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opinions please

by jcsterling
posted 02-16-2011 04:41 AM

19 replies so far

View lc48's profile


22 posts in 2924 days

#1 posted 02-16-2011 04:45 AM

just keep being yourself. you are a good person

View Resurrected's profile


671 posts in 2927 days

#2 posted 02-16-2011 04:46 AM

I think I see your drift. Nothing wrong with your thinking.

-- Who can I block now???????????????????????

View GuyK's profile


356 posts in 4315 days

#3 posted 02-16-2011 12:22 PM

John, sorry to hear this. I am sure you feel you have lost your trust in the person and I agree. There are plenty of wood suppliers around, I am sure you can replace him. As far as his business cards go, that is why the make shredders.

-- Guy Kroll

View CharlieM1958's profile


16281 posts in 4454 days

#4 posted 02-16-2011 05:22 PM

I agree with bentlyj. Unless there is more to the story, this seems like a pretty small deal to feel slighted over. There could be factors you are not aware of.

-- Charlie M. "Woodworking - patience = firewood"

View Gene Howe's profile

Gene Howe

11138 posts in 3664 days

#5 posted 02-16-2011 05:30 PM

I’d be highly pissed…...but I’d get over it.
I wish I had bentlyj’s attitude and insight. Then I wouldn’t have to go through the “pissed off” stage.
He’s right, too.

-- Gene 'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

View HorizontalMike's profile


7770 posts in 3149 days

#6 posted 02-16-2011 05:32 PM

IMO, this world would surely be a different place if everyone HAD to buy from the FIRST person (manufacturer) that came along EACH time they made a decision to buy a chair, cabinet, car, shirt, shoes, home, etc… Not sure I would enjoy living in such a world.

But then again, attempting to strike up a business relationship with the spouse of an existing business relationship has its own challenges and potholes. Just my 2-cents worth since you asked…

-- HorizontalMike -- "Woodpeckers understand..."

View HerbC's profile


1792 posts in 3095 days

#7 posted 02-16-2011 05:45 PM


Obviously you previously thought the lumber dealer provided good value. Has his merchandise changed in any way? He may have had many reasons to get another craftsman to complete the project. Perhaps he was unwilling to ask you because he either felt guilty about “copying” your design or ashamed that he had blotched the job himself. Perhaps his wife pressured him to use the other craftsman for some reason (price perhaps???).

I think you should continue doing business as usual with this supplier. Of couse if another supplier provides competative quality, pricing and service there’s nothing say you wouldn’t move to them.

Good Luck!

Be Careful!


-- Herb, Florida - Here's why I close most messages with "Be Careful!"

View Gregn's profile


1642 posts in 3219 days

#8 posted 02-16-2011 06:46 PM

I wouldn’t worry about it. You were satisfied with the business you were doing with him to invite him to the show. Wives have a way of getting men to do things that they may not have done otherwise. Continue doing business with him unless you can find a better supplier. As for handing out his business card and getting a large order from it, may just be chalking up some brownie points. One suggestion when handing out another’s business card is to write referred by and your name in a bright color not on the card. When this business see’s this they tend to take note of such referrals. I have done this and have received benefit at times for such referrals.

When I was a handyman I saw a lot of the competition copy each other trying to out do each other. I didn’t let it get to me as my work spoke for itself. There were a few times I had been called back to redo their work. So let your work speak for itself. I found copiers usually don’t last long in the business.

-- I don't make mistakes, I have great learning lessons, Greg

View Sawmillnc's profile


150 posts in 3290 days

#9 posted 02-17-2011 01:24 AM

Do business elsewhere. Nothing makes a statement like buying elsewhere.

-- Kyle Edwards,, Iron Station , NC (near Charlotte)

View Blue Mountain Woods's profile

Blue Mountain Woods

110 posts in 3169 days

#10 posted 02-17-2011 03:36 AM

IMHO… is business. The personal side is a social nicety, but I think not to be taken personally. If a supplier exists that can beat his price and/or quality, change suppliers. If not, then stay with him. That said, you’d have to extend the same privilege to him. Keeps business business, as it should probably be.

-- Pete -----

View cabs4less's profile


235 posts in 2997 days

#11 posted 02-17-2011 05:03 AM

Yeah I agree with sawmillnc I used to order all my stuff no matter thier price from one guy but one time I ordered a lazy susan kit and it was missing pieces and instead of just shipping me a new kit and me shiiping the old one back to him he wanted to just order the part. Might sound okay but not when thats the only thing in between me and a check. ( btw I get orders on wed and I called him on tues so I could have had the new one wed and he the old one wed) So for that I take my money somewhere else So yeah I would be mad and I would ask him for an explation and if his answer wasnt up to par I would tell him to lose my number

-- As Best I Can

View BobG's profile


172 posts in 3197 days

#12 posted 02-17-2011 05:04 AM

How much money have you made from the wood you get from him. I don’t mean to tell us figures just a hint to you as to how valuable his business is to yours.

