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Politically Correct 12 Days of Christmas

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Forum topic by Karson posted 12-25-2009 08:40 PM 1327 views 0 times favorited 12 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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Karson

35035 posts in 3866 days


12-25-2009 08:40 PM

Topic tags/keywords: humor

Dock16 asked what we got for Christmas. This is my politically correct Christmas Gift List.

Politically Correct 12 Days of Christmas

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my significant other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note),

TEN melanin-deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,

SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,

FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration,

(NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens, and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.)

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs,

THREE deconstructionist poets,

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses, and

ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

Merry Christmas.
Happy Chanukah/Hanukkah.
Good Kwanzaa.
Blessed Yule.
Oh, heck! Happy Holidays!!!! (unless otherwise prohibited by
law)

Unless, of course, you are suffering from Seasonally Affected Disorder (SAD). If this be the case, please substitute this gratuitous call for celebration with a suggestion that you have a thoroughly adequate day.

-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Southern Delaware soon moving to Virginia karsonwm@gmail.com †


12 replies so far

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patron

13538 posts in 2806 days


#1 posted 12-25-2009 09:14 PM

wow , makes me happy i didn’t go to college .

i’m way beneath all that stuff !

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

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Dusty56

11806 posts in 3153 days


#2 posted 12-25-2009 10:18 PM

Isn’t it sad that we can’t wish each other a Merry Christmas without wondering if we are offending the other person nowadays ?....I actually have to stop myself from saying “those words” after 53 years and go with the Happy Holidays greeting instead.
So Happy Holidays to all of you wonderful people no matter what your beliefs are !! : )
Peace and Happiness to all : )

-- I'm absolutely positive that I couldn't be more uncertain!

View degoose's profile

degoose

7196 posts in 2820 days


#3 posted 12-25-2009 10:19 PM

i just built a bridge and got over it… I am always in the doodoo about being non PC .. Oh well
Very Funny Karson.

-- Drink twice... and don't bother to cut... @ lazylarrywoodworks.com.au For lovers of all things timber...

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Abbott

2570 posts in 2769 days


#4 posted 12-25-2009 11:01 PM

Fun stuff. Merry Christmas Karson and to all!

-- Ohh mann...pancakes and boobies...I'll bet that's what Heaven is like! ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣

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woodsmithshop

1253 posts in 3011 days


#5 posted 12-25-2009 11:18 PM

there is a saying about PC, it involves a lot of big words that boil down basically to say that to be PC, you have to believe it is possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

-- Smitty!!!

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cabinetmaster

10874 posts in 3024 days


#6 posted 12-25-2009 11:35 PM

Merry Christmas to all and to all a Good Night,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

-- Jerry--A man can never have enough tools or clamps

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rtb

1101 posts in 3178 days


#7 posted 12-26-2009 05:26 AM

Karson have you been at the eggnog again ??

-- RTB. stray animals are just looking for love

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Tim Pletcher

90 posts in 2539 days


#8 posted 12-27-2009 04:18 AM

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DrDirt

4169 posts in 3208 days


#9 posted 12-27-2009 05:28 AM

Merry Christmas Karson…..Those that don’t want to are welcom to have a miserable a christmas as they choose.

-- 'Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners' ~George Carlin

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Dusty56

11806 posts in 3153 days


#10 posted 12-27-2009 06:42 AM

Well I thought I was safe in asking a young mother that works in a local restaurant if she and the kids had a nice Christmas and managed to put my foot in my mouth as she replied “oh, we don’t celebrate Christmas.”
I wished her a Happy New Year with a smile and went back to minding my own business : ( LOL

-- I'm absolutely positive that I couldn't be more uncertain!

View Innovator's profile

Innovator

3584 posts in 2879 days


#11 posted 12-27-2009 07:27 PM

Great Stuff Karson

Merry Chriatmas

-- Whether You Think You Can or You Think You Can't, YOU ARE RIGHT!!!

View Taigert's profile

Taigert

593 posts in 3306 days


#12 posted 12-28-2009 05:59 AM

Karson
You could have been a lawyer, in a past and or present life.

Taigert

-- Taigert - Milan, IN

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