|Forum topic by cabinetmaster||posted 1555 days ago||998 views||1 time favorited||24 replies|
1555 days ago
I haven’t posted any humor here lately but Lazy Larry. This ones for you. You can’t help but laugh at this one.
WHY WOMEN SHOULDN’T TAKE MEN SHOPPING
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
Dear Mrs. Samuel:
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We
Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented
by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he’d
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed,
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible’
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position
And last, but not least:
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled
-- Jerry--A man can never have enough tools or clamps