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Joiner mallet “Prejudiced and Angry!!”

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Project by Jamie McDonald posted 07-05-2018 04:59 PM 1390 views 6 times favorited 19 comments Add to Favorites Watch

So one day during recess a hot-headed, smart-ass Sweetheart chisel befriended a dumb, naive mutt of a mallet, and they quickly became the best of playground buddies. A match made in heaven! The blundt Mallet was only about 7 ounces at that age and could barely crack a peanut. The chisel on the other hand was very witty, but was a small 1/8” inch.. not very wide, but still deadly like a young venimous snake. One day the two ended up fighting, as even the bestest of friends do sometimes, and the chisel violently attacked him above the left eye, took a chunk out of his neck, and then set fire to his face. Instantly there was canary-colored blood all over the place and burly melted skin shavings stuck to the workbench. Good thing I was on the playground when it happened. Responding quickly, I filled the wounds with CA glue and used an activator to rapidly stop the bleeding. After the fatal wounds were quickly patched, the mallet was in the “JM inspired” urgent care facility for nearly 17 hours before we were sure he was going to survive.

Ever since that day, the Mallet hasn’t liked chisels, and I do admit, “who could blame him?” In fact, the Mallet is now grown-up, weighs in at 38 portly ounces, and absolutely despises chisels in an OCD kind of way. Every other tool in the garage is scared of him… because sometimes a mallet can fix anything, even things that aren’t broken yet. His mottos are, “the only good chisel is a properly beaten chisel”, and “the louder they scream, the harder I beat them, and that makes life worth living”. Its all he ever talks about. He says the best days are when he gets to abuse chisels relentlessly…and that makes him even angrier, which he finds very fulfilling. I have never seen him smile since that horrifying day on the playground. He’s been prejudiced and angry ever since! I think if we can find a girlfriend for him maybe she can bring some zen-like joy into his life and he can displace some of that hateful energy. I’m trying to teach him to be patient and work with the chisels… not against them, but i’m sure, like me, you can imagine how hard it is to be a mallet and not beat on something as hard as you can.


Mallet is made from Canarywood, Leopardwood, cherry burl (thanks grandpa!!), yellowheart and mahogany dowels, Wenge and bubinga splines. I used the veritas dowelmaker to make the yellowheart 5/8” dowels.

Finished with 1 part each: BLO, minwax satin wipe-on polyurethane, mineral spirits. It penetrated the wood very nicely.

A Simple quick drawing was the inspiration

-- "The notes I handle no better than many pianists. But the pauses between the notes - ah, that is where the art resides!" --Artur Schnabel





19 comments so far

View EarlS's profile

EarlS

1289 posts in 2404 days


#1 posted 07-05-2018 05:07 PM

Gruesome story :+D awesome mallet. Great details and choice of profiles.

-- Earl "I'm a pessamist - generally that increases the chance that things will turn out better than expected"

View majuvla's profile (online now)

majuvla

12583 posts in 2924 days


#2 posted 07-05-2018 05:43 PM

Fascinating and unique shape!

-- Ivan, Croatia, Wooddicted

View pottz's profile

pottz

2722 posts in 1041 days


#3 posted 07-05-2018 06:00 PM

thats a great story to go with a great mallet.thats a cool design and the woods are beautiful.nice work jamie.

-- sawdust the bigger the pile the bigger my smile-larry,so cal.

View helluvawreck's profile

helluvawreck

31749 posts in 2923 days


#4 posted 07-05-2018 06:34 PM

This is a nice shop made tool.

-- helluvawreck aka Charles, http://woodworkingexpo.wordpress.com

View Underdog's profile

Underdog

1133 posts in 2092 days


#5 posted 07-05-2018 06:40 PM

You have quite the imagination there…

Nice mallet. Funny story.

View mel52's profile

mel52

443 posts in 321 days


#6 posted 07-05-2018 06:40 PM

That is possibly the coolest mallet I have ever seen. Excellent job !!!

-- MEL, Kansas

View torus's profile

torus

118 posts in 469 days


#7 posted 07-05-2018 06:46 PM

Now you just have to build showcase for this mallet. You will not use it, will you?

PS. Good story too!

-- "It's getting better..." - put this on my RIP stone!

View HokieKen's profile

HokieKen

5679 posts in 1195 days


#8 posted 07-05-2018 07:20 PM

Excellent work! That is one bad-assed mallet!

-- Kenny, SW VA, Go Hokies!!!

View htl's profile

htl

3967 posts in 1215 days


#9 posted 07-05-2018 08:28 PM

That is a Real Beauty!!!

-- Learn More About Making Wooden Models. An Index Of My Model making Blogs. http://lumberjocks.com/htl/blog/116729

View therealSteveN's profile

therealSteveN

775 posts in 630 days


#10 posted 07-05-2018 08:29 PM

Sweet, the only thing better than massive is mean, menacing, and massive. I like it a lot, but does it thwack stuff with a nice sound?

Nice work, thanks for posting.

-- Think safe, be safe

View john111's profile

john111

73 posts in 2042 days


#11 posted 07-05-2018 09:39 PM

Should we call you Thor? LOL, Nice!

-- john111

View jeffswildwood's profile (online now)

jeffswildwood

3371 posts in 2033 days


#12 posted 07-05-2018 09:43 PM

Now that’s a real beater!

-- We all make mistakes, the trick is to fix it in a way that says "I meant to do that".

View Jamie McDonald's profile

Jamie McDonald

174 posts in 2337 days


#13 posted 07-05-2018 09:44 PM


Now you just have to build showcase for this mallet. You will not use it, will you?

PS. Good story too!

- torus


It will absolutely get used! The mallet is too angry to let any chisel walk by without picking a fight!


Sweet, the only thing better than massive is mean, menacing, and massive. I like it a lot, but does it thwack stuff with a nice sound?

Nice work, thanks for posting.

- therealSteveN

I haven’t heard the mallet make a single sound… he is silent and violent, but the chisels.. well.. their scream is pure enjoyment to my ears!


Should we call you Thor? LOL, Nice!

- john111


I’d be willing to wage a bet that my mallet can beat up Thor’s hammer. But I guess we will never know because his hammer was broken to bits in the last movie… maybe Thor needs a new, angrier, and imporoved one! I’ll accept the phone call if he wants to take it for a “spin”.

-- "The notes I handle no better than many pianists. But the pauses between the notes - ah, that is where the art resides!" --Artur Schnabel

View ColonelTravis's profile

ColonelTravis

1843 posts in 1950 days


#14 posted 07-05-2018 09:48 PM

Pure awesome

View duckmilk's profile

duckmilk

2977 posts in 1381 days


#15 posted 07-05-2018 11:43 PM

^ What he said!

-- "Duck and Bob would be out doin some farming with funny hats on." chrisstef

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