LumberJocks

kicked out of home depot part 2

  • Advertise with us

« back to Coffee Lounge forum

Forum topic by grizzman posted 1756 days ago 1144 views 0 times favorited 9 replies Add to Favorites Watch
View grizzman's profile (online now)

grizzman

6954 posts in 1940 days


1756 days ago

Topic tags/keywords: humor rustic

well after being inspired by our friend lazy larry…there are two incidents that surffaced….the names have been changes…as always…to protect…..there are two good friends who seem to enjoy there episodes with beans…and have shared story’s as they have happened…..they even talked of creating a eatery that would specialize in the art of fixin beans…..the name of said eatery would be “CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER’’..one of the noted features would be special upholstered chairs that would have whoopee cushions placed in the bottom seat….as to help with the atmosphere….well as stories go…the one friend had a job that required extensive travel….this certain trip took him to the orient…after checking into his hotel, he was to enjoy a lavish meal that would introduce him to the local food ….uh huh…being so happy to be in a new land and enjoying the friendly atmosphere, he had enjoyed all that was there…..and as you would imagine…over eating..now this meal was being served some distance from where his hotel room was…and as you all know…when greasy food begins to move…your body sometimes has no mercy…..the gurgling of intestines has begun and the inevitable is close at hand…...well he Finlay has made the ride in the elevator…makes it to his room…...now these are a new time..when keys have gone by the wayside..and room cards are passed through a reader…...being in a state of emergancy….passing his card….it doesn’t work….as you can now imagine…the mind is racing…your doing the cross your legs thing….knowing your about to fill your pants…when all of a sudden you see the janitors closet…...at this…..you do what you think is best…kinda like a Clark Kent in a phone booth…you dive into the closet….needless to say, the back wall has just been redecorated…...and to this day..there is a janitor who is still trying to over come the fact , that it was probably a clean up he never though he would encounter.

You know how friends are, always enjoying a good laugh at the expense of your friend..so when similar experience take place, there shared, now this chap is a woodworker that i just happen to know..but will have to withhold the name…you know..always doing the honorable thing..this incident took place on a night when all seemed to be normal, a good dinner meal had been enjoyed and all seemed to be as usual…funny how fast things can change….....a little TV had been watched..and bedtime arrived….....sleeplessness was something this good Ole woodworker had endured before…so of coarse his thoughts turn to the shop…and he decides to get a little shop time since he cant sleep…....all goes great in the shop, he was just at the end of what he had planned on doing,,,,,,,when all of a sudden …out of the blue, it hits.and this is not just a little gas..this is .if you don’t move and move now..your gonna…and its going to be bad…...the 1000 mile an hour shuffle begins…you slam the door shut and get about 30 feet toward the house…you reach the corner of the porch when you know that if you try to go up the stairs your gonna explode…so its dirty your pants or…yes…drop em right there and save yourself a bad laundry clean up…...well you must have guess the decision…as it goes this woodworker had 2 white cats who frequently sat on this porch..well to there horror…they witnessed a human being have an explosive experience right before there eyes…...and I’m sure as he began to walk away from this awful scene, they were wondering why is he not covering that up…....so after going to the real bathroom and knowing he had to go back out and hose down the scene..im sure the cats were happy to know that they didn’t have to smell the remains all night long….....so don’t ever think its so funny when your friend has to relate a shameful experiance…cus what goes around…comes around.

-- GRIZZMAN ...[''''']


9 replies so far

View hairy's profile

hairy

2012 posts in 2169 days


#1 posted 1756 days ago

Been there.

-- the last of Barret's Privateers...

View poroskywood's profile

poroskywood

614 posts in 2001 days


#2 posted 1756 days ago

WTF? Now this is my kind of post! Two beers for Grizz! and a box of wet naps?

-- There's many a slip betwixt a cup and a lip.--Scott

View Karson's profile

Karson

34870 posts in 3037 days


#3 posted 1756 days ago

I can attest to the experience and it’s not funny.

-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Southern Delaware karson_morrison@bigfoot.com †

View a1Jim's profile

a1Jim

112027 posts in 2213 days


#4 posted 1756 days ago

No fun at all.

-- http://artisticwoodstudio.com Custom furniture

View degoose's profile

degoose

7000 posts in 1991 days


#5 posted 1755 days ago

Been there done that bought the T-shirt and took the photo…...twice…. once in Singapore on the bus… made it to the toilet… so called… actually a whole in the ground with two painted foot prints either side….. and of course no toilet paper…
Chuckle it up guys…the other time was first port in SE Asia… Cebu PI…. we were warned not to drink the local water and being sailors… no way not water…. only the the beers were served with ICE to cool the beer in the glass… you guessed… made from the local water…. where are those little white pills…

-- Drink twice... and don't bother to cut... @ lazylarrywoodworks.com.au For lovers of all things timber...

View mtkate's profile

mtkate

2049 posts in 1962 days


#6 posted 1755 days ago

Sounds like plenty of peoples’ experience in Cuba… Certainly the lack of toilet paper issue.

View patron's profile

patron

13020 posts in 1977 days


#7 posted 1755 days ago

my buddy andres and i were working the boats in ft laud , fla.
most of the guys were cubans .
andres and i talked about going to cuba after castro ,
and opening a toilet paper factory as he said it was hard to come by there .
we were going to make regular , and super fluffy .
at lunch playing dominoes with the other cubes ,
we announced our plan !
the old man lazaro thought about that for a minute ,
and said ” not me , i’m going to sell hamburgers ” .

“they need to eat , before they can s#*t ! “

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

View huff's profile

huff

2804 posts in 1921 days


#8 posted 1755 days ago

Grizzman, That was a good laugh! That’s not a good feeling, but sure is funny when it happens to someone else.

-- John @ http://www.thehuffordfurnituregroup.com

View reggiek's profile

reggiek

2240 posts in 1906 days


#9 posted 1755 days ago

Been there done that as the saying goes….my worst experience was in Thailand….we landed there and boy was it hot….so we got some good brews to cool down…and had a local meal…..we didn’t know the menu…and certainly couldn’t read that scriggly script….so a nice lil gal gave us one with pictures we could point to…well who knew what the darn pics were of??? Being a bit yangled…..and suffering from super jet lag…we just pointed to a pic….then through a combo of sign language…and some encouraging signs we were shown to point to some red stars on the bottom….not knowing what for…we all picked the firist one….(we found out later that this meant how spicey you wanted your food….seems we chose the Harbanero specials…..) thank god for cold brew…about a week later and I was able to salvage the small bit of my tongue that remained from the meal (heck…I’m cajun and used to hot food…but that stuff was ballistic)....well to make a long story short….we had to pull the car over on the way out of town so that all of us could relieve that tremendous gurgling and rattling in the guts….I still remember my bud (he had a very thick latino accent) moaning..C’mons Ice Creama….I think he got that from the commercial…but at the time we all wished we had eaten…or could be perched upon a gallon or two of the stuff…if ya know what I mean….ouch

-- Woodworking.....My small slice of heaven!

Have your say...

You must be signed in to reply.

DISCLAIMER: Any posts on LJ are posted by individuals acting in their own right and do not necessarily reflect the views of LJ. LJ will not be held liable for the actions of any user.

Latest Projects | Latest Blog Entries | Latest Forum Topics

HomeRefurbers.com

Latest Projects | Latest Blog Entries | Latest Forum Topics

GardenTenders.com :: gardening showcase