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Forum topic by Bob42 posted 09-19-2009 01:50 AM 1397 views 0 times favorited 17 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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456 posts in 3789 days

09-19-2009 01:50 AM

I haven’t been active for a while because my dad has been living with me since the spring. He is 86 years old and has many health conditions. Dad is also a DNR. That has not given me any time to view the jocks much less build something. Dad was a woodworker and a carpenter by trade. Yesterday he went in for a shower and came out dead, but he lived to talk about it. It was hard for me as a firefighter/EMT not to revive him but I had to respect his wishes. I did check his vitals and he had none, but after a minute he gasped and started breathing on his own. As we were carrying him out of the bathroom he was telling us “I guess it’s hard killing a marine”. Dad was in the marine corp in WWII. He is very weak today and we don’t know how long he has. It will be sometime soon. I will miss him very much as he is my hero and my rock. Thanks in advance for letting me spill my guts but sometimes it helps. I know some people don’t think this type of stuff belongs here but, he is a craftsman that taught me so much more than woodworking.

-- Bob K. East Northport, NY

17 replies so far

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13603 posts in 3340 days

#1 posted 09-19-2009 02:03 AM

God bless him , and all your family .

my prayers are with you .

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

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3902 posts in 3696 days

#2 posted 09-19-2009 02:06 AM

Well my friend enjoy every minute you can with him I lost my dad and some days I wish he was here to talk to, after they are gone it’s not like they have gone on a trip and they will be back they are gone for good so all time you have with him enjoy to the fullest.

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Scott Bryan

27250 posts in 3820 days

#3 posted 09-19-2009 02:16 AM

Bob, you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. It is hard to lose a parent, especially one as close as your father obviously is to you. Thanks for sharing this.

-- Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful- Joshua Marine

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841 posts in 3356 days

#4 posted 09-19-2009 04:24 AM

Bob….......I have not been through anything like that yet….....My heart goes out to you and your Father… and the rest of your family. My prayers are with you all.


-- Robin Renee'

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555 posts in 3280 days

#5 posted 09-19-2009 04:41 AM


A DNR doesn’t mean he can’t be treated. I had a heart attack about a month ago and putting stints in was certainly an easy procedure for me. I’m a little amazed at how much of a difference it’s made for me. I feel a lot more energetic and a lot better. Talk to him, take him to the VA where he can get treatment at very reasonable cost and he’ll probably meet some other old marines he can relate to. If the quality of his life can be improved at little or no financial cost I don’t think he’ll object, especially if you let him know you’d like him around for a while longer.

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2828 posts in 3284 days

#6 posted 09-19-2009 04:44 AM

Bob, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I lost my father a few years ago and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of him and miss him. The one great thing I can say is that before my father died, I had the chance to sit with him and tell him how much I loved him and that he was my hero. The look in my fathers eyes that day will stay with me forever. Spend all the time you can with him and his woodworking can live on forever through you.

-- John @

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117091 posts in 3576 days

#7 posted 09-19-2009 05:19 AM

I feel for you and your family and of course your father. I look back and wish I had one more minuet,hour, day with my father. So I know it’s hard but focus on your father and share every second you have left with him.
We all have limited time here on earth this your father knows and he must be ready with his DNR . It’s hardest for us left behind and even harder for someone trained to save others. It’s hard and scary to loose a treasured father. But grieve when he’s gone not while he’s still here .Just give him all the love you got. After all isn’t grieving a selfish thing we keep thinking about what will I do with out them .How can I go on with out them . we have to forget the I and remember him and that he is still here.
forgive my thoughts I know we all handle these things differently.
Peace to you and yours

-- wood crafting & woodworking classes

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72 posts in 3397 days

#8 posted 09-19-2009 09:53 AM

You and your father are in our thoughts and prayers

-- Elvin, Southern California, "How great would life be if we lived a little of it everyday"

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15881 posts in 3333 days

#9 posted 09-19-2009 11:21 AM

It’s always very tough to think about losing a loved one, but you’re dad has a loving family and has lived a long useful life. There isn’t much more one could ask for. I think I understand how you are feeling right now, but there isn’t much I can say to alleviate the pain except to wish yourself, your family and your Dad the very best.

-- Mike, an American living in Norway.

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Craftsman on the lake

2790 posts in 3436 days

#10 posted 09-19-2009 01:08 PM

It’s rough but you’ll look back on this with a sense of satisfaction, purpose and a knowing that your Dad appreciated it. Hang in there.

-- The smell of wood, coffee in the cup, the wife let's me do my thing, the lake is peaceful.

View GMman's profile


3902 posts in 3696 days

#11 posted 09-19-2009 05:18 PM

Bob…By any chance your Dad wouldn’t have dual citizenship with Canada he could get all his treatments here for free.

View Bob42's profile


456 posts in 3789 days

#12 posted 09-19-2009 05:29 PM

Thanks to all, My wife is a nurse and I am an EMT and we have checked all options for him but do to his numerous health problems nothing more can be done but to make him comfortable and that’s what we are doing. To a1Jim I couldn’t agree with you more about grieving and we are cherishing every moment we have. Dad just wants to make it to Sunday night for the NY Football Giants game. That may be the thing that puts him over the edge but what better way to go than watching your favorite team. That’s also how he feels. He has been a fan since they were in the Polo Grounds. Thanks again to all for your support. It may be a while before I can respond again.

Bob and family

-- Bob K. East Northport, NY

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3902 posts in 3696 days

#13 posted 09-19-2009 05:33 PM

Hang in you seems like a fine family.

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1697 posts in 3690 days

#14 posted 09-19-2009 09:39 PM

Bod my prayers are with you and your family my woodworking friend


-- cut it saw it scrap it SKPE: ANDREW.CARTER69

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John in SD

140 posts in 3811 days

#15 posted 09-20-2009 12:34 AM

Hang in there Bob, and May God be with you

-- Life used to be soooo much simpler!!!!

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