To Drink Or Not To Drink

By that reasoning, I should be a genius!

-- Carl Rast, Pelion, SC

I know this is the Coffee Lounge but ‘d be careful when choosing the subjects of your humor, degoose. Many of us know that some very talented LJ members are recovering alcoholics. They are open about it and can be checked in their profile but I don’t think they’d particularly appreciate.

It seems this is a serious matter that can be life changing…

-- Jojo, shopless in Kyoto · http://twitter.com/kagushokunin

ditto the above

-- http://www.furnituremann.ca/

Youngman’s quote is one of my favorites

-- http://woodworker.com

funny stuff i have to pass this on
thanks

Funny stuff ! DeGoose keep them coming . People who should not drink , or read about drinking ,then don’t !!!!!

-- rob

lighten up guys, these are funny quotes from famous people, nothing new, nothing that advertises drinking, it’s a joke.

cliff and norm were the best!

-- When in doubt - There is no doubt - Go the safer route.

Oh my gosh….as one one of the recovering alcoholics here, I can assure you all that no offense is taken on my part. Even though I’ve heard most of these before, they are still funny as hell. Just because I quit drinking doesn’t mean I quit having a sense of humor.

Besides… I encourage people who can drink to do so as often as possible. Considering how much I used to drink, my quitting had quite a negative effect on the economy. I’d like to keep all the brewers, distillers, delivery drivers, bartenders, and convenience store clerks at work. So since I can’t contribute to that effort, the rest of you guys need to pull some extra weight. :-)

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

Charlie – I’m pretty sure you can send your suppport checks to the breweries, I have a feeling they won’t say “no” ;)

-- When in doubt - There is no doubt - Go the safer route.

I tried that, but the IRS wouldn’t allow me to claim it as a charitable donation.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

Good stuff LL!
I’m with you socalwood.
That’s too funny Charlie!

-- Brad, Oregon- Wood, it's what's for dinner.

I concur. What have we become when we can’t have humor? I loved it Degoose I think the weak brain cells deserve to die. I fact, I have a T-shirt that says so.

What’s next, talk off, ” in god we trust ” on our currency? Oops we that, it offended some groups living in the United States. If we can’t laugh what else do we have? I mean Mr. Bush is not doing speeches on TV any more. So we must make jokes else where!

-- Ken, "Everyday above ground is a good day!"

Gee, now I remember why I don’t drink.

Most of it is funny and sad all at the same time.

Thanks Larry

-- Kent Shepherd * The goal is-----More Tools!

I think “Political Correctness” goes way too far

-- Smitty!!!

I liked the brain cell one best, but what do you do if you only have weak ones?

-- Mike, American in Norway

Mike, then ALL your brain cells die and your only option is to run for political office.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

You’re killin’ me Charlie!

-- Brad, Oregon- Wood, it's what's for dinner.

Charlie would you consider being my presidential campaign manager? I think I would make a great president because I really like to ride in helicopters.

-- Mike, American in Norway

You got it, Mike. They might not let you live in Norway anymore, though. :-(

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

Apologies to those I may have offended and thanks to those who took it in the way it was meant… beware I have lots of things to poke fun at and have only just started…
BTW did any of you notice the very relevant add at the bottom of this page….

-- Drink once, cut twice. New website up.... lazylarrywoodworks.com.au

Ha! Good catch, Larry.

Technology is amazing. I’m quite sure the placement of that ad was driven by keywords contained in this discussion.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

I am sorry to say that I think,you guys, Mike and Charlie, have waaaay too much experience to run for president, and you have held jobs, plus you most likely have birth certificates. lol

-- Smitty!!!

Larry nice compilation of relevant facts.

-- What happens in the workshop stays in the workshop. No wait that doesn't sound right. Karson Southern Delaware karson_morrison@bigfoot.com †

On the back of one of my Tee shirts: “The liver is evil and it must be punished!”

Were it not for booze, we would have a severe paucity of good Irish jokes.

-- Gene

Karson, that’s a nice compilation of relevant facts from Smitty as well.

-- Brad, Oregon- Wood, it's what's for dinner.

hey if we didn’t have beer there is no way you’d ever hook up with a fat chick.

-- Roper - Master of sawdust-

That’s it Roper, Way over the line !!! I resemble that remark – As I slosh the key board.

-- rob

Looks like we have a few beer drinkers here. Just for a little fun, what is your choice of brand?

-- JJ...... I guess you could say I'm a 54 year old "juniorjock". — Make things with wood.

that one

-- rob

Henny Youngman made it to oz? love those old one liners

-- -erik & christy-

Hmmm…went home at 2:00 with a 10….woke up at 10:00 with a 2 eh? Last call for alcohol…... Alcohol is involved in more accidents and injuries than anything else….I would never turn on a machine after drinking nor do I allow friends etc to use my equipment when drinking….its just too dangerous…

Now as far as I am concerned I don’t condemn anyone for drinking, smoking or whatever they want to do to their own bodies…as long as it doesn’t impose on anyone else…

-- Woodworking.....My small slice of heaven!

