|Forum topic by degoose||posted 12-07-2009 11:27 AM||1220 views||0 times favorited||22 replies|
12-07-2009 11:27 AM
I hope this passes for humour.. Martin
These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins!)
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns , Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )
Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? ( USA )
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )
A: It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q:Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas. _
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first
-- Drink twice... and don't bother to cut... @ lazylarrywoodworks.com.au For lovers of all things timber...