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Forum topic by a1Jim posted 12-13-2009 08:24 PM 2013 views 1 time favorited 49 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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117063 posts in 3546 days

12-13-2009 08:24 PM

Topic tags/keywords: posting

In a way this post is juxtaposition in it self. Days and weeks gone by I’ve seen and unfortunately been involved with some post that seem to grow more and more negative. Some of the post were suggesting that we should limit how and who should post, and of course like any post they had a variety of responses including PMs to posters . The one I was involved in I PMed someone and suggested they were bringing down the posting standards of LJ. After a day or so I realized I was doing what I think is a 110% wrong by telling others what to do and how to post thus I sent an apology to the person I PMed. Shortly after this episode a LJ member that had sent me a number PMs several months ago saying I should post in more detail and keep track of past post in and that one word post were a waste of time in a way that I thought was a very negative way, in short this person sent me a Pm to apologise(thanks again) for the PMs of the past himself realizing it’s not our place to tell others how to post. So when I post now I try to speak in general rather than to engage in personal attacks . This seems to be a good way (as far as I can see) to express a difference an opinion with out making LJs a negative unfriendly place(the complete opposite of what it usually is) In saying that we should keep it positive and friendly I know that I’m suggesting a proper way to post thus the juxtaposition.
I want to wish you and yours all a joyous holiday season.

-- wood crafting & woodworking classes

49 replies so far

View BarbS's profile


2434 posts in 4055 days

#1 posted 12-13-2009 08:29 PM

Thanks for the reminder Jim. I’ve learned the hard way to stop and read my postings, and try to consider them from the receiving end, before hitting the send button. My sense of humor is sometimes misinterpreted, sadly!


View cstrang's profile


1832 posts in 3138 days

#2 posted 12-13-2009 08:34 PM

I too have been involved in some racy posts the past few weeks, I must say I agree with you 100% Jim. If we feel the need to disagree with anyone’s personal views, do it in a private, constructive and non-confrontational way. As Barbs said,thanks for the reminder. And I wish you, your family and all of my fellow Lj’s out there happy holidays and a prosperous new year.

-- A hammer dangling from a wall will bang and sound like work when the wind blows the right way.

View NBeener's profile


4816 posts in 3143 days

#3 posted 12-13-2009 08:38 PM

Thank you, Jim, and … thank you, David (Patron) for your contributions on this subject.

I try to remind myself—frequently—that while the computer DOES NOT allow people to gauge tone of voice, body language, or other contextual clues (and that little emoticons [;-p] may not say enough), I also try to remember a PLUS to the written word:

I shouldn’t really ever write anything that I have to take back, later (I surely have!!! But I shouldn’t!).

Writing gives us that critical moment to pause, exhale, take a walk, get some coffee, or … in some other way … remove ourselves from the passion and the tension of the moment.

Since we cannot see the impact of our words on the reader, we should all take the time required to at least re-read our words before hitting the “Send” button (or equivalent). As BarbS implied, sometimes waiting an hour … or a day … before hitting the send button … will allow you a fresh perspective.

I wish everybody a happy, healthy holiday season, full of too much food and sawdust!!

-- -- Neil

View BlankMan's profile


1490 posts in 3322 days

#4 posted 12-13-2009 08:39 PM

I agree Jim, and I think we all need to remember that they are just opinions and they are based on what the person knows/believes. And if we step back for a moment especially when sometimes gets our ire up and remember the persons intentions are meant to be good and maybe they don’t express themselves the best or it’s misinterpreted maybe that might help. I catch myself when I see something and think that’s the wrong way, no, it might not be my right way but usually there are many right ways

-- -Curt, Milwaukee, WI

View a1Jim's profile


117063 posts in 3546 days

#5 posted 12-13-2009 08:39 PM

Hey barbs
I have the same problem, a sense of humor that leaves some saying, huh
When I think what I’m saying is suppose to be funny I put the good old” LOL or :-)) “but it still leaves some folks confused about my twisted or corny sense of humor.

-- wood crafting & woodworking classes

View poopiekat's profile


4349 posts in 3704 days

#6 posted 12-13-2009 08:42 PM

Thanks for the words, a1Jim!
I tried to express a minor epiphany a month or so ago, about how we are all very diverse people tied by our one single bond: our love of woodworking. This was due to the fact that I’d see reactions from people that were totally unexpected, sometimes downright contrary, and even the occaisional personal attack that takes everyone by surprise. I too am puzzled by the users who wish to put an element of control over our participation here, such as limiting the participation in forums or controlling our project postings. Most of us used to think that it was the subjects of religion or politics that erupted in flames here; but now we’ve all seen how any topic can bring out the worst in some people.
I look forward to your typically pleasant, astute observations, and kind words for all.

