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View Dan'um Style's profile

woodworking humor

by Dan'um Style
posted 07-22-2009 07:02 AM


50 replies so far

View degoose's profile

degoose

7052 posts in 2107 days


#1 posted 07-22-2009 07:52 AM

OK

-- Drink twice... and don't bother to cut... @ lazylarrywoodworks.com.au For lovers of all things timber...

View bigdave's profile

bigdave

27 posts in 2036 days


#2 posted 07-22-2009 08:26 AM

Uh huh . . . . . it must be late somewhere!!

View Russel's profile

Russel

2199 posts in 2691 days


#3 posted 07-22-2009 11:45 AM

Oy!

-- Working at Woodworking http://www.VillageLaneFurniture.com

View littlecope's profile

littlecope

2972 posts in 2254 days


#4 posted 07-22-2009 12:28 PM

Ba-bump!! Where’s Henny Youngman when you need him?
“My Doctor gave me six months to live. Couldn’t pay the bill, he gave me another six months!” “I Love this Crowd!!”
Or Phyllis Diller? “My Husband brought a book to bed on our wedding night. I wouldn’t mind so much if he had read, but he colored!!”

-- Mike in Concord, NH---Unpleasant tasks are simply worthy challenges to improve skills.

View kiwi1969's profile

kiwi1969

609 posts in 2194 days


#5 posted 07-22-2009 01:07 PM

Yes but did the russian guy shoot the rabbit with a bow and arrow or did the carver get electrocuted plugging in his dremel. You,re drinking way too much of that cat crap coffee dan.

-- if the hand is not working it is not a pure hand

View PineInTheAsh's profile

PineInTheAsh

401 posts in 2020 days


#6 posted 07-22-2009 01:29 PM

No, no… remember, it’s gin AND tonic.

View RAH's profile

RAH

414 posts in 2629 days


#7 posted 07-22-2009 02:51 PM

A couple where on a country drive. A rabbit ran out in front of them and was rolled by the car. They stop to see if the rabbit was Ok. The rabbit was breathing but not moving, they did not know what to do.
They where stopped in front of a beauty salon and an hairdresser came to see if she could help. She saw the rabbit and said she would be right back. When she came back she had a bottle and spoon and proceeded to give the rabbit some fluid. All of the sudden the rabbit jumped up and ran into the bushes waiving. The couple was amazed and asked what did you give the rabbit. the hair dressed exclaimed Hair restoration with a permanent waive.

-- Ron Central, CA

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a1Jim

112934 posts in 2329 days


#8 posted 07-22-2009 03:51 PM

HMMM

-- http://artisticwoodstudio.com Custom furniture

View odie's profile

odie

1680 posts in 2592 days


#9 posted 07-22-2009 05:00 PM

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

View Gary's profile

Gary

7612 posts in 2185 days


#10 posted 07-23-2009 01:16 AM

I’m with Odie. Where’s the humor that’s suppose to be here???

-- Gary, DeKalb Texas only 4 miles from the mill

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cabinetmaster

10874 posts in 2310 days


#11 posted 07-23-2009 01:25 AM

I guess I must have missed it all…................LOL

-- Jerry--A man can never have enough tools or clamps

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#12 posted 07-23-2009 02:13 AM

read it again … very slowly … and check the punch line spellin

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View RAH's profile

RAH

414 posts in 2629 days


#13 posted 07-23-2009 05:06 AM

Yea, I should have read it again myself, thats why I don’t post much.

-- Ron Central, CA

View Grumpy's profile

Grumpy

19710 posts in 2603 days


#14 posted 07-24-2009 12:53 AM

DUH, ARE WE THERE YET?.

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

View odie's profile

odie

1680 posts in 2592 days


#15 posted 07-24-2009 01:15 AM

I’m with you grumpy …. would the rest of you please catch !

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#16 posted 07-24-2009 01:26 AM

I didn’t write ... just cut and paste !!

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View poopiekat's profile

poopiekat

3736 posts in 2486 days


#17 posted 07-24-2009 11:59 PM

Bob’s woodworking shop was a one-man operation til the housing boom of the 90’s made it necessary to hire two people. So he hired Jack, a professional cabinetmaker, and Jill, an apprentice. Things went very well for Bob until this recent downturn of the economy. Bob’s accountant made it clear that one of his crew would have to go. Jack was unreliable, taking days off and not very productive, but had the skills. Jill was learning, and ambitious, and had good managerial skills but not yet competent on all machines.
Bob’s dilemma was this: Should he lay Jill or Jack off?

