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Why Teachers Drink...

by Brit
posted 10-23-2012 10:01 PM


32 replies so far

View lysdexic's profile

lysdexic

5256 posts in 2741 days


#1 posted 10-23-2012 10:04 PM

Awesome. Just awesome.

-- "It's only wood. Use it." - Smitty || Instagram - out_of_focus1.618

View Monte Pittman's profile

Monte Pittman

29792 posts in 2456 days


#2 posted 10-23-2012 10:07 PM

Very cute

-- Nature created it, I just assemble it.

View Brandon's profile

Brandon

4152 posts in 3069 days


#3 posted 10-23-2012 10:14 PM

Can’t get enough of these!

-- "hold fast to that which is good"

View DS's profile

DS

2978 posts in 2538 days


#4 posted 10-23-2012 10:28 PM

A first grade girl handed in the drawing below for a homework assignment.

After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note:

Dear Ms. Davis,

I want to be very clear on my child’s illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This photo is of me selling a shovel.

Mrs. Harrington

-- "Hard work is not defined by the difficulty of the task as much as a person's desire to perform it.", DS251

View Brit's profile

Brit

7450 posts in 2960 days


#5 posted 10-23-2012 10:30 PM

Nice.

-- https://www.clickasnap.com/Andy61 - Andy - Old Chinese proverb says: "If you think something can't be done, don't interrupt man who is doing it."

View whitebeast88's profile

whitebeast88

4128 posts in 2308 days


#6 posted 10-23-2012 11:14 PM

very funny!!!!

-- Marty.Athens,AL

View Cosmicsniper's profile

Cosmicsniper

2202 posts in 3276 days


#7 posted 10-23-2012 11:24 PM

I teach high school math for a living. That one on binomial expansion rings a bell!!!

-- jay, www.allaboutastro.com

View lysdexic's profile

lysdexic

5256 posts in 2741 days


#8 posted 10-24-2012 12:44 AM

You know, if I was a teacher I’d have to give some of these credit because they do, in fact, answer the question. I value the creativity.

-- "It's only wood. Use it." - Smitty || Instagram - out_of_focus1.618

View ShaneA's profile

ShaneA

7022 posts in 2716 days


#9 posted 10-24-2012 12:52 AM

Oh my, looks like some of my test answers.

View JJohnston's profile

JJohnston

1622 posts in 3409 days


#10 posted 10-24-2012 01:04 AM

I think I saw an application of #2B on the Coyote and Roadrunner show. Unfortunately for the coyote, the roadrunner’s spring at the bottom of the long gutter didn’t obey conservation of energy, and the rock came all the way back up past the top and nailed the coyote.

-- "A man may conduct himself well in both adversity and good fortune, but if you want to test his character, give him power." - Abraham Lincoln

View 47phord's profile

47phord

182 posts in 2355 days


#11 posted 10-24-2012 01:10 AM

I’ve seen that before, and it never gets old. Thank-you, I had a bad day today and I needed that!

View derosa's profile

derosa

1577 posts in 2953 days


#12 posted 10-24-2012 02:18 AM

They don’t get any better in college either.
During my year as a TA I had to read some really bad answers.
q: What is bronze made of a: Diluted gold
q: What did the Athenian use to build their fleet a: Silver from the [Larium] mines (this was a correct answer)
followup q: What were the ships made of a: silver from the mines.
These were classics that I don’t think I’ll ever forget.

Worst was the bonus questions in a Roman archaeology class.
They were 1. What is the color of Napolean’s white horse. 2.Who is buried in Grant’s tomb? (Mrs grant would have been accepted). 3. What holiday are we about to celebrate? (exam was given the day before Easter break). and 4. What class is this? which was actually on the top of the front of the exam.
Only 11 people out of a class of 150 actually got all of them correct.

-- --Rev. Russ in NY-- A posse ad esse

View oldnovice's profile

oldnovice

7126 posts in 3486 days


#13 posted 10-24-2012 04:40 AM

A very close friend of mine taught a high school shop and on a test he asked “on what stroke does a file cut?”
The funniest answer was “on the thirty-second stroke”

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
I took a calculus final with the instruction written on the test were “read all of the questions, pick one to answer, sign you name, give yourself an A, turn in the test paper, and leave the room quietly”.
It was amazing how few people actually read the complete instructions. And I was not one of them!

-- "I never met a board I didn't like!"

View mloy365's profile

mloy365

444 posts in 3248 days


#14 posted 10-24-2012 01:00 PM

Very funny stuff.

-- Mike - Northern Upper Michigan

View derosa's profile

derosa

1577 posts in 2953 days


#15 posted 10-24-2012 09:29 PM

I had to take one once on the aztec gods which were originally all designated with single letters A-Z. The professor handed out a paper with 20 of the gods in 2 rows, marked off 10 and we had to name them. I figured the prof couldn’t really expect the class to memorize all the aztec names nor to try and actually memorize over 20 god images out of context. Therefore I assumed they were all in alphabetical order and the ones marked were whichever was next in line. My A was the only passing grade on the exam.

