All Replies on Respect

I still want to know why abbreviation is such a long work…??

-- Drink twice... and don't bother to cut... @ larrysworkshop.wordpress.com For lovers of all things timber...

Good one Roger

My 1st wife left me, after 25 years of wedded bitchiness I never expected her to do anything so nice for me.

-- ♫♪♪♫♫ Saddletramp, saddletramp, I'm as free as the breeze and I ride where I please, saddletramp ♪♪♪♫♪ ...... Bob W....NW Michigan (Traverse City area)

Good stuff, Roger. Rodney was the best!

My favorite: My wife said she wanted to have sex in the back seat of the car. She wanted me to drive.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

Rodney on the Tonight Show: I took Viagra with prune juice, now I don’t know if I’m coming or going…..

-- Einstein: "The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." I'm Poopiekat!!

haha poopie. :) :)

-- Hey you dang woodchucks, quit chucking my wood!!!!

When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.

-- Gene 'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

Since all the “kids” have their little codes…like BFF, WTF, LOL, etc. here are some codes for seniors:

ATD – At the Doctor’s

BFF – Best Friends Funeral

BTW – Bring the Wheelchair

BYOT – Bring Your Own Teeth

CBM – Covered by Medicare

CUATSC – See You at the Senior Center

FWIW – Forgot Where I Was

FYI – Found Your Insulin

GGPBL – Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

GHA – Got Heartburn Again

HGBM – Had Good Bowel Movement

IMHO – Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO – Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL – Living on Lipitor

LWO – Lawrence Welk’s On

OMSG – Oh My! Sorry, Gas

ROFL…CGU – Rolling on the Floor Laughing…Can’t get Up!

WAITT – Who Am I Talking To?

WTFA – Wet the Furniture Again

WTP – Where’s the Prunes

WWNO – Walker Wheels Need Oil

GGLKI – Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!

-- HorizontalMike -- "Woodpeckers understand..."

Some of these are funny, some not so much, but did you really need to post the racist one?

-- I'm just learning how to cut the stuff with some other stuff...

TheKinginYellow,
Sorry, I am not quite with you? Are you serious about something racist? I am not aware that I posted anything racist. I’m not “having a go at you” or anything, but I am concerned that something was viewed as racist because I am not that way inclined.
Have a nice day.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

Im with you Roger, I find nothing about this thread or its contents racist. I had a good laugh, thanks!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chink

-- HorizontalMike -- "Woodpeckers understand..."

Thanks Mike, you live and learn, I had no idea.
Now I’m concerned because I often use words like: Yarpie, Digger, Frog, Kraut, Jock, Paddy, Taffy etc. Some refer to me as a whitey or a honky but that does not bother me. Soon you won’t be able to speak because of fearing to inadvertently using a newly designated bad word.
Thanks for the heads up, sorry KinginYellow, I did not see it as a slur.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

You want RESPECT???

This is RESPECT:
I captured about 8 of those horrible little hourglass-body spiders with the really killer venom. and left ‘em in the jar with no food.

((I’ve seen one of these about an eighth of an inch big take on a wolf spider about the size of a half dollar and the little one killed the big one. ))

I then captured one ( count ‘em one) of those god awful Japanese stink bugs and put it in the jar with the hourglass spiders.

They wouldn’t touch the stink bug.
A day went by the stink bug was unmolested
Another day, no change
I could shake them up and piss every body off and still no one wanted the stink bug.
So I left ‘em to rot maybe hunger would sweeten the meal I was thinking – - – NOPE
The friggin spiders died of starvation and the stink bug at ‘em.

Those spiders respected the stink bug sumpin fierce.

Rodney?
When I was a kid I asked my dad to take me ice skating. He said “Wait till it gets warmer”
I don’t get no respek

-- When the moderator chooses sides, his site sucks.

thank´s Roger and Mike for the chuckles … :—))))))
a great start on the weekend

Dennis

cr1
Here’s another one in the same vein.
“I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”

-- Gene 'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

Keep em coming. Give everyone a happy end to the work week

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

I’m from the east, everyone had “nicknames” for all groups. Didn’t mean sh_t. ;0)

-- jack -- ...measure once, curse twice!

There is no such thing as rape. A woman with her skirt up can run faster than a man with his trousers down.

My wife is so ugly, when she cries the tears roll down her cheeks, take one look at her face, then roll right back up again.

Two peanuts when for a walk in a park, one was assaulted.

It’s difficult making telephone calls in China, so many Wings and Wongs, often you wing the wong number.

Love making is a fellow feeling, hate is another fellow feeling.

You can never starve in the desert because of the sandwiches there.

Ba boom

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

Take my wife….please

-- Gary, DeKalb Texas only 4 miles from the mill

one more in this catagory
There is no such thing as rape. A woman with her skirt up can run faster than a man with his trousers down.

I safed a virgin from being raped today …..................... I behaved myself

Dennis

These martyr suicide bombers have got to be stopped, they have created a shortage of virgins.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

Roger SAID: Two peanuts when for a walk in a park, one was assaulted.

Are you SURE? I heard that the two peanuts were BOTH arrested for urinating in public.

-- HorizontalMike -- "Woodpeckers understand..."

That’s interesting Mike.
Some guy took a pretty girl for a walk in that same park and experienced piece on Earth.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

A giraffe walks into a bar and asks, “Do you serve highballs?”

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

Patient and doctor in Scottish Proctology clinic: Ben Doone and Phil McCavity

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

A Lumberjock and a Politician arranged to meet and have dinner together at a restaurant.
The LJ was a no show due to a boycott.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

don´t worry Roger …. they ain´t been promissed it shuold be female virgins …

Rodney:

Well, if I don’t come out of it, I’ll never know about it…

... very close to his LAST one liner…

May he Rest in Peace…

A Great Guy!

-- Have Fun! Joe Lyddon - Alta Loma, CA USA - Home: http://www.WoodworkStuff.net ... My Small Gallery: http://www.ncwoodworker.net/pp/showgallery.php?ppuser=1389&cat=500"

I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

-- Gene 'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

New Chinese cookbook ….300 ways to wok your dog…..

-- Don't rollerskate in a buffalo herd

Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Always look on the bright side of life!

-- Martyn -- Boxologist, Pattern Juggler and Candyman of the visually challenging. http://www.theartofboxes.com

Have you ever seen a:

Horse fly... or House fly... or Ice box...

?

LOL

-- Have Fun! Joe Lyddon - Alta Loma, CA USA - Home: http://www.WoodworkStuff.net ... My Small Gallery: http://www.ncwoodworker.net/pp/showgallery.php?ppuser=1389&cat=500"

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

-- I intend to live forever. So far, so good.