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Forum topic by kiefer posted 12-04-2015 08:34 PM 846 views 0 times favorited 15 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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4951 posts in 2213 days

12-04-2015 08:34 PM

Topic tags/keywords: humor

So…this retired guy sits around the house all day…wife says, “You could do something useful, like vacuum the house once a week.”
Guy gives it a moment’s thought and says, “Sure why not…show me to the vacuum.”

Half an hour later, the guy comes into the kitchen to get some coffee. Wife says, “I didn’t hear the vacuum work, I thought you were using it?”

Exasperated man answers, “The stupid thing is broken, won’t start…got to buy a new one.”
“Really”, she says…, “Show me – it worked fine the last time.” So he did ……


-- Kiefer

15 replies so far

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1111 posts in 1352 days

#1 posted 12-04-2015 08:39 PM

Your pulling to hard! Slow down, better yet have the Little Woman start it for you. LOL!

-- Lifting one end of the plank.

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7632 posts in 1553 days

#2 posted 12-04-2015 08:45 PM

When I worked at the big orange box one of the employees came into the break room laughing. We asked what was so funny and he told us that before leaving for work that morning he had told his 16 year old daughter to clean her room, and he specifically told her to vacuum the carpet.

When he went home for lunch he noticed her room had been “SORT OF” rearranged so as to look neater, but she had certainly NOT vacuumed the carpet. When he asked her why she didn’t do it, she said (Apparently with a straight face) ”I don know how to run the vacuum and Mom told me she didn’t have time to teach me”

-- Perform A Random Act Of Kindness Today ... Pay It Forward

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2450 posts in 2060 days

#3 posted 12-04-2015 08:50 PM

That’s reminds me of the old story about the woodcutter who bought his very first chain saw and went out to load up his lumber truck.

About eight hours later, he showed back up at the store where he bought the saw. “Doggone thing don’t work worth a hoot”, he complained to the sales person.

The sales person took the saw, and proceeded to start it up.

The woodcutter looked at him and said, “What’s that noise?”

-- Paul, Tennessee,

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7887 posts in 2389 days

#4 posted 12-04-2015 08:51 PM

LOL! Did you know that 1/2 the people we deal with have IQ’s below 100!

-- Cau Haus Designs, Thomas J. Tieffenbacher

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4726 posts in 1745 days

#5 posted 12-04-2015 08:55 PM

LOL – also reminds me of a joke I once heard about something overheard from a honeymoon suite in a hotel… the punch line was “Suck honey, suck!!! Blow is just a figure of speech”


-- Brad in FL - To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid

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2450 posts in 2060 days

#6 posted 12-04-2015 09:03 PM

Walkin’ the line there, Brad!

1/2 the people have IQ’s below 100? That explains shopping at Walmart.

Sorry keifer – seems like we’ve hijacked your thread!

-- Paul, Tennessee,

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7342 posts in 2344 days

#7 posted 12-04-2015 09:32 PM

That’s funny Klaus!

-- Paul M ..............If God wanted us to have fiberglass boats he would have given us fibreglass trees.

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5563 posts in 1589 days

#8 posted 12-04-2015 09:45 PM

Made me laugh Klaus. Everyone knows you have to put gas in before you pull start.

-- Dave, Downers Grove, Il. -------- When you run out of ideas, start building your dreams.

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woodshaver (Tony)

4359 posts in 2899 days

#9 posted 12-04-2015 10:06 PM

Klause, Your humor is showing! Pull the plug clean it!

-- Tony UAW, St Augustine FL, My high school shop teacher said "You can do it.." Now I can't stop!

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2099 posts in 1714 days

#10 posted 12-04-2015 10:33 PM

Thanks Klaus for making me laugh.

I had the same problem with my vacuum cleaner. I have bought a new one.

-- My englisch is bad but how is your dutch?

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15512 posts in 2880 days

#11 posted 12-05-2015 10:15 AM

What a coincidence, the same thing happened to me! Thanks for the laugh Klaus.

-- Mike, an American living in Norway.

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634 posts in 2230 days

#12 posted 12-05-2015 11:23 AM

Klaus your using the wrong hand. It’s a left handed model….I have one of those and of course I can’t use it being right handed and all… We have one of those carpet steam cleaners, but it won’t run either – I don’t have a current bush to plug the dang thing into….

-- To realize our true destiny, we must be guided not by a myth from our past, but by a vision of our future

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20308 posts in 2350 days

#13 posted 12-26-2015 04:57 PM

Very funny Klaus. This reminds me of the time when I was visiting a friend. He was hoeing his garden and his daughter was just standing there watching him. I asked her: “why aren’t you helping your dad?”, her response was this: “dad don’t have a left-handed hoe”..........true story

-- Roger from KY. Work/Play/Travel Safe. Keep your dust collector fed.

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3979 posts in 1812 days

#14 posted 12-26-2015 05:55 PM

Showed this to my wife. She’s still laughing!

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20308 posts in 2350 days

#15 posted 12-26-2015 07:40 PM

Laughter is the best medicine. :)

-- Roger from KY. Work/Play/Travel Safe. Keep your dust collector fed.

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