LumberJocks

All Replies on Cutsie Sayings, Stupid Quotes and Quick Comebacks...

  • Advertise with us
View DKV's profile

Cutsie Sayings, Stupid Quotes and Quick Comebacks...

by DKV
posted 698 days ago


« prev 1 2 3 4 5 next »
230 replies

230 replies so far

View DKV's profile

DKV

3058 posts in 1101 days


#151 posted 687 days ago

Crank, I am not sure. I blame it on the three day weekend and traveling…I hope.

«Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.»- Mariah Carey, pop singer

-- 2014 will be a different year...at least for me it will.

View woodshaver's profile

woodshaver

2731 posts in 1949 days


#152 posted 687 days ago

In 1987, the Chevy Chase film, “Funny Farm” when the old man told Chevy “You can’t get there from here”

I love that movie!

-- Tony C , My high school shop teacher said "You can do it"... Now I can't stop!

View DKV's profile

DKV

3058 posts in 1101 days


#153 posted 687 days ago

Dude, I’m really easy to get along with once you learn to see it my way.

-- 2014 will be a different year...at least for me it will.

View woodshaver's profile

woodshaver

2731 posts in 1949 days


#154 posted 687 days ago

Ok, anyone remember this one… ”I’ll gladly pay you tomorrow for a hamburger today”

-- Tony C , My high school shop teacher said "You can do it"... Now I can't stop!

View DKV's profile

DKV

3058 posts in 1101 days


#155 posted 687 days ago

Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Don’t piss on my back and tell me it’s raining. Old West quote

Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.

-- 2014 will be a different year...at least for me it will.

View waho6o9's profile (online now)

waho6o9

4744 posts in 1173 days


#156 posted 687 days ago

Wimpy from Popeye.

View DKV's profile

DKV

3058 posts in 1101 days


#157 posted 687 days ago

The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians.—Pat Robertson, fundraising letter, 1992

“Evolution is a bankrupt speculative philosophy, not a scientific fact. Only a spiritually bankrupt society could ever believe it. ... Only atheists could accept this Satanic theory.” —Jimmy Swaggart

“The doctrine that the earth is neither the center of the universe nor immovable, but moves even with a daily rotation, is absurd, and both philosophically and theologically false, and at the least an error of faith.” —Catholic Church’s decision against Galileo Galilei

-- 2014 will be a different year...at least for me it will.

View derosa's profile

derosa

1532 posts in 1432 days


#158 posted 687 days ago

Can’t believe I forgot this one “it’s nothing personal, it’s just you”

Lack of planning on your part doesn’t constitute an emergency on my part
tell me again what part of this is my problem?

-- --Rev. Russ in NY-- A posse ad esse

View woodshaver's profile

woodshaver

2731 posts in 1949 days


#159 posted 687 days ago

Joke,
At the bar a woman asks a man in cow boy hat “Are you a real cow boy?” He tells her “I work on a ranch and I rope cattle and brand cattle I sure am a cow boy” he tells her. as she winks and goes to walk away the cow boy says to her, I told what i am what are you” she replies “I’m a Lesbian I like to kiss woman’s soft lips, run my fingers through their hair, eat at the #@*% and love the smell of it.” Then the nice looking lady walks away. A couple walk in and asks the man in the cow boy hat “are you a real cow boy”. The cow boy said….. “Well son, I thought I was but I just found I’m a lesbian”!

This joke is on Youtube the video is much better. TheLesbianCowboy.wmv

-- Tony C , My high school shop teacher said "You can do it"... Now I can't stop!

View DKV's profile

DKV

3058 posts in 1101 days


#160 posted 687 days ago

BTW, the quotes in post 158 are not religious quotes…they are stupid quotes. Just want to stay out of trouble and abide by the rules.

-- 2014 will be a different year...at least for me it will.

View thedude50's profile

thedude50

3503 posts in 1074 days


#161 posted 687 days ago

BOHICA bend over here it comes again

-- when I am not on Lumberjocks I am on @ http://thisoldworkshop.com where we allow free speech

View thedude50's profile

thedude50

3503 posts in 1074 days


#162 posted 687 days ago

No DKV they were religious quotes and only some of them are dumb have you ever seen anything evolve

-- when I am not on Lumberjocks I am on @ http://thisoldworkshop.com where we allow free speech

View juniorjock's profile

juniorjock

1930 posts in 2362 days


#163 posted 687 days ago

The high school football coach said this to my son during his first day in high school….. “Hey son, what’s your name….? You know, you’re pretty big for someone your size…....”

View DKV's profile

DKV

3058 posts in 1101 days


#164 posted 687 days ago

Dude50, it should be BBOHICA. It’s a prison term.

-- 2014 will be a different year...at least for me it will.

View DKV's profile

DKV

3058 posts in 1101 days


#165 posted 687 days ago

You should be able to find a few stupid quotes in this one.

Judge grants sex change for Mass. murder convict

BOSTON—State prison officials must provide taxpayer-funded sex-reassignment surgery to a transgender inmate serving life in prison for murder, because it is the only way to treat her “serious medical need,” a federal judge ruled Tuesday.

