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Posted on How do you create the rough cut mill looking texture?

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5849 posts in 3611 days

#1 posted 05-21-2010 08:39 PM

please write this down carefully, whack the wood at regulo mark 99 for twenty four hours beating constantly with a sock full of cold grits ,and the rub down with an elderly naked lady for four hours on both sides .Then when allowed to cool down,a final wipe down with a dirty diaper full of wet sawdust and donkey fur .Then a final pass over with scalding hot leg irons or chains to texturise the surface, then soak the completed project red beetles urine about forty gallons should do for a week,then leave over the next forty years to dry out in the desert sun.And if that doesn’t work I really have nothing better to suggest.PS please don’t block this message as it may one day save a few bucks to someone.and as a half live morphined Scotsman this is ultra important. Alistair

-- excuse my typing as I have a form of parkinsons disease

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