All Replies on Lost

UH OH, You done it now! This may get interesting.

-- " I'll try to be nicer, if you'll try to be smarter" gfadvm

I eagerly await the following comments…....

-- Patrick, Helicopters don't fly. They beat the air into submission.

The balloon crashed into the water . The man dove into the water and rescued her. They discovered they had more in common than they thought . They fell in love , and married , and sailed all over the world . They had many beautiful children and grandchildren , and they delighted in telling the story of how they first met .

That’s funny…... hold on, congress is about to pass a law that all hot are balloons will come with a GPS unit and a satellite phone as standard equipment. The phone will be used to call a newly created Federal Bureau of Logistics so someone can explain what the GPS coordinates mean…... (funded by fines imposed on Hot Air Balloon manufacturers and new surcharges on nylon, propane, and wicker)

-- Dan - Valparaiso, Indiana, "A smart man changes his mind, a fool never does."

You sure it wasn’t hot laughing gas? Actually it ended when the balloonist caught a powerful thermal, rose high into the sky disappeared and never to be heard from forever! Oh bummer!

-- Paul - The sweetest sound in my shop, next to Mozart, is what a hand plane makes slicing a ribbon.

They are easily able to hear one another due to the laws of Fiction.

-- If you're going to stir the pot, think BIG spoon or SMALL boat paddle. David Grimes, Georgia

thank´s for the morning laugh fok´s …. :—)))

preciated it , it will make the next 24 hours on the job alot easyer …. L J´s rock

Dennis

2012 is come don’t let anyone split the vote

-- "so much to learn and so little time"..

Love it!!

-- If you not making sawdust, your probably wasting your time. Kory

Jonathan,

You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level.

The boat could be in a lake which is 2,346 feet above sea level. The balloon is only 30 feet above the lake.

-- "Too much hurry ruins the body. I'll sit easy … fan the spark" - I. Anderson

Love it, Greg!

-- My dad and I built a 65 chev pick up.I killed trannys in that thing for some reason-Hog

You have to love humor hahaha
Arlin

-- It is always the right time, to do the right thing. Lovinghandsmemoryboxs.com

LOL, that was a funny joke.

-- Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. -- Albert Einstein

Again.. another piece of crap from the non-woodworking forum… and another “buddy” bites the dust.

-- ~ Eric P Jorgenson: Jorgenson Design

I have always enjoyed wit and irony. Great joke Greg.

-- A family man has photos in his wallet where his money used to be.

What was the Republican doing sitting in a boat on a dry land south of Mertzon, Texas giving erroneous altitude information? Awaiting for the Great Flood?

No. He heard that W actually stood up to pee at that spot and was looking for evidence for the presidential library.

-- If you're going to stir the pot, think BIG spoon or SMALL boat paddle. David Grimes, Georgia

EPJartisan, un-buddy someone for telling a joke? Even political or religious, that’s a pretty strong reaction. Now I could see it if it was a bad joke….

-- Wish I were Norm's Nephew

It was a great joke in the original version (with engineer and manager), but as with most plagiarized things this one suffers from poorly fitted behavioral pattern. You see, it is not enough to just substitute characters. Mind you, same joke with antagonist and protagonist swapped told during the end of Bush administration wouldn’t have worked well either.

I knew it would finally get around to being BUSH’S FAULT. Do you miss him yet?

On TV, as I am writing this, they are blaming the hurricane and it not being cleaned up already on George W.

G. W. Bush and Bill Clinton somehow ended up at the same barbershop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.

The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Clinton in his chair reached for the lilac water.

Clinton was quick to stop him saying, “No thanks, my wife Hillary will smell that and think I’ve been in a whorehouse.”

The second barber turned to Bush and said, “How about you?”

Bush replied, “Go ahead, my wife as no idea what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.”

-- If you're going to stir the pot, think BIG spoon or SMALL boat paddle. David Grimes, Georgia

David Grimes – LMFAO. Less P.C. and more jokes. That’s what I say.

-- A family man has photos in his wallet where his money used to be.

too funny David just too funny. could be talking about the next president….??

This is no place for lame ass political jokes

-- Lumberdog.. Michigan

Fair weathered buddies we can all do without. Flip the political affiliation and I’d still laugh just as hard. Why are people who are so against the non-shop-talk forum such frequent visitors? I’m a far-right gun-toting Republican, so if you need to adjust your buddy list, my screen name is bertha.

-- My dad and I built a 65 chev pick up.I killed trannys in that thing for some reason-Hog

I agree with Lumberdog….good thing David’s joke was FAR from lame ass….it was damn funny

-- "_If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astonish ourselves_." Edison

Good for you Bertha. You need a buddy who is a raving communist, that wants all fire-arms banned with strong views in favour of free housing, food and medical for any-one that doesn’t feel like working. :-)))

I can only imagine the sparks flying lol

-- A family man has photos in his wallet where his money used to be.

I had to adjust my buddy list…. just added Bertha :-)

-- "_If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astonish ourselves_." Edison

^Murch, luckily for both of us, my fiance’ is an ex-peace corp, Obama campaign working, bleeding heart liberal. It keeps me in check at home but when I’m on lumberjocks (the non-shop-talk forum specifically), I can get away with a bit more (at least I used to be able to);)

Seeing as how I already financially support all those causes you list, it would appear that I’m at least somewhat for them; against my will, like most things;)

-- My dad and I built a 65 chev pick up.I killed trannys in that thing for some reason-Hog

This is the non-shop talk forum and myself and many other Lumberjocks like jokes…unlike some lumberjocks who apparently think they have the right to tell others what should or should not be posted in a non-shop talk forum. If you do not like jokes or if you are a person who thinks you are the decision maker of what is humorous or not…then don’t read it.