-- 2014 will be a different year...at least for me it will.

View dakremer's profile

dakremer

2447 posts in 1688 days


#166 posted 687 days ago

early bird gets the worm, but second mouse gets the cheese…

-- Hey you dang woodchucks, quit chucking my wood!!!!

View DrDirt's profile

DrDirt

2355 posts in 2339 days


#167 posted 686 days ago

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend… if you have one.”
–George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one.”
–Winston Churchill’s response to George Bernard Shaw

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”
–Stephen Bishop
————————————————————————-
“Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!”
–Lady Astor to Winston Churchill at a dinner party

“Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it!”
–Winston Churchill’s response to Lady Astor

-- "If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astonish ourselves." Edison

View waho6o9's profile (online now)

waho6o9

4744 posts in 1173 days


#168 posted 686 days ago

Good ones DrDirt, thanks.

View Surfside's profile

Surfside

3036 posts in 770 days


#169 posted 686 days ago

I love the stupidity of those quotes!

-- "someone has to be wounded for others to be saved, someone has to sacrifice for others to feel happiness, someone has to die so others could live"

View DrDirt's profile

DrDirt

2355 posts in 2339 days


#170 posted 686 days ago

:-)

“When the Okies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.” —Will Rogers

“Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.” – Will Rogers

“Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.” -Will Rogers

“Nothing you can’t spell will ever work.” – Will Rogers

“I have had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx

-- "If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astonish ourselves." Edison

View DKV's profile

DKV

3058 posts in 1101 days


#171 posted 686 days ago

Well guys…you can now add apologies to banned topics. They closed helluvawreck’s thread. I think JimC squealed.

-- 2014 will be a different year...at least for me it will.

View crank49's profile

crank49

3336 posts in 1567 days


#172 posted 686 days ago

I like my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
Groucho Marx (comment to a contestant with very large family on “You Bet Your Life” TV show.)

-- Michael :-{| “If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.” ― A H

View Surfside's profile

Surfside

3036 posts in 770 days


#173 posted 686 days ago

An early bird gets the early worm, and the late bird gets the late worm.

Birds of the same feather…are good feather duster! lol

-- "someone has to be wounded for others to be saved, someone has to sacrifice for others to feel happiness, someone has to die so others could live"

View thedude50's profile

thedude50

3503 posts in 1074 days


#174 posted 685 days ago

DKV WHO ARE YOU Really what is your real name and where are you really from. You know I once asked if the avatar was you and you lied about it and said it was you now mike shows your own tool for spotting a video worked to out you so who are you really. Have you ever met up with any of the members live. If so and your from Sac Who do you know from Sac that is a member here. I know a few people from sac and would hope you would know them too. Are you really a fraud. If you cant prove you are who you say you are I am done with you. I am not here for fun and games.

-- when I am not on Lumberjocks I am on @ http://thisoldworkshop.com where we allow free speech

View DKV's profile

DKV

3058 posts in 1101 days


#175 posted 685 days ago

Dude, that’s what makes us different. I enjoy woodworking AND fun and games. So sorry you feel a need to be done with me but you need to do what you need to do.

-- 2014 will be a different year...at least for me it will.

View thedude50's profile

thedude50

3503 posts in 1074 days


#176 posted 685 days ago

You mean you cant be real and honest about your identity

-- when I am not on Lumberjocks I am on @ http://thisoldworkshop.com where we allow free speech

View dakremer's profile

dakremer

2447 posts in 1688 days


#177 posted 685 days ago

neither can Clark Kent.

-- Hey you dang woodchucks, quit chucking my wood!!!!

View Surfside's profile

Surfside

3036 posts in 770 days


#178 posted 685 days ago

No. DKV is Clark Kent!

-- "someone has to be wounded for others to be saved, someone has to sacrifice for others to feel happiness, someone has to die so others could live"

View DKV's profile

DKV

3058 posts in 1101 days


#179 posted 685 days ago

Dude, I am real and honest. Probably realer and honester than most. I like fun and games and woodworking. How much realer and honester do you need? BTW, just so you don’t get confused…I’m DKV not Clark or Kent or Clark Kent or Kent Clark…just plain ol’ DKV. Be satisfied Dude.

-- 2014 will be a different year...at least for me it will.

View bandit571's profile

bandit571

6640 posts in 1280 days


#180 posted 685 days ago

A very old saying ( at least to me) said with whatever tone you’d like.

“Don’t mean nothing….NOT A THING!”

-- A Planer? I'M the planer, this is what I use

View DKV's profile

DKV

3058 posts in 1101 days


#181 posted 685 days ago

Dude, listen to bandit.

BTW, speaking of real and honest has anyone heard from “breath of fresh air”?

-- 2014 will be a different year...at least for me it will.