OK, from a personal perspective, with some rigorous stuff thrown in….....

If you have moderate alcohol in your diet, you are much less likely to get dementia….....

And that is a medical fact. Not just in one study, but multiples. Not the lay press. The professional journals.
Don’t drive when you have been drinking. Don’t run your machines when you have been drinking…....because then you won’t have the opportunity to get dementia, you will die early.

But then…........

..........if you have some wine, don’t feel guilty….....I don’t….........

...I think most of life is about moderation…....................

-- Jim, Anchorage Alaska

Larry, the absolute best beer in the world is…............... the one you have in your hand!!!!!
of course free beer is also in that category.

-- Smitty!!!

Hey Larry,
XXXX Rules mate…....your shout.

-- I will just keep doing it till I get it right.

Drinking is a sin… and drink to that! Prost!

-- Never board, always knotty, lots of growth rings

The Buffalo Herd Theory make good sense to me. Who am I to argue with a sage like Ben Franklin?

-- Debt is nothing more than the 21st Century's form of slavery.

if your buying it for me then it is the best beer in the world

Hooky
(how come there is no good breweries in Western Australia any more)

-- Happiness is a way of travel , not a destination (Roy Goodman)

Ski I bought the last round…
Hooky… what happened to Emu Export… one of the bestest beers ever.
So far this has been the most fun I have had here on LJ

PS

Beer … helping ugly people have sex since 1250 BC

-- Drink once, cut twice. New website up.... lazylarrywoodworks.com.au

Good one degoose!

-- Still clinging to my guns and religion.

I have to agree with Jim Bertelsen that life is about moderation. I do believe that people who have alcohol problems would probably become addicted to something else if alcohol were not available, so even though alcohol does a lot of harm in this world, I am not really against it.

I also agree with Reggiek that it is very foolish to drive or operate machinery after even very moderate intake. Quite a few years ago I had just one glass of wine and went out to the shop and managed to cut myself real good on my bandsaw which is regarded as one of the safer tools in the shop. I had to go to the hospital to get it sewed up and I just barely escaped serious and permanent injury. That was the last time I ever did any work in the shop after having a drink. It was also my last shop accident.

-- Mike, American in Norway

I don’t drink but maybe I should start if I can be as creative as Larry.

-- Jim from Heirloom Woodshop Southern Oregon

living in colorado means i get to be close to the new belgium brewery, which is great for me because i love drinking Fat Tire.

-- Roper - Master of sawdust-

Hi Larry,

Very funny stuff here.

And thanks to Charlie, who has pointed out he is able to maintain a sense of humor. He must have drank enough to kill off those “slow” brain cells.

At what point will be be unable to say anything, for fear of hurting someone’s feelings? Seems there are far more important issues to be concerned with.

Lee

-- by Lee A. Jesberger http://www.prowoodworkingtips.com http://www.ezee-feed.com

I couldn’t agree with you more Lee. Political correctness has completely gotten out of control. It reminds me of the following email I got a while back which you may or may not have seen. Too funny.

The winning entry from an annual contest at Texas A&M University calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term.

This year a definition was required for the contemporary term, ‘Political Correctness’ The winner wrote:

‘Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical,
liberal minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media,
which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.’

-- Brad, Oregon- Wood, it's what's for dinner.

‘Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical,
liberal minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media,
which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.’

:) :) :)

-- Still clinging to my guns and religion.

Degoose I grew up in Western Australia thinking that beer was terrible

then i discovered that it was Western Australian beer that was terrible and not my taste

(they may still make emu export but i dont go looking for it at the local bottle shops)

so now i drink a lot of eastern states beer, even XXXX. My favourite is tooheys old (but for those wowsers and political correctness people i drink in moderation i dont drink and drive and i sure as hell dont use a table saw whilst i have been drinking)

Hooky

PS still cringing at the idea of doing something silly on a table saw

-- Happiness is a way of travel , not a destination (Roy Goodman)

I’M NOT AS THINK AS YOU DRUNK I AM

-- "Even small steps makes a distance." (Shawn Phillips, musician)

Thanks for the laughter , my friend….I surely miss Norm and Cliff : )

-- You know you're getting old when you know the difference between you're (you are) and your (belonging to you) AND how to use them in a sentence .

Larry, I can’t believe I missed this one but as of right now I am ROTFLMAO….............With a bottle of wine at hand…...............LOL

-- Jerry--A man can never have enough tools or clamps

don’t spill the wine!!!

-- Smitty!!!