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View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Respect

by Roger Clark aka Rex
posted 1007 days ago


33 replies so far

View degoose's profile

degoose

6970 posts in 1952 days


#1 posted 1007 days ago

I still want to know why abbreviation is such a long work…??

-- Drink twice... and don't bother to cut... @ lazylarrywoodworks.com.au For lovers of all things timber...

View GMman's profile

GMman

3902 posts in 2295 days


#2 posted 1007 days ago

Good one Roger

View saddletramp's profile

saddletramp

994 posts in 1236 days


#3 posted 1007 days ago

My 1st wife left me, after 25 years of wedded bitchiness I never expected her to do anything so nice for me.

-- ♫♪♪♫♫ Saddletramp, saddletramp, I'm as free as the breeze and I ride where I please, saddletramp ♪♪♪♫♪ ...... Bob W....NW Michigan (Traverse City area)

View CharlieM1958's profile

CharlieM1958

15655 posts in 2816 days


#4 posted 1007 days ago

Good stuff, Roger. Rodney was the best!

My favorite: My wife said she wanted to have sex in the back seat of the car. She wanted me to drive.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View poopiekat's profile

poopiekat

3556 posts in 2332 days


#5 posted 1007 days ago

Rodney on the Tonight Show: I took Viagra with prune juice, now I don’t know if I’m coming or going…..

-- Einstein: "The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." I'm Poopiekat!!

View dakremer's profile

dakremer

2448 posts in 1689 days


#6 posted 1007 days ago

haha poopie. :) :)

-- Hey you dang woodchucks, quit chucking my wood!!!!

View Gene Howe's profile

Gene Howe

5391 posts in 2026 days


#7 posted 1007 days ago

When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.

-- Gene 'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

View HorizontalMike's profile

HorizontalMike

6914 posts in 1511 days


#8 posted 1007 days ago

Since all the “kids” have their little codes…like BFF, WTF, LOL, etc. here are some codes for seniors:

ATD – At the Doctor’s

BFF – Best Friends Funeral

BTW – Bring the Wheelchair

BYOT – Bring Your Own Teeth

CBM – Covered by Medicare

CUATSC – See You at the Senior Center

FWIW – Forgot Where I Was

FYI – Found Your Insulin

GGPBL – Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

GHA – Got Heartburn Again

HGBM – Had Good Bowel Movement

IMHO – Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO – Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL – Living on Lipitor

LWO – Lawrence Welk’s On

OMSG – Oh My! Sorry, Gas

ROFL…CGU – Rolling on the Floor Laughing…Can’t get Up!

WAITT – Who Am I Talking To?

WTFA – Wet the Furniture Again

WTP – Where’s the Prunes

WWNO – Walker Wheels Need Oil

GGLKI – Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!

-- HorizontalMike -- "Woodpeckers understand..."

View TheKingInYellow's profile

TheKingInYellow

233 posts in 2128 days


#9 posted 1007 days ago

Some of these are funny, some not so much, but did you really need to post the racist one?

-- I'm just learning how to cut the stuff with some other stuff...

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2032 days


#10 posted 1007 days ago

TheKinginYellow,
Sorry, I am not quite with you? Are you serious about something racist? I am not aware that I posted anything racist. I’m not “having a go at you” or anything, but I am concerned that something was viewed as racist because I am not that way inclined.
Have a nice day.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View Jacob Lucas's profile

Jacob Lucas

100 posts in 1029 days


#11 posted 1007 days ago

Im with you Roger, I find nothing about this thread or its contents racist. I had a good laugh, thanks!

View HorizontalMike's profile

HorizontalMike

6914 posts in 1511 days


#12 posted 1007 days ago

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chink

-- HorizontalMike -- "Woodpeckers understand..."

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2032 days


#13 posted 1007 days ago

Thanks Mike, you live and learn, I had no idea.
Now I’m concerned because I often use words like: Yarpie, Digger, Frog, Kraut, Jock, Paddy, Taffy etc. Some refer to me as a whitey or a honky but that does not bother me. Soon you won’t be able to speak because of fearing to inadvertently using a newly designated bad word.
Thanks for the heads up, sorry KinginYellow, I did not see it as a slur.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View Dennisgrosen's profile

Dennisgrosen

10850 posts in 1713 days


#14 posted 1007 days ago

thank´s Roger and Mike for the chuckles … :—))))))
a great start on the weekend

Dennis

View Gene Howe's profile

Gene Howe

5391 posts in 2026 days


#15 posted 1007 days ago

cr1
Here’s another one in the same vein.
“I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”

-- Gene 'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2032 days


#16 posted 1007 days ago

Keep em coming. Give everyone a happy end to the work week

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View jack1's profile

jack1

1907 posts in 2625 days


#17 posted 1007 days ago

I’m from the east, everyone had “nicknames” for all groups. Didn’t mean sh_t. ;0)

-- jack -- ...measure once, curse twice!