View Surfside's profile

Surfside

3036 posts in 770 days


#182 posted 685 days ago

Paging. Whoever saw Emma Walker, kindly tell him or her (I’m confused) that DKV is missing him or her(again). :)

-- "someone has to be wounded for others to be saved, someone has to sacrifice for others to feel happiness, someone has to die so others could live"

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2031 days


#183 posted 685 days ago

Tell me, as an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View Surfside's profile

Surfside

3036 posts in 770 days


#184 posted 685 days ago

DKV surely has an answer to that. He thinks he knows everything.

-- "someone has to be wounded for others to be saved, someone has to sacrifice for others to feel happiness, someone has to die so others could live"

View DKV's profile

DKV

3058 posts in 1101 days


#185 posted 685 days ago

Rex, based on you quarter-assed comment to me I’m guessing you are the one that renamed her/him “breath of fresh air”.

Surfside, not everything but very close.

-- 2014 will be a different year...at least for me it will.

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2031 days


#186 posted 685 days ago

DKV. Silly arse, that was not meant to you, it was my entry for cute sayings …......etc.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View Surfside's profile

Surfside

3036 posts in 770 days


#187 posted 685 days ago

That’s why I like you, DKV. Not because you think you know very close to everything, but of the confidence you have in yourself. Pretty high!

-- "someone has to be wounded for others to be saved, someone has to sacrifice for others to feel happiness, someone has to die so others could live"

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2031 days


#188 posted 685 days ago

Another: Empty vessels make the most noise.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2031 days


#189 posted 685 days ago

Another: If wit was shi*, then you would be constipated.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View DKV's profile

DKV

3058 posts in 1101 days


#190 posted 685 days ago

Rex, that is the second time I’ve done that. Silly me…sorry to you. BTW, who did name her “breath of fresh air”?

-- 2014 will be a different year...at least for me it will.

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2031 days


#191 posted 685 days ago

Another: Whatever the difference is between men and women, I can’t conceive. – Winston Churchill

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View DKV's profile

DKV

3058 posts in 1101 days


#192 posted 685 days ago

Rex, I’ll blame it on surfside…he thought the same thing.

-- 2014 will be a different year...at least for me it will.

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2031 days


#193 posted 685 days ago

Another from Churchill where he was tipsy in Parliament and confronted by a lady MP (Mrs. Braddock):
Prime minister, you are drunk. to which he replied; “yes madam, but tomorrow I will be sober, but you will still be ugly”.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2031 days


#194 posted 685 days ago

Another: Are you talking to me, or chewing a house brick?

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2031 days


#195 posted 685 days ago

Another – a question to someone interrupting a conversation:
“Who pulled your chain”?
Reference to when in old days flushing a toilet meant pulling a chain to the overhead cisitern

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View Surfside's profile

Surfside

3036 posts in 770 days


#196 posted 685 days ago

Opps! Looks like I made a confusion. You’re not as smart as I thought of, DKV. lol

-- "someone has to be wounded for others to be saved, someone has to sacrifice for others to feel happiness, someone has to die so others could live"

View DKV's profile

DKV

3058 posts in 1101 days


#197 posted 685 days ago

Surfside, two things:
1. I said very close.
2. I blamed it on you.
I’m still batting close to .950

-- 2014 will be a different year...at least for me it will.

View HorizontalMike's profile

HorizontalMike

6914 posts in 1510 days


#198 posted 685 days ago

Lance SAID: DKV WHO ARE YOU Really what is your real name and where are you really from. You know I once asked if the avatar was you and you lied about it and said it was you now mike shows your own tool for spotting a video worked to out you so who are you really. Have you ever met up with any of the members live. If so and your from Sac Who do you know from Sac that is a member here. I know a few people from sac and would hope you would know them too. Are you really a fraud. If you cant prove you are who you say you are I am done with you. I am not here for fun and games.

Wow, this was a long time coming. For once I am in complete agreement with you Lance, Don likes his verbal games too much for me to choose to converse with him anymore.

-- HorizontalMike -- "Woodpeckers understand..."

View Surfside's profile

Surfside

3036 posts in 770 days


#199 posted 685 days ago

Gen. Douglas McArthur said:
“I shall return!”

Japanese commented:
“Smart monkeys always has an escape route.” lol

-- "someone has to be wounded for others to be saved, someone has to sacrifice for others to feel happiness, someone has to die so others could live"

View DKV's profile

DKV

3058 posts in 1101 days


#200 posted 685 days ago

Mike, good decision. I thank you, Sarah thanks you. In fact, all my camels thank you. If I had goats as some accuse me of they would also thank you.

-- 2014 will be a different year...at least for me it will.

Have your say...

You must be signed in to reply.

« prev 1 2 3 4 5 next »
230 replies


DISCLAIMER: Any posts on LJ are posted by individuals acting in their own right and do not necessarily reflect the views of LJ. LJ will not be held liable for the actions of any user.

Latest Projects | Latest Blog Entries | Latest Forum Topics

HomeRefurbers.com

Latest Projects | Latest Blog Entries | Latest Forum Topics

GardenTenders.com :: gardening showcase