Reply by William

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Posted on Anyone Else Behind And Stressed for the Holidays?

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9949 posts in 2839 days

#1 posted 11-14-2011 02:58 PM

In the wee hours of this morning, I sat here in the dark at the kitchen table. I was by myself. I sit in my wheelchair when I am hurting bad because the back of it just wraps around my back and supports me better than anything else I have found. I thought about that chair and the doctor’s advice as to what will eventually happen if I continue to push myself.
I thought about the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday and what I have to be thankful for, my family and friends. They are all I have that truly means anything to me.
I thought about the holiday soon after that one, the celebration of Jesus’s birth. Then I thought about all the Lord has done for me. I won’t go into that one at the risk of offending some. All I will say is that for a man who was supposed to be dead long ago, and three times now was supposed to never walk again according to doctors, I have witnessed miracles.
I thought about all that I wish to do for my kids. Then I thought about the fact that one is gone from home. I seldom see him. I have two others leaving home soon. Another will be going off to college next year. That leaves exactly half my kids gone. How quickly they go.
I am being honest as I can be here, so I will tell you that I thought of all the things I can no longer do since my wreck in ‘99.
I thought of many other thing. I want to keep this short enough to read though. So we won’t go into everything.
Suffice to say, I thought long and hard. Towards the end, I had a good cry.
Yes I cry. Any man that tells you e doesn’t cry is either lying, doesn’t have a heart, or just hasn’t been down far enough yet.

I vented here last night because I had few options on where to turn. I somehow didn’t want to burden my family. I thank the people who commented. You could have told me to man up and shut up. Instead you reached out in kindness. Thank you.
I put the final coat of laquer on my latest project yesterday evening. I will snap some photos of that today to post this evening. That will be my final project though until I catch up with a few things and get to feeling better.
Lately I have been pushing through the pain and doing things no matter what, then paying for this by lying in bed at night suffering to the point of misery. I cannot tell you why I do this. Maybe its pride. Maybe its past demons I do deal with on a regular basis. I can’t say at this time. What I do know is that I must find a different pace if I am to continue doing anything at all.
So, let me get through Thanksgiving anyway. I do know I have one project to do the week of Thanksgiving. That one will be more fun than anything else though because its something I promised I’d help my Dad with that we can do together. Other than that, and the one I’ll post later this evening, happy holidays, and I’ll see you all on the other side.


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