-- Every step of any project should be considered your masterpiece if you want the finished product to reflect the quality of your work. http://www.FineArtBoxes.com

I like jokes.

A man walks into the non-shop-talk forum with a parrot on his shoulder…

-- My dad and I built a 65 chev pick up.I killed trannys in that thing for some reason-Hog

I heard a great political joke on NST forum just the other day. I shared it with MsDebbieP. Want to hear it ?

cr1....” We should have just burned Iran and Iraq with nukes and been done with it. Not to late .

RockyTopScott ” Cr1…i agree let ‘em have it .” Isn’t that hilarious ! I love jokes about genocide the most !

So if you want to become a political humorist , just mosey on over here to NST forum . You can say any thing you want about anyone . Don’t worry about it . Its the non-flag zone .

But kids , please don’t use offensive words ;

Instead of the ’ F ’ word , just use ’ Fornicate ‘

Instead of the ’ S ’ word , just use ’ Feces ‘

Instead of the ‘C ’ word , just use ’ Whore ’ These words are more ‘woodworker ’ friendly .

And you don’t have to use big words , children , like ’ Genocide ’ . You can just say ” All the Mommies and Daddies and puppies and kittens are burned up and dead , dead , Dead .

Ha….Ha…Ha …..F’n ha .

^Like I said, moment, I like jokes. All kinds, really.
I do not, however, endorse burned up puppies.
I like puppies. All kinds, really.
Of all people, I’m surprised that you’re supporting any manner of censorship;)

-- My dad and I built a 65 chev pick up.I killed trannys in that thing for some reason-Hog

^link to order shirt. That’s awesome.
Moment, you remind me of my fiance’, whom I love dearly. We’ve only recently met but I enjoy your comments thoroughly. Like my fiance’, you’re quick to force me to own up to my comments.
I like that about you (quite serious). I hope you don’t get that ban you’re always asking for because I’d miss you.
I don’t miss that god aweful avatar you had for a while though;)

-- My dad and I built a 65 chev pick up.I killed trannys in that thing for some reason-Hog

That was my last post and last read of NTS fomum . I won’t be back…..I didn’t say any thing about censorship.And I would be surprised that you would be surprised by anything, doc . ; )

A tall, muscular Somali pirate with a beautiful parrot on his soldier steps off the the ship onto the dock and strides into the weathered dockside bar. He takes a stool at the bar nearest the bartender who has his back to him at that moment. The bartender turns and is moved to immediately gush “My God, he’s absolutely gorgeous. Where did you get him ?” The parrot replies, “Africa ! Where do you think ?”

-- If you're going to stir the pot, think BIG spoon or SMALL boat paddle. David Grimes, Georgia

Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys.
Rum and ice will ruin your liver.
Whiskey and ice will ruin your heart.
Gin and ice will ruin your brain.
Coke and ice will ruin your teeth.

Apparently ice is lethal!!! Warn all your friends: Lay off the ice!!!.

-- "_If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astonish ourselves_." Edison

I like your wife, Al… and you too. ;-)

By the way, Al does have a buddy who favors socialism (not just for big corporations and Wall Street), affordable housing for all, affordable healthcare for all, affordable education for all, a living wage for all. You know, the typical “bleeding heart liberal” that believes everyone should have the same life chances from the start.

So what about guns? Personally, I think they’re funner than hell (can’t believe I just used that phrase). I used to own several, but moving around the country tends to put a damper on gun ownership – States’ rights nonsense and all.

And, I can guarantee that there are weapons I’ve fired that would make Al green with envy. So there!

^do tell, Pierce! And you’re one of many liberal friends I have and admire. As far as guns go, it takes a lot to make me green with envy but I always look forward to the possibility;) There are states that I refuse to enter, even their airports (and it has cost me big $ before, because of their gun policies. They don’t want me, so I don’t want them. I don’t hate them for their policies but it is what it is.

I always choose my weapon based upon the situation.

-- My dad and I built a 65 chev pick up.I killed trannys in that thing for some reason-Hog

Bertha, didn’t know where you stand so if you don’t mind I did add you to my buddy list, we have so much in common.

We’re like brothers, Clay and Nancy, I can feel it from here;)

-- My dad and I built a 65 chev pick up.I killed trannys in that thing for some reason-Hog

I don’t have the benefit of fist-hand pics like yours, but here’s a sample. It helps that I was in the military and a medic – every firing range needs a medic…

Sorry, should have identified the weapons.

#1. M-47 Dragon – anti-tank guided missile. The ordinance for this was very expensive. So I count myself lucky that they allowed me to pull the trigger.

#2. 4-deuce mortar – no longer used as far as I know. Oh the stories. My favorite.

#3. M2 .50 caliber machine gun – it kicks a little more than a 12 gauge. ;-)

A Lumberjock with a good gun collection…now there is a person I can relate to.

-- Every step of any project should be considered your masterpiece if you want the finished product to reflect the quality of your work. http://www.FineArtBoxes.com

And how, Greg. Pierce, you’ve really spent some time with some heavy machinery!

-- My dad and I built a 65 chev pick up.I killed trannys in that thing for some reason-Hog

They are able to hear each other because she is only 30 above ground…...pretty easily heard from 30 ft away
Great joke! very funny

-- Hey you dang woodchucks, quit chucking my wood!!!!

If you like a good lame ass joke, just think of G.W.Bush.

-- Lumberdog.. Michigan

DG , , The Clinton / Bush joke was hilarious !! Thanks for the laughs : )

-- When did quiet and quite become the same word ? I'm guessing about the same time as your and you're did.

Bertha, your gun collection made me drool a little. I can’t tell, is that a MAC 10 in the corner?

-- Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. -- Albert Einstein

Good joke

-- Jerry Nettrour, San Antonio, www.topqualitycabinets.net