-- --Rev. Russ in NY-- A posse ad esse

View Dennisgrosen's profile

Dennisgrosen

10880 posts in 3233 days


#16 posted 10-24-2012 09:50 PM

thanks for the laugh Brit
i´m going to get some hard water to my single malt
its have been a long time since I had been in such a good spirit :-)

Oldnovice :-) that instruction is a classic famerous number to make with a test
but long time since I last heard about it … learned the hard way myself to read all … before answering .. lol

take care
Dennis

View DS's profile

DS

2978 posts in 2538 days


#17 posted 10-24-2012 10:23 PM

-- "Hard work is not defined by the difficulty of the task as much as a person's desire to perform it.", DS251

View IsaacH's profile

IsaacH

128 posts in 2214 days


#18 posted 10-24-2012 10:29 PM

Stuff like that is both why moy mom kept teaching for 20+ years AND why my wife quit teaching after 4 years!

:-P

-- Isaac- Decatur, GA - "Your woodworking....NOT machining parts for NASA!!!"

View Dave's profile

Dave

11429 posts in 2958 days


#19 posted 10-24-2012 11:09 PM

Andy that is good stuff and the ones to follow as well. I know this because I have 30 years of education.
~
~
~
I went through the 10’th grade 3 times ;)

-- Superdav "No matter where you go - there you are." http://chiselandforge.com

View TechRedneck's profile

TechRedneck

769 posts in 2975 days


#20 posted 10-24-2012 11:17 PM

Nice diversion.. Thanks

-- Mike.... West Virginia. "Man is a tool using animal. Without tools he is nothing, with tools he is all.". T Carlyle

View Cosmicsniper's profile

Cosmicsniper

2202 posts in 3276 days


#21 posted 10-24-2012 11:27 PM

ScottyB – I do give partial credits sometimes for creative responses. It’s better than doing what most of my kids do, which is diddly-squat! You do want to keep them in the game sometimes instead of disappearing.

-- jay, www.allaboutastro.com

View Don W's profile

Don W

18938 posts in 2685 days


#22 posted 10-24-2012 11:33 PM

I had a student once (tech school) come to me and ask for extra credit work. I said but you haven’t handed in the original assignments yet. She said that’s why I want the extra credit work. I said so as soon as I get the original assignments we’ll talk about extra credit. She said but the original assignments are to much work.

She didn’t pass the class.

-- http://timetestedtools.net - Collecting is an investment in the past, and the future.

View Dave's profile

Dave

11429 posts in 2958 days


#23 posted 10-24-2012 11:59 PM

Andy that is good stuff and the ones to follow as well. I know this because I have 30 years of education.
~
~
~
I went through the 10’th grade 3 times ;)

-- Superdav "No matter where you go - there you are." http://chiselandforge.com

View Don W's profile

Don W

18938 posts in 2685 days


#24 posted 10-25-2012 12:07 AM

At least we know you don’t quit Dave.

-- http://timetestedtools.net - Collecting is an investment in the past, and the future.

View Dennisgrosen's profile

Dennisgrosen

10880 posts in 3233 days


#25 posted 10-25-2012 09:08 PM

thats why you are so smart Dave ….. :-)

the teachers let me out after seven years in a school with straws as roof
they told me I had a 1.class brain …........

Dennis

View Surfside's profile

Surfside

3389 posts in 2291 days


#26 posted 10-25-2012 09:16 PM

This hilarious post made my day. :)

-- "someone has to be wounded for others to be saved, someone has to sacrifice for others to feel happiness, someone has to die so others could live"

View DS's profile

DS

2978 posts in 2538 days


#27 posted 10-25-2012 09:56 PM

Teaching Math In 1950

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1960

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1970

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

Teaching Math In 1980

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math In 1990

By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees. (There are no wrong answers.)

Teaching Math In 2010

El hachero vende un camion carga por $100. La cuesta de production es…..........

-- "Hard work is not defined by the difficulty of the task as much as a person's desire to perform it.", DS251

View oldnovice's profile

oldnovice

7126 posts in 3486 days


#28 posted 10-25-2012 11:31 PM

Love the above!

-- "I never met a board I didn't like!"

View Sanity's profile

Sanity

174 posts in 2808 days


#29 posted 10-26-2012 01:12 AM

The thing that I learned recently is that there are 3 types of people in the world – those who are good at math and those who aren’t.

-- Stuart

View ChuckV's profile

ChuckV

3161 posts in 3645 days


#30 posted 10-26-2012 01:18 AM

I thought there were 10 types of people in the world – those who understand binary and those who don’t.

-- “Big man, pig man, ha ha, charade you are.” ― R. Waters

View Dave's profile

Dave

11429 posts in 2958 days


#31 posted 10-26-2012 02:45 AM

Hey I had to learn to count in octal.
letters and numbers dont mix.

-- Superdav "No matter where you go - there you are." http://chiselandforge.com

View Dennisgrosen's profile

Dennisgrosen

10880 posts in 3233 days


#32 posted 10-26-2012 08:04 AM

you just have to learn the hexidecimal system Dave …. then you have no trouble
of mixing numbers and letters …... glad I on the digital system now …... its either on or off …... LOL

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