-- Einstein: "The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." I'm Poopiekat!!

View BlankMan's profile


1490 posts in 3322 days

#7 posted 12-13-2009 08:44 PM

Neil, very good point. You don’t know how many times I let something upset me, started writing an email didn’t finish it or put it in the draft folder and came back hours or a day later and was soooo glad it was never sent. I try to do just that now, walk away for a while, I slip up, but not near as much as I used to. Even more, I try to head it off by not letting things upset me.

-- -Curt, Milwaukee, WI

View GFYS's profile


711 posts in 3440 days

#8 posted 12-13-2009 09:18 PM

OH! Barbs is your NAME! I thought it was your posting style! JUST KIDDING! :D

View Abbott's profile


2570 posts in 3273 days

#9 posted 12-13-2009 09:19 PM

I have been attacked a couple of times as well and it always seems to be the same people that also attack others. But all in all this is a very calm place to hang out with adult posters when compared to the rest of the Internet.

I think the same way Jim and try to be careful what I post so some folks don’t take (to much) offense to something I might say. I also try and keep my true thoughts on some subjects to myself as not to start a negative thread or send a thread off on a negative tangent. Sometimes I am amazed at some of the complaint threads that seem so petty to me but I do try and realize that some folks have egos with a need to be fed. Overall its only a small thing and this is a friendly, helpful and useful website.

Merry Christmas to all!

-- Ohh mann...pancakes and boobies...I'll bet that's what Heaven is like! ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣

View GFYS's profile


711 posts in 3440 days

#10 posted 12-13-2009 09:26 PM

Principles before Personalities people!

View BarbS's profile


2434 posts in 4055 days

#11 posted 12-13-2009 09:30 PM

why do you think I Chose Barbs? heh.


View SEE's profile


119 posts in 3137 days

#12 posted 12-13-2009 09:41 PM

Jim, This is a good post that makes some excellent points. We SHOULD keep things positive. Most of us are here to learn, share what we’ve learned and to encourage and be encouraged.

I’ve found that on many forums, woodworking and other topics as well, that there will always be a few people who are simply antagonistic. Generally, I try to ignore those people.

There’s a huge difference in constructive criticism and personal criticism. On another forum that I frequent there’s this one fella that will always, and mean always, find something to criticize about another person’s work. Furthermore, it’s not in a constructive way, usually mean spirited. I’ve learned to ignore jerks like that when they criticize my work. However, when they criticize a fellow woodworker, I make it a point to rebut his criticism in the topic thread, hoping that the person who is posting pics of their project will realize that the mean spirited fella is simply expressing his always negative point of view.

AMEN, keep it positive.

-- Build for the joy of it!

View patron's profile


13600 posts in 3310 days

#13 posted 12-13-2009 09:45 PM

as we all know ,
even with our loved ones ,
face to face ,
it is sometimes easy to miss communicate .

some times i don’t feel good ,
sometimes they don’t feel good .

we can only be ourselves ,
and be as kind and considerate as we are capable of .

across the e-waves ,
it can even be harder .

thank you jim ,
your comments to me ,
show the caring person that you are ,
whether short ,
or humorous ,
the fact that you noticed ,
is always welcome ,
and many new LJ’s welcome your comments also .

everyone wants a little ’ atta boy ’ once in a while .

if we can’t say hello in a friendly way ,
we can forget world peace !

wishing you all a great holidays !

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

View LesB's profile


1688 posts in 3412 days

#14 posted 12-13-2009 10:14 PM

You are right Jim, but I think it is all about the 10%ers of any group. There are always 10% who cause conflicts.
10% Jerks
10% insensitive
10% ignorant
10% do-gooders
And .1% who are just evil
And so on. I just try to ignore them and hope I haven’t occasionally slipped into one of those groups.

Conversely too much sensitivity leads to a reluctance to make any constructive comments at all for fear of offending someone. Some of us seek constructive comments on our work and a few even put the request for them in the comments of their posting.

-- Les B, Oregon

View MsDebbieP's profile


18615 posts in 4130 days

#15 posted 12-13-2009 10:21 PM

and remember that sometimes “no comment” is the best comment. When negativity sets in even good intentions keep it growing. In such cases your wisdom is best kept to yourself and let the negativity fizzle.

-- ~ Debbie, Canada (

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