|Project by Brit||posted 11-17-2013 03:44 PM||2541 views||1 time favorited||20 comments|
Those of you who follow my blog will remember that every year my wife and some other volunteers organize a local charity Christmas carnival. Well this year the theme is ‘Showtime’ and the local high school in conjunction with my wife’s firm of solicitors are putting a float in the procession to represent the show Stomp. For those of you who don’t know, Stomp is basically a group of percussionists who make music out of household objects. Go and see them if you have the chance.
So anyhow, over the last few months my wife has been collecting all kinds of junk that could be used to make music. Pots and pans, kitchen sinks, radiators, dustbins, oil drums, wheels, car doors, etc. You name it and it has turned up in my back garden.
Well I came home one Friday and couldn’t help discerning that ‘her indoors’ was being extraordinarily nice to me. “She’s after something” I thought, but since her being nice to me is such a rare event, I decided to say nothing and milk it for as long as possible. Finally, she came out with it. The conversation went something like this:
Wife: “I want you to make me some tubular bells.”
Me: “You’re ‘avin’ a laugh luv. Tubular bells? What am I gonna make those out of?”
Wife: “I pulled four 2×4s out of a skip on my way home from work and they’re in the car. They’re only a prop, so they don’t have to actually work.”
Me: “Don’t worry, they won’t.”
Wife: “And they’ve got to look ‘street’ – like they were thrown together.”
Me: “Don’t worry, they will.”
Wife: “Have a think about it and see what you can come up with.”
Me: “If I must.”The next day, I dragged the 2×4s out of her car and removed all the nails. Sighting down their length my heart sank.
- Warped – Yes
- Bowed – Yes
- Crook – Yes
- Twist – Yes
- Checking – Yes
- Lumps missing – Yes
“There was a reason these were in the skip”, I thought.
I took the worst of it out with a portable electric planer whilst thinking what the hell I was going to do with this crap.
“I’m making your favourite for dinner tonight?” smiled the wife.
“You’d better be” I mumbled.
“Have you come up with any ideas yet? By the way, it needs to be flat-packed, so I can get it in the car.”
“Fine”, says I hoping this was not going to be one of those ever changing spousal design briefs.
So with a saw-saw here and a chop-chop there, here a saw, there a chop, everywhere a saw chop, this is what I managed to cobble together after getting the royal approval on the design.
Now here’s the technical bit: M & T joints, loose-wedged M & Ts and halving joints. The screws are not part of the joinery, they are only there to stop the crappy pine splitting during assembly. The cans were drilled and slid onto aluminium tubing to keep them aligned. I tapped the ends of the tubing so I could screw in some eyelets. They are secured to the bottom rail with fishing line to prevent them blowing around too much during the procession.
She’s happy, I’m glad to see the back of it and we’re both SICK TO DEATH OF HEINZ BAKED BEANS!!!
-- Andy -- Old Chinese proverb say: "If you think something can't be done, don't interrupt man who is doing it."