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Forum topic by degoose posted 12-13-2009 07:15 AM 1509 views 0 times favorited 13 replies Add to Favorites Watch
View degoose's profile


7228 posts in 3284 days

12-13-2009 07:15 AM

Topic tags/keywords: humor jokes

HIGH SCHOOL—1959 vs. 2009

Scenario 1:

Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck’s gun rack.

1959 – Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2009 – School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario 2:

Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1959 – Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2009 – Police called and SWAT team arrives—they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario 3:

Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.

1959 – Jeffrey sent to the Principal’s office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2009 – Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD.. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1959 – Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.

2009 – Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5:

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1959 – Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock..

2009 – The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations.. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6:

Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed..

1959 – Ants die.

2009 -ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents—and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny’s dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 7:

Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1959 – In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2009 – Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

This should hit every email inbox to show how stupid we have become

-- Don't drink and use power tools @

13 replies so far

View a1Jim's profile


117028 posts in 3507 days

#1 posted 12-13-2009 07:29 AM

Hey Larry
Lets go back to 1959

-- wood crafting & classes

View degoose's profile


7228 posts in 3284 days

#2 posted 12-13-2009 07:32 AM

In a snap Jim… the times were simpler then I think… but hey what would I know I was only 1 year old.

-- Don't drink and use power tools @

View degoose's profile


7228 posts in 3284 days

#3 posted 12-13-2009 07:33 AM

In a snap Jim… the times were simpler then I think… but hey what would I know I was only 1 year old.

-- Don't drink and use power tools @

View blackcherry's profile


3337 posts in 3753 days

#4 posted 12-13-2009 07:33 AM

Brings new meaning to the phase “THE GOOD OLD DAYS”

View a1Jim's profile


117028 posts in 3507 days

#5 posted 12-13-2009 07:36 AM

Me too Larry LOL

-- wood crafting & classes

View patron's profile


13598 posts in 3271 days

#6 posted 12-13-2009 09:00 AM

yes , the good old days ,
i was working as a dishwasher ,
in a greasy spoon in Florida ,
6 nights a week ( graveyard shift ) ,
for $30.00 a week and 1 hamburger ,

went to N.Y.C. with a lesbian ,
and got a job on wall street !

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

View cabinetmaster's profile


10874 posts in 3488 days

#7 posted 12-13-2009 04:43 PM

Larry and Jim, I feel that we should go back there too. Those were the good ole days. Let the teachers discipline and they will change the problems we have in the schools.

-- Jerry--A man can never have enough tools or clamps

View CharlieM1958's profile


16273 posts in 4148 days

#8 posted 12-13-2009 04:59 PM

Thses would be funny if they weren’t so true!

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View Lee A. Jesberger's profile

Lee A. Jesberger

6850 posts in 3909 days

#9 posted 12-13-2009 05:17 PM

Now that’s progress!


-- by Lee A. Jesberger

View stefang's profile


15859 posts in 3264 days

#10 posted 12-15-2009 12:23 AM

To keep this in a woodworking frame of reference Larry, I believe a simple wooden paddle with holes in it might help save the world, or a least our part of it.

-- Mike, an American living in Norway.

View Broda's profile


313 posts in 3449 days

#11 posted 12-15-2009 12:55 AM

“In a snap Jim… the times were simpler then I think….”

remember, in 1959 Torque Work Centers weren’t invented yet! lol

-- BRODY. NSW AUSTRALIA -arguments with turnings are rarely productive-

View Gary's profile


9311 posts in 3363 days

#12 posted 12-15-2009 03:04 AM

Just imagine…these will be the “good old days” to some folks. Even tho I loved that time, I don’t want to go back. There’s too much between then and now that I don’t want to re-live.

-- Gary, DeKalb Texas only 4 miles from the mill

View Mark's profile


1807 posts in 3204 days

#13 posted 12-15-2009 04:38 AM

Thats right! I WON THE FIGHT! Jeez we did get stupider :S

-- M.K.

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