Coffee Lounge
Need a break from all the standing and wood dust? Chat with your Forum Friends about their projects, their life, thei...