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Forum topic by papadan posted 11-17-2009 05:09 AM 1083 views 0 times favorited 7 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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3584 posts in 3365 days

11-17-2009 05:09 AM

Topic tags/keywords: humor

7 replies so far

View GMman's profile


3902 posts in 3694 days

#1 posted 11-17-2009 05:10 AM

Very good

View huff's profile


2828 posts in 3281 days

#2 posted 11-17-2009 05:21 AM

13,755 members… you think? way…...........well maybe…..........whatcha think Dan? LOL

-- John @

View CharlieM1958's profile


16274 posts in 4215 days

#3 posted 11-17-2009 05:23 AM

If you can’t figure ‘em out, get the heck out of their way!

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View scrappy's profile


3507 posts in 3427 days

#4 posted 11-18-2009 07:13 AM

Yes Dear and Whatever You Want Dear Are my 2 most used frazes. hahaha


-- Scrap Wood's the best...the projects are smaller, and so is the mess!

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 3431 days

#5 posted 11-18-2009 07:23 AM

I thought about the 30 year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a Blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures and communicated with Facebook and Twitter.

I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.
That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world. My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it’s red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife as everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to use it and I got a little loud.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, “Re-calc-ul-ating” You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then when I would make a right turn instead, it was not good. When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GSP lady, at least she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We’ve had them for 4 years, but I still haven’t figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.
The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden “Paper or Plastic?” every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused but I never remember to take them in with me. Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, “Paper or Plastic?” I just say, “Doesn’t matter to me. I am bi-sacksual..” Then it’s their turn to stare at me with a blank look.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View Rick  Dennington's profile (online now)

Rick Dennington

5856 posts in 3191 days

#6 posted 11-18-2009 07:52 AM

Roger: You are too funny,man. Everytime I read something you write, all I do is laugh. My wife can’t figure it out, and I don’t tell her. I like a guy witha good sence of humor!!!!!! Keep on keeping on!

-- " At my age, happy hour is a crap and a nap".....

View pashley's profile


1043 posts in 3714 days

#7 posted 11-18-2009 02:30 PM

I told my son that there are two rules to a happy marriage:

• If she ain’t happy, you ain’t happy.

• Let her think she’s having her way…and, letting her have her way.

-- Have a blessed day!

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