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Forum topic by degoose posted 1721 days ago 1094 views 0 times favorited 13 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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degoose

6996 posts in 1989 days


1721 days ago

Topic tags/keywords: humor jokes

HIGH SCHOOL—1959 vs. 2009

Scenario 1:

Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck’s gun rack.

1959 – Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2009 – School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario 2:

Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1959 – Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2009 – Police called and SWAT team arrives—they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario 3:

Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.

1959 – Jeffrey sent to the Principal’s office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2009 – Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD.. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1959 – Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.

2009 – Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5:

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1959 – Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock..

2009 – The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations.. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6:

Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed..

1959 – Ants die.

2009 -ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents—and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny’s dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 7:

Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1959 – In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2009 – Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

This should hit every email inbox to show how stupid we have become

-- Drink twice... and don't bother to cut... @ lazylarrywoodworks.com.au For lovers of all things timber...


13 replies so far

View a1Jim's profile

a1Jim

112018 posts in 2211 days


#1 posted 1721 days ago

Hey Larry
Lets go back to 1959

-- http://artisticwoodstudio.com Custom furniture

View degoose's profile

degoose

6996 posts in 1989 days


#2 posted 1721 days ago

In a snap Jim… the times were simpler then I think… but hey what would I know I was only 1 year old.

-- Drink twice... and don't bother to cut... @ lazylarrywoodworks.com.au For lovers of all things timber...

View degoose's profile

degoose

6996 posts in 1989 days


#3 posted 1721 days ago

In a snap Jim… the times were simpler then I think… but hey what would I know I was only 1 year old.

-- Drink twice... and don't bother to cut... @ lazylarrywoodworks.com.au For lovers of all things timber...

View blackcherry's profile

blackcherry

3156 posts in 2457 days


#4 posted 1721 days ago

Brings new meaning to the phase “THE GOOD OLD DAYS”

View a1Jim's profile

a1Jim

112018 posts in 2211 days


#5 posted 1721 days ago

Me too Larry LOL

-- http://artisticwoodstudio.com Custom furniture

View patron's profile

patron

13020 posts in 1975 days


#6 posted 1721 days ago

yes , the good old days ,
i was working as a dishwasher ,
in a greasy spoon in Florida ,
6 nights a week ( graveyard shift ) ,
for $30.00 a week and 1 hamburger ,

went to N.Y.C. with a lesbian ,
and got a job on wall street !

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

View cabinetmaster's profile

cabinetmaster

10874 posts in 2192 days


#7 posted 1721 days ago

Larry and Jim, I feel that we should go back there too. Those were the good ole days. Let the teachers discipline and they will change the problems we have in the schools.

-- Jerry--A man can never have enough tools or clamps

View CharlieM1958's profile

CharlieM1958

15691 posts in 2853 days


#8 posted 1721 days ago

Thses would be funny if they weren’t so true!

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View Lee A. Jesberger's profile

Lee A. Jesberger

6647 posts in 2614 days


#9 posted 1721 days ago

Now that’s progress!

Lee

-- by Lee A. Jesberger http://www.prowoodworkingtips.com http://www.ezee-feed.com

View stefang's profile

stefang

12953 posts in 1968 days


#10 posted 1719 days ago

To keep this in a woodworking frame of reference Larry, I believe a simple wooden paddle with holes in it might help save the world, or a least our part of it.

-- Mike, an American living in Norway.

View Broda's profile

Broda

313 posts in 2153 days


#11 posted 1719 days ago

“In a snap Jim… the times were simpler then I think….”

remember, in 1959 Torque Work Centers weren’t invented yet! lol

-- BRODY. NSW AUSTRALIA -arguments with turnings are rarely productive-

View Gary's profile

Gary

7113 posts in 2067 days


#12 posted 1719 days ago

Just imagine…these will be the “good old days” to some folks. Even tho I loved that time, I don’t want to go back. There’s too much between then and now that I don’t want to re-live.

-- Gary, DeKalb Texas only 4 miles from the mill

View Mark's profile

Mark

1787 posts in 1908 days


#13 posted 1719 days ago

Thats right! I WON THE FIGHT! Jeez we did get stupider :S

-- My purpose in life: Making sawdust

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