-- Einstein: "The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." I'm Poopiekat!!

View SCOTSMAN's profile

SCOTSMAN

5594 posts in 2337 days


#18 posted 07-25-2009 12:04 AM

That was a beauty Dan it’s the way you tell them that has me laughing for seconds.Alistair

-- excuse my typing as I have a form of parkinsons disease

View Bob #2's profile

Bob #2

3808 posts in 2773 days


#19 posted 07-25-2009 12:49 AM

Well, I get it and it’s a bit funnier than you think.

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Bob

-- A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner

View odie's profile

odie

1680 posts in 2592 days


#20 posted 07-28-2009 05:42 PM

Did someone say “Woodworking Humor”?

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#21 posted 07-28-2009 06:04 PM

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#22 posted 07-28-2009 06:09 PM

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View woodsmithshop's profile

woodsmithshop

1189 posts in 2297 days


#23 posted 07-28-2009 06:33 PM

Dan, don’t quit your day job.

-- Smitty!!!

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GMman

3902 posts in 2449 days


#24 posted 07-28-2009 06:50 PM

Ya well poop I am not laughing, maybe the next one

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Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#25 posted 07-28-2009 07:22 PM

Someone from Germany sells this wooden boob on Ebay.
The artist says that he had boobs of his wife in front of his eyes when he was making this wooden copy.
When you want to buy one it will cost you 129 EUR.

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

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Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#26 posted 07-28-2009 07:36 PM

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View odie's profile

odie

1680 posts in 2592 days


#27 posted 08-20-2009 01:39 AM

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

View Gene Howe's profile

Gene Howe

6057 posts in 2180 days


#28 posted 08-20-2009 02:20 AM

Re: The outhouse.
I think I’d have to hold it or write my name in the snow.

-- Gene 'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#29 posted 08-20-2009 02:25 AM

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View poopiekat's profile

poopiekat

3736 posts in 2486 days


#30 posted 08-20-2009 03:24 AM

Pinocchio went to see his old friend Gepetto about a problem he was having. Seems Pinocchio had a new girlfriend, who complained of getting splinters every time they were intimate. Gepetto brought Pinocchio into his workshop, and handed him some sheets of fine sandpaper. “Take these and sand yourself smooth, and you won’t have that problem anymore” Gepetto advised.
Two weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio skipping down the street. “Pinocchio, did you solve that problem with your girlfriend” he asked.
“Girlfriend? Who needs a girlfriend?” Pinocchio replied.

-- Einstein: "The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." I'm Poopiekat!!

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#31 posted 08-20-2009 03:31 AM

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#32 posted 08-21-2009 04:12 AM

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#33 posted 08-31-2009 02:18 AM

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View navyman's profile

navyman

151 posts in 2157 days


#34 posted 09-12-2009 04:38 AM

Before I ret. we would it red cunt hair they were smaller

-- Michael . USN ( Ret ) Batesville,AR

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Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#35 posted 09-12-2009 05:08 AM

I seen some on a ladies face once. Right under her nose.

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

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Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#36 posted 09-20-2009 11:52 PM

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View odie's profile

odie

1680 posts in 2592 days


#37 posted 09-23-2009 06:19 PM

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#38 posted 10-05-2012 01:09 AM

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#39 posted 11-15-2012 04:08 AM

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View odie's profile

odie

1680 posts in 2592 days


#40 posted 11-29-2012 10:12 PM

-- Odie, Confucius say, "He who laughs at one's self is BUTT of joke". http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ (my funny blog)

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#41 posted 11-29-2012 10:25 PM

got WOOD?

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#42 posted 12-02-2012 04:26 AM

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#43 posted 12-02-2012 04:32 AM

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#44 posted 12-03-2012 02:15 AM

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#45 posted 12-03-2012 02:17 AM

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#46 posted 12-10-2012 03:32 AM

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#47 posted 01-09-2013 01:19 AM

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

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Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#48 posted 02-02-2013 12:47 AM

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

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Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#49 posted 03-16-2013 02:51 AM

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

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Dan'um Style

13266 posts in 2735 days


#50 posted 04-05-2013 11:06 PM

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

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