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View Dan'um Style's profile

woodworking humor

by Dan'um Style
posted 1829 days ago


50 replies so far

View degoose's profile

degoose

6973 posts in 1953 days


#1 posted 1829 days ago

OK

-- Drink twice... and don't bother to cut... @ lazylarrywoodworks.com.au For lovers of all things timber...

View bigdave's profile

bigdave

27 posts in 1883 days


#2 posted 1829 days ago

Uh huh . . . . . it must be late somewhere!!

View Russel's profile

Russel

2199 posts in 2537 days


#3 posted 1829 days ago

Oy!

-- Working at Woodworking http://www.VillageLaneFurniture.com

View littlecope's profile

littlecope

2883 posts in 2100 days


#4 posted 1829 days ago

Ba-bump!! Where’s Henny Youngman when you need him?
“My Doctor gave me six months to live. Couldn’t pay the bill, he gave me another six months!” “I Love this Crowd!!”
Or Phyllis Diller? “My Husband brought a book to bed on our wedding night. I wouldn’t mind so much if he had read, but he colored!!”

-- Mike in Concord, NH---Unpleasant tasks are simply worthy challenges to improve skills.

View kiwi1969's profile

kiwi1969

609 posts in 2040 days


#5 posted 1829 days ago

Yes but did the russian guy shoot the rabbit with a bow and arrow or did the carver get electrocuted plugging in his dremel. You,re drinking way too much of that cat crap coffee dan.

-- if the hand is not working it is not a pure hand

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PineInTheAsh

401 posts in 1866 days


#6 posted 1829 days ago

No, no… remember, it’s gin AND tonic.

View RAH's profile

RAH

414 posts in 2475 days


#7 posted 1829 days ago

A couple where on a country drive. A rabbit ran out in front of them and was rolled by the car. They stop to see if the rabbit was Ok. The rabbit was breathing but not moving, they did not know what to do.
They where stopped in front of a beauty salon and an hairdresser came to see if she could help. She saw the rabbit and said she would be right back. When she came back she had a bottle and spoon and proceeded to give the rabbit some fluid. All of the sudden the rabbit jumped up and ran into the bushes waiving. The couple was amazed and asked what did you give the rabbit. the hair dressed exclaimed Hair restoration with a permanent waive.

-- Ron Central, CA

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a1Jim

111999 posts in 2175 days


#8 posted 1829 days ago

HMMM

-- http://artisticwoodstudio.com Custom furniture

View odie's profile

odie

1680 posts in 2438 days


#9 posted 1829 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

View Gary's profile

Gary

6976 posts in 2031 days


#10 posted 1828 days ago

I’m with Odie. Where’s the humor that’s suppose to be here???

-- Gary, DeKalb Texas only 4 miles from the mill

View cabinetmaster's profile

cabinetmaster

10874 posts in 2156 days


#11 posted 1828 days ago

I guess I must have missed it all…................LOL

-- Jerry--A man can never have enough tools or clamps

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#12 posted 1828 days ago

read it again … very slowly … and check the punch line spellin

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View RAH's profile

RAH

414 posts in 2475 days


#13 posted 1828 days ago

Yea, I should have read it again myself, thats why I don’t post much.

-- Ron Central, CA

View Grumpy's profile

Grumpy

19313 posts in 2449 days


#14 posted 1827 days ago

DUH, ARE WE THERE YET?.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

View odie's profile

odie

1680 posts in 2438 days


#15 posted 1827 days ago

I’m with you grumpy …. would the rest of you please catch !

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#16 posted 1827 days ago

I didn’t write ... just cut and paste !!

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View poopiekat's profile

poopiekat

3556 posts in 2333 days


#17 posted 1826 days ago

Bob’s woodworking shop was a one-man operation til the housing boom of the 90’s made it necessary to hire two people. So he hired Jack, a professional cabinetmaker, and Jill, an apprentice. Things went very well for Bob until this recent downturn of the economy. Bob’s accountant made it clear that one of his crew would have to go. Jack was unreliable, taking days off and not very productive, but had the skills. Jill was learning, and ambitious, and had good managerial skills but not yet competent on all machines.
Bob’s dilemma was this: Should he lay Jill or Jack off?

-- Einstein: "The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." I'm Poopiekat!!

View SCOTSMAN's profile

SCOTSMAN

5245 posts in 2184 days


#18 posted 1826 days ago

That was a beauty Dan it’s the way you tell them that has me laughing for seconds.Alistair

-- excuse my typing as I have a form of parkinsons disease

View Bob #2's profile

Bob #2

3808 posts in 2620 days


#19 posted 1826 days ago

Well, I get it and it’s a bit funnier than you think.

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Bob

-- A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner

View odie's profile

odie

1680 posts in 2438 days


#20 posted 1823 days ago

Did someone say “Woodworking Humor”?

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#21 posted 1823 days ago

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#22 posted 1823 days ago

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View woodsmithshop's profile

woodsmithshop

1103 posts in 2144 days


#23 posted 1823 days ago

Dan, don’t quit your day job.

-- Smitty!!!

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GMman

3902 posts in 2296 days


#24 posted 1823 days ago

Ya well poop I am not laughing, maybe the next one

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#25 posted 1823 days ago

Someone from Germany sells this wooden boob on Ebay.
The artist says that he had boobs of his wife in front of his eyes when he was making this wooden copy.
When you want to buy one it will cost you 129 EUR.

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#26 posted 1823 days ago

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View odie's profile

odie

1680 posts in 2438 days


#27 posted 1800 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

View Gene Howe's profile

Gene Howe

5397 posts in 2027 days


#28 posted 1800 days ago

Re: The outhouse.
I think I’d have to hold it or write my name in the snow.

-- Gene 'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#29 posted 1800 days ago

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View poopiekat's profile

poopiekat

3556 posts in 2333 days


#30 posted 1800 days ago

Pinocchio went to see his old friend Gepetto about a problem he was having. Seems Pinocchio had a new girlfriend, who complained of getting splinters every time they were intimate. Gepetto brought Pinocchio into his workshop, and handed him some sheets of fine sandpaper. “Take these and sand yourself smooth, and you won’t have that problem anymore” Gepetto advised.
Two weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio skipping down the street. “Pinocchio, did you solve that problem with your girlfriend” he asked.
“Girlfriend? Who needs a girlfriend?” Pinocchio replied.

-- Einstein: "The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." I'm Poopiekat!!

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#31 posted 1800 days ago

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#32 posted 1799 days ago

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#33 posted 1789 days ago

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View navyman's profile

navyman

151 posts in 2004 days


#34 posted 1777 days ago

Before I ret. we would it red cunt hair they were smaller

-- Michael . USN ( Ret ) Batesville,AR

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Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#35 posted 1777 days ago

I seen some on a ladies face once. Right under her nose.

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#36 posted 1768 days ago

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View odie's profile

odie

1680 posts in 2438 days


#37 posted 1766 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#38 posted 658 days ago

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#39 posted 617 days ago

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View odie's profile

odie

1680 posts in 2438 days


#40 posted 603 days ago

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#41 posted 603 days ago

got WOOD?

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#42 posted 600 days ago

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#43 posted 600 days ago

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#44 posted 599 days ago

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#45 posted 599 days ago

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#46 posted 592 days ago

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#47 posted 562 days ago

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#48 posted 538 days ago

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#49 posted 496 days ago

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

12841 posts in 2581 days


#50 posted 476 days ago

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

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