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2032 days


#18 posted 1007 days ago

There is no such thing as rape. A woman with her skirt up can run faster than a man with his trousers down.

My wife is so ugly, when she cries the tears roll down her cheeks, take one look at her face, then roll right back up again.

Two peanuts when for a walk in a park, one was assaulted.

It’s difficult making telephone calls in China, so many Wings and Wongs, often you wing the wong number.

Love making is a fellow feeling, hate is another fellow feeling.

You can never starve in the desert because of the sandwiches there.

Ba boom

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View Gary's profile

Gary

6974 posts in 2030 days


#19 posted 1007 days ago

Take my wife….please

-- Gary, DeKalb Texas only 4 miles from the mill

View Dennisgrosen's profile

Dennisgrosen

10850 posts in 1713 days


#20 posted 1007 days ago

one more in this catagory
There is no such thing as rape. A woman with her skirt up can run faster than a man with his trousers down.

I safed a virgin from being raped today …..................... I behaved myself

Dennis

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2032 days


#21 posted 1007 days ago

These martyr suicide bombers have got to be stopped, they have created a shortage of virgins.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View HorizontalMike's profile

HorizontalMike

6914 posts in 1511 days


#22 posted 1007 days ago

Roger SAID: Two peanuts when for a walk in a park, one was assaulted.

Are you SURE? I heard that the two peanuts were BOTH arrested for urinating in public.

-- HorizontalMike -- "Woodpeckers understand..."

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2032 days


#23 posted 1007 days ago

That’s interesting Mike.
Some guy took a pretty girl for a walk in that same park and experienced piece on Earth.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View CharlieM1958's profile

CharlieM1958

15655 posts in 2816 days


#24 posted 1007 days ago

A giraffe walks into a bar and asks, “Do you serve highballs?”

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2032 days


#25 posted 1007 days ago

Patient and doctor in Scottish Proctology clinic: Ben Doone and Phil McCavity

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View Roger Clark aka Rex's profile

Roger Clark aka Rex

6940 posts in 2032 days


#26 posted 1007 days ago

A Lumberjock and a Politician arranged to meet and have dinner together at a restaurant.
The LJ was a no show due to a boycott.

-- Roger-R, Republic of Texas. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life" - An eyeball to eyeball confrontation with a blind person is as complete waste of Time.

View Dennisgrosen's profile

Dennisgrosen

10850 posts in 1713 days


#27 posted 1007 days ago

don´t worry Roger …. they ain´t been promissed it shuold be female virgins …

View Joe Lyddon's profile

Joe Lyddon

7620 posts in 2650 days


#28 posted 1007 days ago

Rodney:

Well, if I don’t come out of it, I’ll never know about it…

... very close to his LAST one liner…

May he Rest in Peace…

A Great Guy!

-- Have Fun! Joe Lyddon - Alta Loma, CA USA - Home: http://www.WoodworkStuff.net ... My Small Gallery: http://www.ncwoodworker.net/pp/showgallery.php?ppuser=1389&cat=500"

View Gene Howe's profile

Gene Howe

5391 posts in 2026 days


#29 posted 1007 days ago

I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

-- Gene 'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

View Howie's profile

Howie

2656 posts in 1520 days


#30 posted 1007 days ago

New Chinese cookbook ….300 ways to wok your dog…..

-- Life is good.

View BritBoxmaker's profile

BritBoxmaker

4337 posts in 1634 days


#31 posted 1006 days ago

Time flys like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Always look on the bright side of life!

-- Martyn -- Boxologist, Pattern Juggler and Candyman of the visually challenging. http://www.theartofboxes.com

View Joe Lyddon's profile

Joe Lyddon

7620 posts in 2650 days


#32 posted 1006 days ago

Have you ever seen a:

Horse fly... or House fly... or Ice box...

?

LOL

-- Have Fun! Joe Lyddon - Alta Loma, CA USA - Home: http://www.WoodworkStuff.net ... My Small Gallery: http://www.ncwoodworker.net/pp/showgallery.php?ppuser=1389&cat=500"

View dpwalker's profile

dpwalker

265 posts in 1429 days


#33 posted 1005 days ago

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

-- You have not really lived until you do something for someone who can never repay you.

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