Tiger Woods Holiday Poem‏

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Forum topic by TopamaxSurvivor posted 12-29-2009 07:18 AM 1104 views 0 times favorited 9 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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18092 posts in 3515 days

12-29-2009 07:18 AM

Topic tags/keywords: tiger woods humor

Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house

Tiger Woods came a flyin’, chased by his spouse.

She wielded a nine iron and wasn’t too merry,

Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.

He’d been cheatin’ on Elin, and the story progressed.

Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.

He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,

With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.

From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,

Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.

With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,

When not in their pants, he was sendin’ them texts.

Despite all his cryin’ and beggin’ and pleadin’,

Tiger’s wife went investin’—a new home in Sweden.

And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,

“If you’re gettin’ laid then I’m gettin’ paid.”

She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,

Her pre-nup made Christmas come early this year.

-- Bob in WW ~ "some old things are lovely, warm still with life ... of the forgotten men who made them." - D.H. Lawrence

9 replies so far

View Dez's profile


1166 posts in 3917 days

#1 posted 12-29-2009 07:35 AM

Too Funny, Too True!

-- Folly ever comes cloaked in opportunity!

View degoose's profile


7223 posts in 3194 days

#2 posted 12-29-2009 10:23 AM

i hear she is the top golfer after beating the world number one… and that way only because he played the wrong holes…
Life is a beach,...

-- Don't drink and use power tools @

View cstrang's profile


1831 posts in 3008 days

#3 posted 12-29-2009 02:25 PM

hahahaha! thats great! needed a good laugh this morning.

-- A hammer dangling from a wall will bang and sound like work when the wind blows the right way.

View miles125's profile


2180 posts in 3845 days

#4 posted 12-29-2009 02:40 PM

I’m with Clint Eastwood who said the other day he was even more impessed with Tiger knowing that all the times he was out on the golf course he wasn’t even thinking about golf…lol

-- "The way to make a small fortune in woodworking- start with a large one"

View CharlieM1958's profile


16272 posts in 4058 days

#5 posted 12-29-2009 04:05 PM

Rumor has it that there were a total of eighteen women involved. Half are well-endowed in the chest area, and the other half have great behinds.

Tiger refers to them as the “front nine” and the “back nine”.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View dustygirl's profile


862 posts in 3568 days

#6 posted 12-29-2009 05:45 PM

Good one.Thanks for the laugh.

-- Dustygirl..Hastings,Ontario.. How much wood can 1 gal chuck if 1 gal can't cut wood?

View BreakingBoardom's profile


615 posts in 2921 days

#7 posted 12-29-2009 05:53 PM

Nice poem. I’ve heard plenty of Tiger jokes lately but this was nice.

-- Matt -

View Abbott's profile


2570 posts in 3143 days

#8 posted 12-30-2009 09:51 PM

The guy is unbelievable. At this point in time if you looked up FecK_up in the dictionary you would see a picture of him. I don’t understood why some folks get married if they are going to behave that way, what a disgrace.

-- Ohh mann...pancakes and boobies...I'll bet that's what Heaven is like! ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣

View TopamaxSurvivor's profile


18092 posts in 3515 days

#9 posted 12-30-2009 10:03 PM

It does make you wonder?? Statistically, the taller you are the, more likely you are to do that sort of thing.

Yesterday, the mentioned in the news that Tiger’s sponsors have lost 12 million in market capitalizaion since his auto accident at Thanksgiving. This is at a time when the markets are at an annual high.

-- Bob in WW ~ "some old things are lovely, warm still with life ... of the forgotten men who made them." - D.H. Lawrence

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