I got Fired

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Forum topic by Gene Howe posted 11-14-2009 04:30 PM 1239 views 0 times favorited 17 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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Gene Howe

8109 posts in 2852 days

11-14-2009 04:30 PM

Topic tags/keywords: humor

So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees,
I lasted less than a day…...
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting
woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the
way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, ‘Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart.
Nice children you have there. Are they twins?’ The ugly woman stopped yelling long
enough to say, ‘Hell no, they ain’t twins. The oldest one’s 9, and the other one’s 7.
Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?’

So I replied, ‘I’m neither blind nor stupid, Ma’am, I just couldn’t believe someone
slept with you twice.

Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.’
My supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work.

-- Gene 'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

17 replies so far

View Karson's profile


35032 posts in 3824 days

#1 posted 11-14-2009 04:36 PM

Good one Gene. Sorry your job didn’t pan out.

-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Southern Delaware soon moving to Virginia †

View ryno's profile


106 posts in 3088 days

#2 posted 11-14-2009 04:37 PM

That is hilarious..

-- It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2858 days

#3 posted 11-14-2009 04:39 PM

Sorry about the job loss. I would have done the same. It’s about time we stopped pandering to these nasty people.
You can bet it was 2 different people who slept with her and both were drunk.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View Gerry's profile


262 posts in 2664 days

#4 posted 11-14-2009 05:21 PM

now THAT was funny…. At the Sacramento Wood shop show today. Will provide feedback later….

-- -Gerry, Hereford, AZ ” A really good woodworker knows how the hide his / her mistakes.”

View Dadzor's profile


58 posts in 2543 days

#5 posted 11-14-2009 05:28 PM

Thanks, Gene. I needed that.

Check out my last post and you’ll see why.


-- You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture; just get people to stop reading them. -- Ray Bradbury

View Alan's profile


443 posts in 2828 days

#6 posted 11-14-2009 05:34 PM

good one.

-- Alan, Prince George

View Tim Dahn's profile

Tim Dahn

1511 posts in 2989 days

#7 posted 11-14-2009 05:41 PM

Hahahahahah! I just read that out loud and were all laughing, Thanks Gene!

-- Good judgement comes from experience and experience comes from poor judgement.

View RetiredCoastie's profile


999 posts in 2607 days

#8 posted 11-14-2009 05:49 PM

Very good Gene!

-- Proud Supporter of Homes For Our Troops

View cabinetmaster's profile


10874 posts in 2982 days

#9 posted 11-14-2009 06:25 PM

ROTFLMAO…................Good one Gene. My wife and I both got a good laugh from that one.

-- Jerry--A man can never have enough tools or clamps

View a1Jim's profile


115177 posts in 3001 days

#10 posted 11-14-2009 06:34 PM

That’s a great story

-- Custom furniture

View Shopsmithtom's profile


787 posts in 3618 days

#11 posted 11-14-2009 06:36 PM

The best punch lines are the ones you don’t see coming, just like the best punches. -SST

-- Accuracy is not in your power tool, it's in you

View Rick  Dennington's profile

Rick Dennington

5108 posts in 2618 days

#12 posted 11-14-2009 06:51 PM

Here in Arkansas we got a bunch of rednecks that act the same way. No-shoes, overall wearing toothless wonders, that act like they had no rasing at all. Makes you wonder why you have to go to WalMart to begin with, anyway. These people are rude, crude, and uncouth, and I hate it everytime we have to go. Always a loudmouth in the crowd hollering at kids, husband, wife, etc. It may be a joke—but ohh so true !!!

-- At my age, an "all--nighter" is not having to get up and pee...!!!

View jockmike2's profile


10635 posts in 3670 days

#13 posted 11-14-2009 06:52 PM

Now that’s funny. If only it were true! Great one liner.

-- (You just have to please the man in the Mirror) Mike from Michigan -

View BlankMan's profile


1488 posts in 2777 days

#14 posted 11-14-2009 08:24 PM

LOL Thinking right along my lines….

-- -Curt, Milwaukee, WI

View LesB's profile


1229 posts in 2867 days

#15 posted 11-14-2009 08:29 PM

It is a great story but you should have put in quotes because I’m sure it is not original from you. It has been emailed to me by several people over the past year. The origninal source is probably impossible to trace.

-- Les B, Oregon

showing 1 through 15 of 17 replies

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