Woodshop Funnies.

:>)

-- If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith. - Albert Einstein

Send that beaver over here, I got some tables and chairs he can build for me.

As a retired shop teacher, I love this.

-- Bill - Mesquite, TX --- "Everything with a power cord eventually winds up in the trash.” John Sarge , timber framer and blacksmith instructor at Tillers International school

Seventy year old Martha woke her husband, seventy-five year old George from his nap on the sofa.

“There is a truck backed up to your shop and theives are loading up your tools.” she told him in a frightened voice.

He immediately looked out the window, then phoned the police.

The police informed him that it was Saturday night and they were really busy but would have an officer over to his place as soon as one was available, probably in about half an hour. He was advised to stay inside the house with the doors locked until they got there.

He hung up the phone, waited about a minute and called back.

“This is the fellow that just called about the theives stealing his tools, don’t hurry, I just shot them.”

Three minutes later an ambulance and two police cars arrived and the burgulars were caught red-handed.

“What is going on here?” asked one of the officers, “We were informed that you had shot them.”

“Yeh, and I was informed that nobody was available.” Old George replied

Employment Standards determined a small woodworking shop owner was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.

“I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,” demanded the agent.

“Well, there’s Jake my finisher who’s been with me for 3 years, I pay him $900 a week.

The apprentice Tom has been here for 6 months, and I pay him $500 a week.

Then there’s the half-wit that works here about 18 hours a day. He makes $10 a week and I buy him a case of beer every Friday,” replied the owner.

“That’s the guy I want to talk to; the half-wit,” says the agent.”

The owner says, “That would be me.”

ok it took me awhile before the stems felled one at a time :-)

thank you

Dennis