-- BobG, Lowell, Arkansas--------My goal in life is to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am! Make more saw dust!!

View Puzzleman's profile


417 posts in 3179 days

#13 posted 02-17-2011 07:40 PM

I agree with GregN. If you were happy with the vendor before why change now to spite yourself??

Besides, maybe he changed the subject because he was embarrassed. Maybe his wife farmed it out to someone else. There are too many variable that you don’t know.

Remember that it isn’t personal, it’s business. If you are happy with his business in your dealings, that is all that should matter.

-- Jim Beachler, Chief Puzzler,

View dbray45's profile


3320 posts in 3012 days

#14 posted 02-17-2011 07:56 PM

You are there to buy his lumber. If it is good value, buy from him unless you are doing better elsewhere – then buy there. I try to have several suppliers so I don’t have this issue. One of my suppliers is retired from making piano cases and has been a great help to me. I rent time on his equipment that I do not have like 12” jointers, 20” planer, etc…

Keep business as business and personal relationships seperate – best policy.

He will buy from whom he desires – its business.

-- David in Damascus, MD

View Paul M's profile

Paul M

91 posts in 3955 days

#15 posted 02-17-2011 08:11 PM

I agree with deke, and I find this behavior somewhat shady. Not dishonest, but not the kind of person I would chose to confide in.

Unless you sell used cars, trust is a most important part of business. If you only want to sell once to a customer, it doesn’t matter, but any good customer or vendor should be in it for the long haul. As long as he has what you want at the price you want to pay, I would continue to buy from him. However, if you should find a new source I would not hesitate to change with no feeling of regret or being disloyal.

Oh, by the way, in business a important part of ongoing relationships is reciprocity. this can be either purchasing both ways or giving referrals. You seem to be the only one performing your side of the equation.

-- Paul from New England "No man is a failure who is enjoying life". William Feather

View Gator's profile


383 posts in 3911 days

#16 posted 02-17-2011 08:59 PM

My $0.02 – Business is business – dont take or make it personlal. The minute you make things personal it becomes way too complicated. You need to make decisions every day that allow you to look in the mirror and truly respect the person you see looking back, no matter what the other person says or does. You don’t have to live with them. If you are happy with the service and product this guy provides, then focus on that and let everything else run off your back.
Every day of your life you should strive to be the person your dog thinks you are.


-- Master designer of precision sawdust and one of a kind slivers.

View DrDirt's profile


4526 posts in 3977 days

#17 posted 02-17-2011 10:25 PM

Perhaps when asked and he changed the subject – he may have been obligated by his spouse or inlaws/coworkers to go to them directly when he didn’t have time.

Also maybe what they did for him might have turned out to be crap, and as such it is a sore point in the family. might envision the stife of ”I told you we should have just called John but noooo! you said lets have my uncles neighbors cousin joebob do it and now look what we got!”
ya just never know, but the fact he was uncomfortable about the topic tells me there is more to it. In the grand scheme – if you get good stuff at a good price, why go out of your way to avoid his business? Just not really a big deal.

-- “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” Mark Twain

View jcsterling's profile


462 posts in 3820 days

#18 posted 02-17-2011 10:59 PM

Well, thanks for all the rational insight into this question. One bit of info I neglected to divulge. He will be using the newly construted piece in his display when he ventures out to various ww shows promoting his business. Perhaps this is what burns me the most. He is doing this due to a dimensional error on his part and now he cannot use it for what was originally intended. I have no intention of cutting off my nose to spite my face and will continure to purchase the slabs from him. standard lumber however I am sourceing elsewhere unless it is more convenient to deal with him. I am fortunate to have a wealth of lumber suppliers in my area (conventional lumber).

-- John , Central PA , on facebook:!/pages/JC-Sterling-fine-furniture/104430802928776

View Blue Mountain Woods's profile

Blue Mountain Woods

110 posts in 3169 days

#19 posted 02-18-2011 12:21 AM

Just me; but I’d take that as a compliment. He doesn’t sound like the woodworker that you are, so he can’t simply copy everything that you do. Chalk it up as a small lesson, maybe. Personally, since I don’t get paid to teach, I don’t disclose everything I do. The last time someone got too close with the questions, I just smiled and said “I just keep my pocketknife real sharp and my eyes closed…...and sometimes I get lucky.”

-- Pete -----

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